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This Tuesday in TV-DVD – Oct. 27, 2009

October 27, 2009 /

You’re familiar with Jason’s “Blu Tuesday” column? Well, given how many TV-DVD sets continue to hit the market on a weekly basis, it occurred to me that it might not be such a bad idea to do a regular round-up of the highlights of what the TV geeks out there…and, obviously, I count myself among their number…can look forward to finding on store shelves on a given week. And, thus, I bring you…

This Tuesday in TV-DVD!

Yeah, I know: it’s not a great title. But at least you can’t claim there’s any false advertising.

Let’s get started, shall we?

* Battlestar Galactica: The Plan: I was able to talk with Dean Stockwell on Friday about this new flick, but at the time, I hadn’t seen it yet…and, y’know, you can’t bluff when you’re talking to Cavil, so it was a little embarrassing when I had to admit my ignorance. Fortunately for you, John Paulsen has since reviewed it for us, giving it four stars and providing this warning: “Newbies who are considering jumping into the series should not — I repeat SHOULD NOT — start with ‘The Plan,’ for three major reasons: 1) this was meant as an epilogue, not a prologue, 2) it could be extremely confusing, and 3) there are way too many secrets that would be revealed in one fell swoop. Don’t do it.” Listen to the man, I beg you.

* Monty Python: Almost the Truth – The Lawyer’s Cut: If saw my posting about my trip to NYC to attend the Python reunion on behalf of this film, then you already know I’m partial to this set. As such, you don’t really need to see my proper review of the full-length documentary on Bullz-Eye, but if it helps, I’ll just offer up the last line, in which I state, “If you’re looking for the no-holds-barred story of the group (but not their subsequent solo projects, which – aside from what they’re doing currently – are ignored), then this is definitely the place to go.” It’s also worth noting that there are a couple of other Python DVDs which have in no way coincidentally emerged this week, but while I’m sure “Monty Python: The Other British Invasion” and “The Best of Monty Python” have their merits (and, indeed, I believe the former will soon be reviewed by our own David Medsker), there’s no question that “Almost the Truth” is the absolute must-own of the bunch.

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Battlestar Galactica, External Entertainment, External TV, News, Reality TV, TV, TV Action, TV Cartoons, TV Comedies, TV Dramas, TV DVDs, TV Reality, TV Sci-Fi

The Scream Awards go down the rabbit hole (updated)

October 27, 2009 /

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There was a time in this world when young people were frequently slightly ashamed of being bigger than average fans of horror, science fiction, fantasy, and especially comic books. I, personally, wasn’t embarrassed …and I paid a price. Those days may be over. In any case, the capacity crowd that showed up for Spike TV’s Scream awards, largely in costume and largely dramatically over- or under-dressed for a nighttime outdoor show after a very warm day, seemed more like club kids and less like the kind of uber geeks who become entertainment bloggers and film critics and stuff like that.

The Scream Awards are, in their fun/silly way, a big deal. Big enough to attract a good number of stars and even a few superstars like Tobey Maguire, Jessica Alba, Morgan Freeman, Harrison Ford, Johnny Depp and his living legend “Pirates of the Caribbean” muse, Rolling Stone Keith Richard.

I, however, am not such a big deal and was reminded of that fact when, prior to the show I found myself with the less fashionable members of the not-quite paparazzi on the “red carpet” (actually a checkered walkway) with my little digital camera and even smaller digital recorder device, wondering whether I’d really get a chance to ask a question of one of the super-famed folks, knowing that the only question I could think of at the time would be something in the nature of “What’s it like be the most notorious rock and roll star in the world, having your blood changed, and snorting your late father’s ashes?” That probably would have been inappropriate, especially if I asked it of Jessica Alba.

What actually seems to happen at events like this is that, if you’re a small-timer especially, most of the big stars either go through another entrance or walk right by you at warp speed. Meanwhile, folks who are a bit more anxious to meet the press find their way to you with the help of PR types. As an example, for about half a second, I was almost able to talk with actor Karl Urban, who did such a great job homaging DeForest Kelly while putting his own hilarious stamp on “Bones” McCoy in “Star Trek.” However, within a nanosecond he remembered he was in a big hurry and politely scurried off.

