Another week, another victim on “Harper’s Island.” As usual, we won’t spoil the person’s identity for those who haven’t watched the episode yet, but, man, you should’ve seen the look on their face right before they got what was coming to them. And if you didn’t see it…well, it’s a little late now. (You’ll have to watch the episode to understand why that’s funny.)
Let’s head on over to the interview, shall we…?
– NBC wants shorter seasons from “Heroes,” according to AdAge.com. The network is looking for 18 to 20 episodes instead of the usual 25, with fewer in-season breaks. I’m all for shorter seasons, as shorter usually equals better.
– ABC has renewed “Lost,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” — no surprises there — “Brothers & Sisters,” “Desperate Housewives,” “Ugly Betty” and “Private Practice,” but “Cupid,” “Better Off Ted,” “Castle,” “Scrubs,” “Samantha Who?” and “The Unusuals” are still in limbo. TV.com thinks that “Castle” has the best chance of surviving.
– Television Without Pity lists 10 series that deserve a movie before “CSI.”
– Yahoo TV highlights 16 season finales that are coming up over the next five weeks.
Dear Ms. Hewitt,
Can I call you Jennifer? No? How about Jenny? All right, Ms. Hewitt it is.
Big fan, big fan. Ever since the days of “Party of Five.”
Anyway, on the cover of the latest issue of Maxim, the magazine touts your recent photo shoot as your “sexiest shoot ever.” I quickly flipped through to find your photos, and although I’m not sure what I was expecting, I was a little disappointed. It was probably a little sexier than this Maxim shoot, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the Rolling Stone shoot that produced this wonderful pic.
Qualms aside, I’m writing today to implore you…no, to beg you, once and for all, to unleash the puppies. Much has been written about your ample bosom, and there isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said. Simply stated, they’re spectacular. Or at least we think they are.
Herein lies the problem. You have been understandably reluctant to appear topless in any photo shoots or movies. I get it — you consider yourself a serious actress and you don’t want to sully your craft by appearing nude. But time is wearing thin. You just turned 30 in February and barring some plastic surgery, they’re never going to look quite as good as they do today.
So if you haven’t already, please find a photographer you trust and take some revealing (yet tasteful) photos. Like Jessica Alba’s derrier, your bosom is of monumental historical significance, and it needs to be documented. It is of no concern to me whether you decide to release the pictures now or if you choose to lock the negatives away in a safety deposit box somewhere in Iowa, I will sleep easier just knowing that they’re out there. Then maybe in 10 or 15 years, when your career needs a boost, you can quietly leak them. Even if you decided to wait until you were in your 90’s, I’d be happy to know that future generations would be able to Google “Jennifer Love Hewitt nude” and find something other than poorly Photoshopped fakes.
Who knows, depending on how they turn out, these pictures have the potential to do great things. It’s not inconceivable that the pictures produced from a full shoot could bring peace to the Middle East or even end the proliferation of nuclear weapons.
Don’t you see — you owe it to the world, Ms. Hewitt. Please don’t let us down.
Have you noticed an intoxicating scent of fear and desperation in the air recently? When you catch that scent wafting in from the general direction Hollywood, you know we’ve reached the time when the networks have begun to look very, very seriously at their schedules in order to determine which of the shows that haven’t yet earned pick-up notices for their next season actually deserve those notices. This year, the stench is particularly strong, what with the combination of Jay Leno’s new M-F 10 PM show killing five perfectly good spots for hourlong drama on NBC, the general economic situation, and the American public still not really having much of an interest in watching anything original. Keeping in mind, of course, that when I say “the American public,” I’m not talking about you…
“No, Mum, they haven’t officially canceled ‘Eleventh Hour’ yet. I’ll keep you posted, though, shall I?”
Nellie Andreeva at the Hollywood Reporter has put together a piece where she gives a rundown of what shows are still waiting to find out if they’re going to get a pink slip or a terse note saying, “Yeah, yeah, you’ve got another season, now get your ass back to work,” while Hercules over at Ain’t It Cool News has taken the work out of it for you and simply offered up three succinct lists: Likely To Return, Unlikely to Return, and 50/50.
Taking the “Likely to Return” list – “Ghost Whisperer,” “How I Met Your Mother,” “Law & Order,” “Numb3rs,” “Southland,” and “Ugly Betty” – out of discussion for the moment, I don’t mind telling you that, between the other two lists, it’s highly depressing to see about half of my TiVo Season Passes get cited. (Not mentioned in the Hollywood Reporter piece is “Kings,” but I agree with Herc that it’s probably been left out because its permanent vacation at the end of its Saturday night death slot run is considered a given.) Regular Premium Hollywood readers will already know that our man John Paulsen has been covering the death knell of several of these shows and established his feelings on what he’d be bummed to see depart, but here are the five shows – one per network, so as not to be greedy – that I’d most like to see earn a reprieve from cancellation:
Two full-fledged “comic book” episodes in a row? Has “Heroes” ever managed to pull that off…? If so, it’s been ages. Tonight’s installment may well have been the most successful portrayal of Sylar as a complex villain in the show’s history, revisiting the character’s established mythology in the midst of his new shapeshifting abilities and the curse they bring with them. Plus, c’mon, Clint Howard? Are you kidding me…? The show’s coolness factor just jumped exponentially.
Obviously, Sylar’s storyline has consistently been one of the strongest parts of the “Fugitives” saga, but this took it to new heights. I never would’ve guessed that the path to his mimicry of Nathan would take him on a psychological journey of such magnitude. When he questioned his identity as Agent Taub in the initial moments of the episode, it became clear that he was having some issues dealing with his transformation into other people. You don’t get much more disconcerting, however, than that sequence where he was flip-flopping back and forth from himself to his mother – once again played by Ellen Greene – in order to rationalize her death and his ongoing existence. (I’m sure I wasn’t the only one who felt the echoes of Norman Bates’ relationship with his mother in their discussions, was I?) Given that we’ve seen Sylar’s semi-soft spot with the youth of America in the past, I guess it shouldn’t have been too surprising that he was willing to give li’l Micah a pass. I don’t know how well the kid’s poignant speech will work in the long run, but, hey, it worked long enough to prolong his life for a bit, so that’ll do for now. Zeljko’s constant grumblings through the episode were highly entertaining, and you knew full well that he was eventually going to view Sylar as a loose cannon who couldn’t be controlled and needed to be taken out permanently (which he clearly must’ve known all along, anyway), but the one-two punch of the thrusting of the knife in the back of Sylar’s skull being followed up with Sylar’s brilliant episode-closing line was totally awesome.
Zachary Quinto’s performance this week was tremendous. Sometimes he takes his villainous rantings too far over the top for you to be able to take him seriously, but not this time. This was definitely a well-considered look at a complex character.
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