Category: Humor (Page 25 of 74)

Good yontif, from Hollywood

A lot of the offices around movietown are going to be minus a number of employees a bit early this evening. Tonight is the first night of the most widely celebrated of all Jewish holidays, Passover. (Jewish holidays all start at sundown, just fyi.)

Here’s the thing, we Jews have an issue with holidays. The serious holidays are deliberately intended to be no fun at all, and the fun ones are really minor — even Hanukkah is actually not such a big deal, religiously speaking, and, though latkes are delicious, it’s really not that much of a fun holiday either. Passover is the only that’s both major on the Jewish calendar and also kind of enjoyable and interesting. Still, we’ve sometimes tried to think of ways to make the holiday based on the Book of Exodus even more popular.

They really should have acknowledged Anne Baxter and Yvonne de Carlo. Oh well, happy Pesach. This year, try matzoh with peanut butter and honey if you’ve never. It’s goood.

Beyond “Battlefield Earth”

How would it feel to be the credited writer of the worst movie of the decade? J.D. Shapiro, whose name is on the screenplay for “Battlefield Earth” knows exactly how it feels and he’s written a funny and revealing explanation of just how he came to work on the Razzie winner for the worst movie of the oughts. Let’s just say that this less than ideal career move, like so many bad career moves, began below the belt. You definitely want to read this.

Now, whenever I catch a few minutes of “Battlefield Earth” on cable, it’s not the inane dialogue or the insane visual approach I notice so much as the acting. And it’s not the acting in general so much as one particular performance…

You know, I think we need an instant replay of the key moment from that scene…

Weirdly enough

It’s apparently been making the rounds all day but, while being derided for my lack of expertise in American mainstream cinema of the 1980s, I have just learned that Funny or Die has a trailer up for one biopic of a pop music legend I’d definitely pay to see. And with a cast that includes Aaron Paul, Olivia Wilde, Gary Cole, Academy Award™ winner Mary Steenburgen, and Patton Oswalt, in the role he was born to play — Martin Landau in “Ed Wood” has nothing on this guy — you know you’re in for a memorably powerful, and powerfully memorable, film-going experience.

And now a health lack-of-care movie moment

Since my side seems to have won the health care debate, for tonight anyhow, it’s time to relax and really get off the soapbox I was on, and then off, yesterday.

What follows are some very unhealthy moments in which new and various pre-existing conditions are inflicted on a host of random people, from “the world’s most action-packed movie” (aka, I believe, “Deadly Prey.”) One note, the following contains exteme violence which may disturb people offended by extreme violence but will more likely permanently scar those disturbed by severely inept, and oddly non bloody, fake filmic mayhem.

Thanks for this one, Zayne.

The Star Wars Trilogy, retold by someone who hasn’t seen it

Thanks to Jason Zingale, who found this on YouTube and posted it on Facebook…

My friend Amanda had never seen a whole Star Wars film. When I asked her if she wanted to watch the original trilogy she said that she would, but that she already knew what happens. So I took out my voice recorder and asked her to start from the top.

Hilarious. I want to be friends with Amanda.

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