After a few odd reality show people I didn’t recognize, and the pretty young actress who assays the part of “Female Addict” in “Saw VI,” our first actual notable was statuesque model turned actress Tricia Helfer. Helfer is, make no mistake, a true superstar to TV sci-fi fans and is best known as Number Six, aka “the hot blonde cylon” on “Battlestar Galactica.” The actress appeared with her significant other, the owner of a British accent and a Giaus Baltar-style beard, but I’m sure that’s a total coincidence. I had a not terribly consequential discussion with her — lost because I apparently forgot to press the “on” button on my digital recorder. One would expect no less an effect from Number Six. UPDATE: Yeesh! As pointed out by my PH compatriot John Paulsen, the actress was actually Kate Vernon, who played the lady-MacBeth-like Ellen Tigh. It is true, all statueseque blonde women in shiny dresses look alike to me! My apologies to all concerned or unconcerned.

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Action Movies, Actors, Actresses, Comic-Con, External Entertainment, External Movies, External TV, Horror Movies, Movie Comedies, Movie Dramas, Movies, News, Sci-Fi Movies, TV, TV Sci-Fi

Have a Happy Halloween with “Hammer Glamour”

October 27, 2009 /

Are you one of those film buffs who believes that Hammer equals Horror? I’m almost a little embarrassed to admit it, but for the longest time, I didn’t know the first thing about Hammer Films, let alone their reputation amongst horror film aficionados. I was one of those kids who lived and died by the classic six-pack of Universal monster movies – “Dracula” (1931), “Frankenstein” (1931), “The Mummy” (1932), “The Invisible Man” (1933), “The Wolf Man” (1941), and “The Creature from the Black Lagoon” (1954) – and any and all of the sequels they inspired. In fact, it wasn’t until 2005 that I really got an education into the world of Hammer, courtesy of a set released, ironically, by Universal: “The Hammer Horror Series.” It’s part of Universal’s so-called “Franchise Collection,” and although it’s certainly not a comprehensive set, it does include several films which give you a feel for the Hammer style of horror, including “Brides of Dracula,” “Curse of the Werewolf,” their 1962 version of “Phantom of the Opera,” “Paranoiac,” “Kiss of the Vampire,” “Nightmare,” “Night Creatures,” and “Evil of Frankenstein.”

There’s something about Hammer, though, that would’ve brought me to their back catalog of films long ago if only I’d been aware of it: they were really, really good at combining their horror with incredibly hot women. And if you doubt this to be true, then may I assure you that there is ample evidence of this fact…emphasis on the ample…in “Hammer Glamour: Classic Images from the Archive of Hammer Films.” Given that scary movies were the studio’s stock and trade in their glory days, it’s probably not coincidental that Titan Books decided to wait until right around Halloween to release this glossy tome, but rest assured that the photos contained within – and on the cover, as you can see below – are the sort which can be appreciated all year round.

Author Marcus Hearn was given the opportunity to delve deep into the Hammer vaults, and, boy, did he make the most of it. “The deeper we dug in Hammer’s archive, and the other picture libraries we visited, the more hidden gems we uncovered,” he said, in an interview with Titan. “Glamour photography was one of the most important elements of any Hammer publicity campaign, so there was no shortage of pictures to choose from. Unfortunately, they hadn’t always been stored with the greatest care, so the extensive restoration was by far the most time-consuming part of assembling the book.”

The team of restorers did good work, to be certain, but so did Hearn, who interviewed as many of the Hammer actresses as possible and, beyond that, has compiled solid biographies for each. And even those of you who aren’t familiar with Hammer’s history will likely still recognize several of the names within the book, including Ursula Andress (“Dr. No”), Nastassja Kinski (“Tess,” “Cat People”), Joanna Lumley (“Absolutely Fabulous”), and Raquel Welch (“Fantastic Voyage,” “One Million Years B.C.,” and, of course, “Myra Breckinridge”).

Not only is “Hammer Glamour” great to look at, but odds are that it’ll leave you wanting to head to Netflix and check out the body of work that these women accumulated for the studio. And if part of the reason for doing so is because you want to check out their actual bodies in the process…well, I think they’d probably understand. After all, you don’t think they were wearing those bodices because they were comfortable, do you?

