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The finals take place next Monday, pitting three teams against each other. After 19 introspective weeks of watching this show, I think I’m going to throw a party – a party just for myself. During the season finale, I’ll toss back some cheap whiskey (only the finest), put some Neil Young on the record player, grab some Chinese take-out, and maybe even watch some funny YouTube videos. Sorry, you’re not invited.

It’s elimination time!

We have the dancers from the upcoming movie “Nine.” I don’t know much about “Nine,” but I doubt my buddies and I are going to drop everything to see it on a Friday night. Flash forward 30 years and I’m probably sitting alone on my couch watching this movie, wondering where it all went wrong.

This show has forced me to confront mainstream musicians I would never give the time of day. A few weeks back, Norah Jones took the stage and impressed the hell out me. Now we have Alicia Keys — another talented musician and singer. I hope she writes these songs.

On the other hand, pretty women who are above-average guitar and piano players might just easily impress me. If Taylor Swift ever learns to bust out a solo, I’ll go nuts.

Man, how many guests are they having on tonight? Leona Lewis sounds too much like Alicia Keys, whom we just saw. Let’s have some diversity! Where’s Weird Al when you need him?

Holy smokes — Donny and Kym are going to the finals. Middle-aged women must have flooded the phone lines to keep Donny alive.

I wish the Bee Gees had chosen a different song, particularly a cut from their album Horizontal. Ozzy Osbourne looked completely confused watching their performance. Ha!

Up on the elimination block, Joanna seemed to know that she was going home. Her and Derek are now dancing a Viennese waltz, directly after finding out the results. The contestants are usually heartbroken after losing. Not Joanna. She obviously outperformed Kelly last night, so maybe she’s just happy she doesn’t have to learn any more routines.