Tired of “Dancing with the Stars” getting all the spotlight? I understand.
I hope Zach Galifianakis never stops this series.
Author: Christopher Glotfelty (Page 4 of 17)
The finals take place next Monday, pitting three teams against each other. After 19 introspective weeks of watching this show, I think I’m going to throw a party – a party just for myself. During the season finale, I’ll toss back some cheap whiskey (only the finest), put some Neil Young on the record player, grab some Chinese take-out, and maybe even watch some funny YouTube videos. Sorry, you’re not invited.
It’s elimination time!
We have the dancers from the upcoming movie “Nine.” I don’t know much about “Nine,” but I doubt my buddies and I are going to drop everything to see it on a Friday night. Flash forward 30 years and I’m probably sitting alone on my couch watching this movie, wondering where it all went wrong.
This show has forced me to confront mainstream musicians I would never give the time of day. A few weeks back, Norah Jones took the stage and impressed the hell out me. Now we have Alicia Keys — another talented musician and singer. I hope she writes these songs.
On the other hand, pretty women who are above-average guitar and piano players might just easily impress me. If Taylor Swift ever learns to bust out a solo, I’ll go nuts.
Man, how many guests are they having on tonight? Leona Lewis sounds too much like Alicia Keys, whom we just saw. Let’s have some diversity! Where’s Weird Al when you need him?
Holy smokes — Donny and Kym are going to the finals. Middle-aged women must have flooded the phone lines to keep Donny alive.
I wish the Bee Gees had chosen a different song, particularly a cut from their album Horizontal. Ozzy Osbourne looked completely confused watching their performance. Ha!
Up on the elimination block, Joanna seemed to know that she was going home. Her and Derek are now dancing a Viennese waltz, directly after finding out the results. The contestants are usually heartbroken after losing. Not Joanna. She obviously outperformed Kelly last night, so maybe she’s just happy she doesn’t have to learn any more routines.
We are down to the final four couples and I’m already fantasizing about how I’ll spend my Monday nights after they crown a champion. Will I take up bowling? Will I go on a weekly jog? Will I practice more guitar scales? Or will I just go to bed earlier? These are my fantasies.
To the delight of millions, a new season of “Dancing with the Stars” will probably begin shortly after this one. With my luck, next season will have twenty “stars.”
Each of the four remaining couples will perform three dances tonight. This has never been done in the history of the show. Kelly, Mya, and Joanna should be fine given their ages. I’m just concerned about Donny. He always looks exhausted after one dance — I don’t know how he can handle three. He’ll be able to memorize the routines, but his execution might be a tad grueling during his final dance.
Dance #1
Donny Osmond with Kym Johnson (tango)
Donny is unable to make a dance serious. Every time he tires to play up the masculinity, his footwork suffers. This dance was all over the place. Sorry to say, Chuck Liddell could have done better.
Joanna Krupa with Derek Hough (Viennese waltz)
I want to know who does this song. It reminds me of Gram Parsons in a weird way.
Yep, they did a great job. It wasn’t very romantic or anything — it just seemed “standard” and sometimes that’s all the judges want. Also, they’re finally starting to seem like a team.
What? The Bee Gees are going to be on tomorrow? I don’t care who wins anymore. I just want to see the Gibbs!
Kelly Osbourne with Louis Van Amstel (rumba)
Kelly’s routines always feel as though they’re dipped in tar. Focusing tremendously on the steps, she moves a bit slower than the other performers. Still, unlike Len Goodman, I think this was her best dance of the season. She moved with grace and brought a sense of character to this rumba.
Mya with Dmitry Chaplin (waltz)
Honestly, I can never find any of Mya’s mistakes. The judges are even on her side now. She’ll probably face Joanna in the finals, but Mya deserves praise for her performance over the entire season. As far as I’m concerned, she steals the show every week.
Dance #2
Donny Osmond with Kym Johnson (samba)
This dance of theirs definitely of topped the one from earlier. When Donny finds a groove, it’s almost impossible for him to make a mistake.
At this point, I’m not positive whether or not Donny can astound the judges with his final dance of the night. He should choose a faster dance, even if he’s tired.