In closing, to whet your appetite and tempt you further into picking up the book (which you can do by clicking here), here’s an extremely well-done collection of clips of some of the studio’s stable of actresses…and set to Kate Bush’s “Hammer Horror,” no less:

Actresses, External Entertainment, External Movies, Horror Movies, News, Video

Dancing with the Stars 9.12 — Round Six

October 27, 2009 /

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Last week, one of the stronger dancers was eliminated because America likes to reward inadequacy. It’s troubling to a new viewer such as myself who is more interested in the show’s competitive aspects. When Natalie Coughlin got the boot, I realized this show couldn’t be both entertaining and fair. If the producers wanted to acknowledge talent, the judges would decide the outcomes. Voters calling in currently affect half the decision, and this was enough to eliminate Natalie Coughlin before a weaker dancer like Kelly Osbourne. It was sad and stupid. The judges looked betrayed. They had probably expected Natalie to face Mya in the finals. Now, because America consistently roots for the underdog, that won’t happen. The show should lower the influence on the voter’s percentage and reduce the number from 50 percent to 25 percent. Don’t even tell the viewers. Just do it. I can’t believe Michael Irvin is still in this competition. I mean, what is wrong you people? You really wanted to watch him dance over Natalie? Give me a break.

Nine couples remain. At this rate, we should be done by the Super Bowl.

Team Dances

Mya with Dmitry Chaplin (jitterbug)

Here’s the problem. The judges actually give the talented dancers harsher criticism. When the weaker celebrities perform, they pepper their low scores with compliments. The viewers aren’t really paying attention to the scores, but to what the judges say. Therefore, when they hear negative comments, they automatically assume the dance was bad. This constantly happened with Natalie Coughlin and she was prematurely sent home. Mya is easily the most skilled dancer out of the celebrities. The judges know it, but they’re not expressing it clearly enough. If they want Mya to stay, they need to voice their praise.

Melissa Joan Hart with Mark Ballas (waltz)

Man, Natalie Coughlin would have owned this dance. Melissa is so stiff. Her partner is pulling her along like she’s on a rope.

Mark Dacascos with Lacey Schwimmer (jitterbug)

The judges better give this one high scores. The dance had character, energy, chemistry, and humor. I don’t know. Of all the dances I’ve seen this season, this was my favorite.

Aaron Carter with Karina Smirnoff (waltz)

They’re dancing to “Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady” by the Commodores. Seems like a strange choice to me. Carter did a good job with the steps, which appeared complicated. He just takes this show so seriously. I always feel like he’s going to burst into tears when he gets a negative comment.

Michael Irvin with Anna Demadova (waltz)

Why was this dance so funny? Was it because he kept smiling while performing a dumbed-down version of the waltz? He legitimately looks like he’s enjoying himself out there, but his dances are never impressive.

Kelly Osbourne with Louis Van Amstel (jitterbug)

I agree with what the judges said. Kelly is never completely confident or comfortable. It’s a little too late to harness her talent. Still, I don’t think she has the ability to compete with Mya, Mark, or Donny.

Louie Vito with Chelsie Hightower (jitterbug)

I thought Louie would be dominating by now. He was very entertaining in the first two rounds, but has lost some steam. Like Kelly, he is one of the crowd favorites, but that means less and less at this point in the competition. This jitterbug was all over the place. I was fond of all the acrobatics, but not the occasional sloppiness.

Joanna Krupa with Derek Hough (waltz)

Somebody please tell me who originally performed this song! It feels very familiar to me. As for the dance, I appreciated it. Joanna and Derek reminded me of an old married couple rather than two bubbly youngsters.

Donny Osmond with Kym Johnson (jitterbug)

Each week, I’m surprised by Donny’s performance. I always expect an unenthusiastic and stiff routine, but that never happens. He knows how to entertain a room in a way the other celebrities are yet to master. You forget about his footwork because you’re watching Donny and Kym as a team. They work and dazzle as a unit. It’s hard to critique Donny when you’re focused on both dancers.

Group Mambo

All of the couples will start on the floor together. The judges will gradually eliminate the couples until the best remains.

Below is the order of elimination, which affects their overall score.

1. Michael and Anna
2. Louie and Chelsea
3. Melissa and Mark
4. Kelly and Louis
5. Mark and Lacey
6. Donny and Kym
7. Aaron and Karina
8. Mya and Dmity
9. Joanna and Derek

Did anybody notice the move where Derek bent Joanna in an awkward position, then thrust her up and down as if she were (you know)? I can’t believe they put that on camera.

Michael Irvin or Melissa Joan Hart are finished tomorrow. It’s time.

Reality TV, TV, TV Reality

Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.6 — The Bare Midriff

October 27, 2009 /

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I’ve seen every second of “Curb Your Enthusiasm” and I can easily say that this was the most ridiculous episode yet. I don’t mean “ridiculous” as in “stupid,” but as in “incredibly zany.” During the filming of “The Bare Midriff,” I’m sure the cast and crew thought to themselves, This is too bizarre — even for us.

