Category: TV (Page 157 of 595)

Dancing with the Stars 9.11 — Round Five Results Show

October 21, 2009 /

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Each team exceeded my expectations last night. The judges were the most generous they had been in weeks. For the first time all season, nobody received a score under 20.

Tonight’s results show will feature a tribute to Michael Jackson, which will be a bonus if you’ve never seen the professional dancers strut their stuff.

With last night’s powerful dance, Donny Osmond rose to the top of the leader board after receiving a 29 for his Argentine tango. Len Goodman has asked that Donny and Kym tango once more. Osmond’s progressing at the same pace as Mark Dacascos and I expect both of them to be in the final four.

I feel like I haven’t seen Norah Jones in at least 15 years. But here she is, playing a moody organ over a downtempo jazz beat. I’d like to date a cute female musician who sings beautifully and wears nice dresses.

I don’t know what dolts are calling in and voting. How could Micahel Irvin get more votes than Natalie Coughlin? I mean, does anybody notice how hot she is? No, really, she’s a way better dancer.

Norah Jones plays guitar, too. She’s actually pulling off some pretty sweet licks. “Come Away with Me” is one of her hits, but this is the first time I’ve heard it. It’s not half bad.

This “tribute in dance” to Michael Jackson is fun. It seems impossible to put something like this together in a week. On top of this big choreographed performance, the professionals also had to practice not one, but two routines for the previous night’s show. Whatever. I’m sure they get paid more than enough.

America, you are one giant idiot. How the hell did Aaron Carter and Natalie Coughlin wind up on that podium? The judges are shocked as well. Natalie quickly became one of my favorites, and not just because she’s extremely pretty. She’s easily the second-best dancer in this competition. Also, she’s gracious, kind, and really wants to be there. So, Michael Irvin, Melissa Joan Hart, and Kelly Osbourne are better dancers than Aaron Carter and Natalie Coughlin? Really? Fools. I’m going to be extremely disappointed if Natalie is sent home.

Natalie just got screwed. So stupid.

This show is a joke.

Reality TV, TV, TV Reality

Sons of Anarchy 2.7 – Gilead

October 20, 2009 /

Kurt Sutter announced on his Twitter page a few days ago that tonight’s episode was his favorite to date, and I’m not really sure why. (He claims he’s a big fan of the HBO drama, “Oz.”) It wasn’t a bad episode, but when compared to the rest of the season, it just felt a little flat. Part of that had to do with the fact that not a whole lot really happened, especially when you consider that all three storylines were dealing with the same thing: getting SAMCRO out of prison. Forced to hang out in the San Joaquin County Correctional Facility while they await their hearing (which has been conveniently delayed), the Sons are quick to proposition their fellow black prison mates for protection when they discover that the LOAN-affiliated skinheads have orders to kill them.

Getting protection is easier said than done, however, as the leader of the black gang requests two favors from Clay before he’ll even think about putting the lives of his guys on the line. The first is handled quite easily (and humorously) when Juice lures one of their enemies into a private area with the promise of a little Latino loving, only for the black gang to jump him and beat the dude to a pulp. The second favor requires Clay to reach outside the prison gates to Opie for help in framing a Chinese tranny snitch (say that five times fast) that screwed over one of their soon-to-be prison pals. But after he pays off the club’s police friend and plants a shitload of drugs in the target’s car, the tranny shoots the cop and gets away. With Juice already in the medical ward after getting a shiv to the back and the others only hours away from getting stabbed themselves, things are starting to look dim when ATF Agent Stahl makes a surprise visit.

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She’s come to see Clay in prison with a proposition of her own: give up SAMCRO’s IRA connection in exchange for their release. Clay flat-out refuses, but when she suggests that she speak to Jax instead (dropping a hint that she knows all about their heated feud), it severely pisses him off. Within seconds of returning to his cell, Clay and Jax are engaged in an all-out brawl, and though Clay is certainly bigger and stronger, I have to admit that Jax certainly held his own. At least, he came out of the fight the least for wear. Still, although Jax and Clay remain at each other’s throats, Jax gives Agent Stahl the same answer, but only after he deconstructs her entire interrogation technique and then indirectly threatens her by asking about Agent Kohn’s whereabouts. Sly bastard, that Jax.

When all was said and done, however, the Sons were able to post bail with the help of Elliot, who finally agreed to let Gemma borrow the $300,000 after she practically begged him for it. He certainly owes the club that much after they castrated the carnie who raped his daughter and then stopped Jacob Hale from forcing him to sell his land. Still, I can’t help but wonder what the point of this episode was if they’re just going to walk away from it without anyone ever mentioning it again. I mean, it’s not like any judge is just going to give them a slap on the wrist and set them free, so how exactly will the Sons get out of this mess once and for all? My guess? Jax will eventually succumb to Agent Stahl’s pressure and give up the IRA in trade for their freedom. After all, it’s not like they’re going to want to do business with those Irish bastards any more after they practically stabbed them in the back. Let’s hope not, anyway.