Joanna Krupa with Derek Hough (cha cha cha)
Joanna’s sister, Marta, is a babe. I just wanted to get that out of the way. Come to think of it, the producer should nab her for next season.
Why do the celebrities sometimes mouth the song’s lyrics when they perform? Is it to help them keep time? The pros never do it. It’s just distracting.
Anyway, this routine must have only been 30 seconds. She seems very confident out there. Also, she uses her face in a way the other dancers have yet to master. Joanna looks at the camera and smirks, drawing the attention away from her footwork. It’s a smart tactic.
Kelly Osbourne with Louis Van Amstel (quick step)
Has Kelly lost 15 pounds over the last three months? She wasn’t even chubby to begin with, but she’s is in tremendous shape now.
I like this song, “99 Red Balloons.” I forget who sang it originally, but I’ve heard a bunch of cover versions.
Wow. Kelly actually got technical with this one. Louis almost dropped her at the end, but that was a minor blip.
Mya with Dmitry Chaplin (salsa)
There are numerous reasons why Mya should make it to the finals, but I often forget to watch how well the she works with her partner. Mya and Dmitry are constantly on the same wavelength. It’s almost as if Mya will never stumble or fall out of rhythm because Dmitry can anticipate her every step.
Len Goodman, you horny bastard. Here’s what he just said:
“I was mesmerized by your buttocks. I couldn’t stop looking — I’ve gotta be honest here.”
Ha!
Dance #3
These are the couples’ “knockout dances.” Each of the teams chose their own music and genre. Thus, they should nail their performance.
Donny Osmond with Kym Johnson (jitterbug)
Carrie Ann is right — Donny needed this dance to be good. I thought Donny was going to bomb, but he came through. The choreography was interesting as well.
Joanna Krupa with Derek Hough (salsa)
They should have picked a slower dance. The judges are probably tired of all the shaking and jumping (I still appreciate it).
Actually, they’ll be fine. This dance was excellent. Kelly is really going to have to blow us away if she wants to find herself in the finals. As of right now, it’s Mya and Joanna, no question.
Kelly Osbourne with Louis Van Amstel (cha cha cha)
Did they only dance for three seconds? She was really sharp and smiled the whole way through. She actually might make it the finals. If she does, she can thank the voters at home.
Mya with Dmitry Chaplin (cha cha cha)
Obviously, they killed it. That flip thing Dmitry did at the end was cool.
I guess three couples make it to the finals, which doesn’t quite make sense. I think Donny is done.
Larry David doesn’t care about transcending the real world for the sake of perverse comedy. (Note: I said perverse comedy. Larry is reaching into more unsavory realms this season.) Since the show is filmed like a home video and the characters speak like you and I, we as an audience often attempt to relate to the plots. Nevertheless, as much as we push to find the realism in “Curb Your Enthusiasm” — as close as we get to thinking, I would do the same thing! — Larry can effortlessly shatter the correlation.
So, when Larry’s casting director casually informs him that her daughter has “a rash on her pussy,” we know we’re visiting another universe. As the episode carries on, Larry repeatedly receives text message from Emma, the little girl. Try as he may to end the correspondence, Larry is deterred by her persistence and cuteness. When Larry visits his doctor (because of a rash he likely got from Emma), we fully appreciate our view from home.
Doctor: Well, do you have any idea how you may have gotten this rash?
Larry: I’ve been seeing this nine year-old girl and she kinda has a rash on her pussy. Uh, I took her to lunch the other day and we had a fight. We made up and we hugged. It’s gotta be her.
(Larry receives a text.)
Larry: Yeah, that’s her now.
Doctor: Her.
Larry: She’s so cute. We text all the time. For a while we weren’t but we’re back on now, so…
The doctor tells his assistant to call the police. Larry’s performance in the doctor’s office was perfect and will go down as one of my favorite scenes from “Curb.” His maniacal laughter at the end over the closing credits is priceless.
