Author: John Paulsen (Page 15 of 79)

An open letter to Jennifer Love Hewitt

April 22, 2009 /

Dear Ms. Hewitt,

Can I call you Jennifer? No? How about Jenny? All right, Ms. Hewitt it is.

Big fan, big fan. Ever since the days of “Party of Five.”

Anyway, on the cover of the latest issue of Maxim, the magazine touts your recent photo shoot as your “sexiest shoot ever.” I quickly flipped through to find your photos, and although I’m not sure what I was expecting, I was a little disappointed. It was probably a little sexier than this Maxim shoot, but it doesn’t hold a candle to the Rolling Stone shoot that produced this wonderful pic.

Qualms aside, I’m writing today to implore you…no, to beg you, once and for all, to unleash the puppies. Much has been written about your ample bosom, and there isn’t much to say that hasn’t already been said. Simply stated, they’re spectacular. Or at least we think they are.

Herein lies the problem. You have been understandably reluctant to appear topless in any photo shoots or movies. I get it — you consider yourself a serious actress and you don’t want to sully your craft by appearing nude. But time is wearing thin. You just turned 30 in February and barring some plastic surgery, they’re never going to look quite as good as they do today.

So if you haven’t already, please find a photographer you trust and take some revealing (yet tasteful) photos. Like Jessica Alba’s derrier, your bosom is of monumental historical significance, and it needs to be documented. It is of no concern to me whether you decide to release the pictures now or if you choose to lock the negatives away in a safety deposit box somewhere in Iowa, I will sleep easier just knowing that they’re out there. Then maybe in 10 or 15 years, when your career needs a boost, you can quietly leak them. Even if you decided to wait until you were in your 90’s, I’d be happy to know that future generations would be able to Google “Jennifer Love Hewitt nude” and find something other than poorly Photoshopped fakes.

Who knows, depending on how they turn out, these pictures have the potential to do great things. It’s not inconceivable that the pictures produced from a full shoot could bring peace to the Middle East or even end the proliferation of nuclear weapons.

Don’t you see — you owe it to the world, Ms. Hewitt. Please don’t let us down.

Actresses, External Entertainment, External TV, Humor, TV, TV Dramas

Cast changes have hurt “Reno 911!”

April 21, 2009 /

Wendi McLendon-Covey (Clementine), Mary Birdsong (Dep. Kimball) and Carlos Alazraqui (Dep. Garcia) are out, Joe Lo Truglio and Ian Roberts are in. Nothing against the new guys, but I miss Clemmy, Kimball and Garcia.

It has been tough to find out why “Reno 911!” is seemingly ruining a good thing, but McLendon-Covey posted this on her MySpace blog:

Since you asked….
Hi everyone!
Recently I’ve been asked the same questions over and over, so I thought I’d better just address the subject here so I don’t have to keep writing individual messages about it.
No, I’m not on Reno 911 anymore. No, I didn’t leave on my own. No, I didn’t see it coming. No, I wasn’t the only one who was dismissed. No, it wasn’t because we weren’t doing a good job – in this business you don’t necessarily get hired because you’re good, and you don’t necessarily get let go because you’re bad.
Yes, I was on the set of THE OFFICE when I found out.
Yes, I was disappointed at first, but as Sophia Loren used to say, “Don’t cry over anything that won’t cry over you.” Five seasons and a movie was a good run, and I’m surprised that it lasted that long. I’m grateful to have been a part of the show but believe me, it was really time to move on and play other types of weird women – maybe someone who wears a turtleneck!
We wrapped season 5 in April of 2007, so I’ve been away from the show for 2 years. It’s a distant, bittersweet memory now.
So thanks to all of you for liking my character! Thanks for being so sweet to me.
xoxoxoxox, Wendi

As for the newcomers, here’s what the show’s wiki page has on them…

Season six newcomers Joe Lo Truglio and Ian Roberts are no strangers to Reno 911. Both appeared as guest stars in past seasons, and both also appeared in Reno 911: Miami. As a member of “The State”, Lo Truglio is an old friend of the 3 creators and has worked with them on numerous projects. Roberts is a founding member of the popular Upright Citizens Brigade improv comedy troupe, who had their own Comedy Central sketch show from 1998-2000.

I miss the dynamic between Garcia and Dep. Jones, the questions about Dep. Kimball’s true sexuality and pretty much everything about Clemmy. I’m not sure what prompted the changes; in the case of Lo Truglio, it might be nepotism given that he is old friends with the creators. The additions have made the cast less diverse and it’s affecting the overall vibe.