Sons of Anarchy, TV, TV Dramas

Dancing with the Stars 9.10 — Round Five

October 20, 2009 /

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My hometown team just suffered an excruciating loss to the Philadelphia Phillies. This day started out wonderful and now I’m contemplating turning on the heater, sipping some Jameson, putting on a Sam Cooke record, and drifting off to sleep. I’m depressed and I need a remedy. Should I turn to “Dancing with the Stars” for support? Of course I shouldn’t, but it’s about to get started so I have no choice.

I have very little patience right now. Now that I’m familiar with the show, I seriously doubt that Aaron Carter is going to raise my spirits. Len Goodman better be funny and Joanna Krupa better be wearing something illegal. Ladies and gentleman, it’s “Dancing with the Stars!”

Team Dances

Natalie Coughlin with Alex Mazo (paso doble)

Is someone watching over me? Natalie Couglin is the first dance of the night! To whoever pulls the strings: thank you.

Does anybody else hate the costumes they have to wear? Sometimes I wish they just danced in their street clothes. A team’s overall body language, which enhances the characters, is far more effective. The costumes are just cheesy.

As for this dance, it was up to Natalie’s caliber. I’m not sure why the judges are so critical every time she performs. They still give her high scores, but they never seem very enthusiastic. Maybe it’s because they know she’ll move on regardless and hope she’ll take their criticism to heart.

Aaron Carter with Karina Smirnoff (Argentine tango)

The legwork was on point. The judges are raving about this one. I thought he looked too stiff, but I guess that’s what the Argentine tango is all about.

Michael Irvin with Anna Demadova (paso doble)

Finally, he didn’t suck. Aside from his robotic stutter at the end, Michael was actually engaging. I predicted he would be the next to go — now I’m not so sure.

Mya with Dmitry Chaplin (Argentine tango)

Every week, Mya glides across the dance floor with ease. She performs with confidence and rarely makes a mistake. Obviously, since the male is supposed to lead, it’s hard to compare her with the professional females. She does tend to neglect any intimacy with her partner, but she has time to hone that part. Her and Natalie are still the favorites.

Mark Dacascos with Lacey Schwimmer (paso doble)

Like the judges, I didn’t see any mistakes. I was just a bit bored by the whole thing. The judges thought Dacascos exuded an intensity that I didn’t see. With these scores, he just became the favorite on the male side.

Donny Osmond with Kym Johnson (Argentine tango)

Like Mya, Natalie, and Mark, Donny seems to spend hours practicing. You can see it in his footwork. He’s just sharp.

Everyone’s improving.

Louie Vito with Chelsie Hightower (Argentine tango)

After dropping down the leader board last week, they certainly rebounded with this routine. They created a story, which most of the other dancers avoid or forget to include. This team deserves to stay.

Melissa Joan Hart with Mark Ballas (paso doble)

She’s been playing catch up since Round Two. She finally had her breakthrough dance last week, so she really need to keep up that progress. Unfortunately, she lost her step quite a few times.

What? The judges gave her a score of 23?

Kelly Osbourne with Louis Van Amstel (paso doble)

They’re dancing to “Crazy Train” by Kelly’s father. When she gets nervous, she tends to destroy a dance’s entire mystique. I can’t understand the high scores. I like Kelly, but I thought this dance was seriously lacking.

Joanna Krupa with Maksim Chmerkovskiy (Argentine tango)

Joanna’s usual parter, Derek, is out with the flu, so Max is taking his place. They did commit one obvious mistake, but the judges don’t seem to care. I’m not sure why they’re being so nice tonight.

Group Dance

Everybody from tonight’s competition is participating in a monster hustle, popularized by the 70s chart-topper, “The Hustle.” Since the judges won’t have a say, the celebrities are letting loose.

Michael Irvin looked hilarious and, as always, Mya and Natalie Coughlin were great.

I honestly have no idea who’s going to get eliminated next as nobody was terrible. Anyway, we’ll discuss the results show in a few hours.

Reality TV, TV, TV Reality

Curb Your Enthusiasm 7.5 — Denise Handicapped

October 19, 2009 /

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So far, this has been the funniest episode of the new season. All the actors were great, the story lines were solid, and the ideas behind the jokes were eerily funny. I’ve been entertained by this season’s previous episodes, but I’ve always managed to take issue with a plot point. “Denise Handicapped” had none of these cracks.