Thankfully, this episode of “Curb” finally gets the “Seinfeld” reunion off the ground. We watch as the cast rehearses the fictional reunion. This was a true joy as the script actually sounded really funny. Of course, there are some problems on the set — problems similar to the ones the real Larry David probably encountered while shooting his old show. Julia Louis-Dreyfus and Jason Alexander immediately question Cheryl’s acting credentials; Marty Funkhauser shows up uninvited and tells Jerry a filthy joke; during the table read, Jason Alexander molests a pen he borrowed from Larry. This all happens in the opening scene and unravels at a comfortable pace over the next 36 minutes. Yes, this episode is quite a bit longer than most. Since “The Table Read” is so focused on the construction of the reunion, the weaker storylines are excusable. This serves as a reminder that “Curb Your Enthusiasm” is indeed a show about Larry David. Thus, his disagreements with the maitre d’ and Emma were vital.
I’ve previously pointed out that Larry is in practically every scene from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” I closely examine those rare instances when he’s absent as the show briefly takes a detour from Larry’s brilliantly preculiar point of view. Although the scenes feel unhinged without his presence, they’re a breath of fresh air. With that in mind, Michael Richards and Leon deserve a bulk of the credit for making “The Table Read” a great episode.
We suspected Larry David would incorporate Richards’ mistake from three years ago, when Richards insulted an African American heckler during his comedy routine. I don’t know why I never thought Leon would get involved.
But I’m happy he did as the results were hysterical. In the opening scene, Michael tells Larry that he’s contracted the fictional Groat’s Disease. He’s worried that it will affect his performance. In response, Larry tries to set up a meeting with an accountant named Danny Duberstein, a longtime Groat’s Disease sufferer. Unfortunately, Duberstein has died from Groat’s, so Larry looks to Leon for help. He wants Leon to visit Michael and pretend to be Duberstein.
Later in the episode, Leon, dressed more like Louis Farrakhan from the Nation of Islam than a Jewish accountant, manages to convince Michael that he’ll be fine. It doesn’t take too long for Michael to discover that Leon is full of crap. Confronting Leon, Michael has every right to be angry, but he stops short of using any harsh insults because of his past. As various onlookers remove their cell phones to capture a potential meltdown, Michael departs in a frenzy.
Shortly after Michael Richards’ real-life scandal, he apologized on “Letterman” and spent weeks groveling in front of the African American community. That’s all but forgotten now and I don’t really know how people currently feel about this talented actor. Nevertheless, last night’s episode of “Curb” gave audiences a glimpse at the repercussions of Richards’ outburst. He can never screw up again and must always be on his toes. Isn’t that punishment enough? Given his willingness to skewer his own troublesome past on “Curb,” he’s obviously moving in the right direction. He has Larry David to thank for that.
As “The Jay Leno Show, “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien,” and “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” continue to slip in the ratings, “The Late Show with David Letterman,” “The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson,” and “Jimmy Kimmel Live” are pulling in new fans.
Per The New York Times:
In the weeknight late-night standings, Craig Ferguson of CBS hit a milestone. He beat “Late Night” on NBC for the first time in that 18-to-49 audience; that show is now hosted by Jimmy Fallon. Jimmy Kimmel of ABC also managed a tie with “Late Night” in that group for the first time.
David Letterman again easily dominated the “Tonight Show With Conan O’Brien” on NBC among total viewers, 3.9 million to 2.3 million. But again Mr. O’Brien fared better with younger viewers, beating Mr. Letterman among viewers 18 to 34 and tying him with a 0.9 rating among those between 18 and 49. Mr. Letterman won the other important ad-sales group, those between 25 and 54, easily.
Per Variety:
Another latenight talker gaining ground on NBC is ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live,” which last week drew a larger 18-49 audience than NBC’s “Late Night With Jimmy Fallon” for the first time (720,000 vs. 712,000) while also prevailing in total viewers (1.70 million to 1.26 million). Kimmel’s Thursday, featuring Elizabeth Mitchell of “V” and Jesse Williams of “Grey’s Anatomy,” drew the show’s largest nightly audience since June (2.02 million).
Congratulations to Craig Ferguson, who’s show feels like it’s taped in his parents’ basement. He doesn’t have a band, a sidekick, a comfortable set, or a hefty budget. He looks carelessly at the audience and speaks in a stream of hilarity — sometimes he’s just playing with puppets. His audience doesn’t tune in for the celebrities — they tune in for him.
NBC needs to think of something quick.
FOLLOW US!
CATEGORIES
© 2023 Premium Hollywood
Theme by Anders Noren — Up ↑