External Entertainment, External TV, Humor, TV, TV Comedies

TV Roundup: Poor ratings for Prison Break, TiVo’s ratings plans and more

April 20, 2009 /

– The ratings for the return of “Prison Break” were poor, and TV By The Numbers says that it’s bad news for “Dollhouse.”

– One of my favorite shows, “The Unit,” is on the bubble, but the good news is that producer Shawn Ryan (“The Shield”) has been invited by CBS to present ideas for a fifth season.

– The NY Post says that Mary Louise Parker is thinking about leaving “Weeds” after next season.

– FOX’s “Sit Down, Shut Up” didn’t do all that well (ratings-wise) in its debut on Sunday, considering it was sandwich between stalwarts “The Simpsons” and “Family Guy.” I’m a fan of both of those shows, but I couldn’t make it through a full episode of “Sit Down, Shut Up.”

– TiVo is continuing to move into Nielsen’s territory. They’ve been offering national ratings since 2007, but now plan to provide market-by-market ratings as well. It makes sense — the TiVo is essentially a computer that can track what a household watches (if they choose to opt-in).

– Variety compares “Heroes” to “Lost” in that both programs started off really strong before faltering a bit. The question is — will “Heroes” find its way like “Lost” did? (Methinks maybe an end date two or three seasons down the line would do the trick.)

External Entertainment, External TV, Lost, News, Prison Break, Reviews, TV, TV Action, TV Anime, TV Cartoons, TV Comedies, TV Dramas

Prison Break 4.17: “The Mother Lode”

April 18, 2009 /

Get it? “The Mother Lode”? Because Michael and Lincoln’s mother is trying to take over the Company.

Clever.

Anyhoo, “Prison Break” is back and I truly wonder if anyone cares. As I was watching this episode, my mind wandered a few times. I wasn’t thinking about anything important, mind you, just a few chores that I have to do around the house. Wash the dishes, take out the garbage, find Scylla…oh wait, I’m supposed to be paying attention to “Prison Break.”

From TV.com’s episode list, it appears that we now have seven hours left, and at this point that seems like a lot of time to fill. But let’s recap (and correct me if I’m wrong):

1. Lincoln, Don, T-Bag and Mahone are in Miami trying to track down Scylla. (Full disclosure: I actually forgot Mahone’s name and had to go to IMDB.com to look it up. How long has it been since the show has been on the air?) They are motivated by the Company’s threats on their loved ones.

2. Christina — Lincoln and Michale’s mom — has Scylla hidden somewhere in greater Miami. She’s trying to take over the Company and claims to have altruistic goals. In short, she claims to be a “good guy,” but when she gives the go-ahead for her sniper to take a shot at Linc, it seems that she’s not so good.

3. Michael and Sara are running around the Arizona/New Mexico/Texas desert. I’m not sure how much treatment Michael received or if his health is still an issue, but there weren’t any nosebleeds in this episode. The truck they were riding in was hijacked by a guy who died just after telling them that he didn’t work for the Company (but didn’t tell them who he does work for, though I’m sure we’re supposed to assume that he works for Christina). How convenient that he would die just before revealing this information…

4. Scylla isn’t a weapon, it’s the secret to unlimited renewable energy.

5. Sucre is off doing God knows what. Gretchen is (supposedly) on her way to jail.

Are we caught up? I hope so.

Christina wants Lincoln to back off for two days so that she has time to remove the General and take over the Company, but based on what Don, Mahone and T-Bag found at the church (guns and access cards), they don’t trust her and that’s why Lincoln returned to the plaza. Understandably, they’re worried about what the Company might do to their loved ones if they don’t retrieve Scylla.

I’m not sure where this is all headed, and I guess that’s a good thing.

External Entertainment, External TV, Prison Break, TV, TV Action, TV Dramas

“24” moving to New York City

April 16, 2009 /

The city so nice they named it twice is about to get a taste of a little Jack Bauer, according to EW.com.

Sources confirm to me exclusively that 24 will be relocating to New York next season — at least on screen. (The show will still be primarily shot in Los Angeles, with some NY location footage mixed in.)

Production on Day 8 gets underway next month, but already details are emerging. In addition to the move to the Big Apple, CTU will make a comeback under the leadership of a new, yet-to-be-cast male character by the name of Brian Hastings. Described as an MBA type with a razor sharp intellect, Hastings will be joined by two new twentysomething agents (one male, one female), as well as Mary Lynn Rajskub’s returning Chloe.

New York City has been pretty ignored in the world of “24,” as a show about terrorist strikes in the Big Apple probably hit a little too close to home. The producers have apparently deemed it the right time to make the move.

24, External Entertainment, External TV, News, TV, TV Action, TV Dramas

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