“Curb” has always wrapped up its seasons after 10 episodes, so we expected this one to tap back into the “Seinfeld” reunion. Larry only has five more episodes to destroy everything in sight.

Larry’s still trying to win Cheryl back, and part of the plan involves casting her as George’s ex-wife. As luck would have it, Meg Ryan has dropped out due to scheduling conflicts. Larry suggests using Cheryl, but Jerry isn’t too keen on the idea. He wants her to read for the part.

In walks their young secretary, who’s tiny shirt exposes her bare, flabby midriff. While fixing a tricky air vent, her paunch seems even more inappropriate. It’s decided that Larry needs to tell her to cover up. He does, but manages to completely offend her in the process, so she quits.

The two friends leave to meet Richard Lewis for lunch. After Jerry is cut off while driving, he gives the other driver a gentle honk. Bad idea. The guy get out of his car and rips into Seinfeld.

Over at the restaurant, Lewis shows up after Jerry and Larry have already finished eating. Lewis still wants to order, but his friends are in the midst of an inane discussion about who should have to move over to make room. Lewis gets fed up and leaves. Nobody wants to be around these jokesters.

After an awkward encounter with Cheryl outside the studio, Larry has to face an upset Julia Louis-Dreyfuss. The girl who quit, Maureen, is the daughter of one of Julia’s past nannies. The woman has suffered some kind of breakdown and doesn’t need the added stress. Ever the peacemaker, Larry goes to set things right. Maureen agrees to come back to work, even though they don’t resolve the issue of the flab. Maureen’s mother soon returns from the market and nearly faints when she notices Larry. She thinks he looks exactly like her first husband who, in fact, was murdered on their honeymoon after honking at the wrong driver. (Wasn’t Jerry lucky?) Larry inspects an old photo of the guy and isn’t convinced: Not all bald men look alike. He excuses himself to the bathroom. Due to a new pill, his urine stream is uncontrollable and liquid is splashing everywhere. One sneaky drop even manages to land on a portrait of Jesus, just under an eyelash. Larry senses disaster.

Richard Lewis calls Larry to sound off about the restaurant catastrophe. He had wanted to give Larry a signed bat from Joe DiMaggio. While exchanging some final pleasantries, Larry loses his cell phone connection. Lewis expects a call back, but Larry doesn’t think it’s necessary. I wouldn’t call back. Guys don’t need to hear the “goodbye.” I’d be fine if everyone finished their conversations by saying, “end.”

Sure enough, Maureen and her mother interpret the wet portrait of Jesus as a miracle. Maureen informs Jerry and Larry that she is quitting in order to devote her life to Jesus. Larry knows what’s up: I think every erection is a miracle.

At a local Italian restaurant, Larry orders a sandwich and jams a bunch of napkins into the to-go bag. The owner limits all his customers to two napkins and instructs Larry to return the extras. When the owner’s back is turned, Larry takes them anyway. Unfortunately, he’s pulled over by a cop who had heard of the “theft.” Larry is taken to the police station and is forced to stand in a line-up. Apparently, all bald men do look alike as the owner can’t distinguish Larry from another bald man, who is African American.

Larry is late in meeting up with Maureen and her mother. He was supposed to co-sign on the RV papers so they could travel across the country on their religious mission. Maureen’s mother has let him drive her deceased husband’s car. On the road, Larry notices Richard, and honks at him to pull over. Naturally, she starts to panic. When Richard takes out the DiMaggio bat — his gift to Larry — she rams him with the car. Don’t worry, Richard is fine.

It is the final scene which is bit too wacky for my taste. Larry can’t get back into the studio to use the bathroom, so he is forced to pee outside. When Maureen and her mom show up to grab some things from the office, they instantly hear the strange noise. They follow the sound and discover Larry hosing down a bush. A wayward drop smacks Maureen in the face and it’s a thing of beauty. The family quickly realizes what happened with the Jesus portrait. Of course, Larry pissed on Jesus.

The unstable mother can’t take it. She somehow gets on the roof and walks to the ledge. Larry and Maureen also scale the building, despite their physical misgivings. Larry saves the mother, but loses his balance in the process. He fumbles over the side of the building, but latches onto something. It’s Maureen’s stomach.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, TV, TV Comedies

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