At a local coffee shop, Larry meets an attractive woman named Denise and they begin conversing over their mutual adoration of the violinist, Chi-Yun. Larry is attending a party were she is performing and they agree to see each other before then. Denise glides away from the table, revealing her disability. She’s in a wheelchair; Larry is in a pickle.

While out to lunch with Jeff and Rosie O’Donnell, Larry tries to pay for the meal. It looks like we have another check dispute on our hands. Unlike the verbal exchange with Jason Alexander, Rosie and Larry get physical. The scene ends with Rosie manhandling Larry’s feeble frame.

Naturally, Larry and Denise’s first date doesn’t go so well. After carrying her up a flight of stairs, their dinner conversation is awkward at best. Still, Denise invites Larry back up to her apartment later in the night. Backed into a corner, Larry accepts. When they begin getting intimate, Larry is at an absolute loss. He fumbles around like a blind basketball player while she remains completely stationary. They gradually make their way to the bedroom where Larry once again aims to please. Denise is unsatisfied throughout his whole performance, leaving Larry suspicious. Does she feel nothing because she’s disabled from the waist down, or because Larry is awful in bed? This is a classic “Curb” dilemma.

Back at his house, Larry picks up a message from the couple that is hosting the Chi-Yun concert. They don’t want Larry to come because of the unsavory comments he made about their adopted Chinese baby. Now that he can’t go to the performance, there’s no reason to continue seeing Denise. He seeks advice from the almighty Leon:

Leon: You did your dizzle on her, right?
Larry: Yeah, I did my dizzle.
Leon: That means you did your f’in thing. Bring the f’in ruckus to that ass, Larry.
Larry: Oh, I suppose you think you could’ve gotten a response?
Leon: You God damn right, Larry.
Larry: Bullsh*t.
Leon: I would’ve had that ass tap dancing, Larry. I don’t f*ck around. Give me her God damn number. I’ll go over there and twist that ass up, Larry. I’d bang that b*tch like Beckham.

Larry takes Denise to a nice restaurant in order to break up with her. However, his motives quickly change as he realizes the perks of dating a handicapped individual. They score a great parking spot and receive preferential treatment during their entire meal. On their “stroll and roll” after eating, they bump into the couple that disinvited them to the concert. Noticing Larry’s contrived sense of good character, they rescind their actions. Larry could get used to this.

Later in the episode, Larry, Jeff, and Suzie try to enjoy a day at the beach. When Suzie forces Jeff to go on a romantic walk, she asks Larry to look after their daughter, Sammy, who is playing in the ocean. At the drop of dime, Sammy begins to drown. Larry, ever the hero, begins his rescue mission. However, before saving the girl, he repeatedly tries to make sure his Blackberry is shielded from harm. By the time Larry is ready, Jeff has already retrieved his daughter. Suzie can immediately sense what really transpired. She heaves Larry’s Blackberry into the ocean, causing him to lose Denise’s number.

Larry and Leon decide to search for Denise’s house. Of course, it’s a fruitless task. Leon soon spots another woman in a wheelchair making her way down the sidewalk. Larry assumes that she must know Denise because they both, ahem, use a wheelchair. The woman, Wendy, is offended at first, but eventually warms up to Larry’s ridiculousness. Wendy also enjoys Chi-Yun, so Larry idiotically invites her to the concert.

The final scene is an outright catastrophe. Even though Larry never contacted her, Denise decided to attend. Wendy and Denise eventually meet and are naturally infuriated with Larry. The episode closes with Larry fleeing his two dates and Rosie O’Donnell. As with “The Hot Towel,” this episode ends with Larry facing an eventual bludgeoning.

We haven’t seen the cast of “Seinfeld” for some time now, but they’ll be back next week.

Curb Your Enthusiasm, TV, TV Comedies

The Next Iron Chef: Asian re-creation

October 19, 2009 /

Last night on Food Network’s “The Next Iron Chef,” the contestants were asked to re-create a few different Asian dishes that were the signatures of various hot spots in the Los Angeles area. The chairman hand-picked these restaurants and dishes, and since chef Mullen won the previous challenge, he was allowed to pick his teammate and the other teams, as well as choose which of the four cuisines/dishes they would be re-creating.

He chose chef Appleman as his teammate, and the two of them had to re-invent a Korean hot pot dish, which has all sorts of meat and vegetables over rice. Chefs Trevino and Farmerie were paired up and had to make two kinds of Chinese dumplings–pork, and vegetable. Garces and Crenn were assigned to remake Vietnamese pho soup. And Mehta and Freitag had to make Thai green curry with fish balls (heh heh, I said fish balls).

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External TV, Reality TV, The Next Iron Chef, TV

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