Last night’s episode of “The Biggest Loser” began with Ashley, Mike and Daris saying that they were now the larger alliance with Koli and Sunshine now not having their teammates there. Koli was pissed, saying they should have voted Mike off because he was a way bigger threat than Sam. But then host Alison Sweeney delivered the news that would send a shock wave through the final five–there would be no yellow line this week, only a red line. That meant whoever fell below that line would be going home this week. And what a great way to break up the alliances and thwart the game play!
To the contestants on “American Idol,” if you’ve made it to this week’s Final Four, you’re either on the verge of winning it all, or of being a pretender and fading into the show’s collective oblivion soon. Mentor Jamie Foxx signified as much when he had t-shirts made up that said “contestant” and “artist,” and told each one of them that they had to earn their artist shirt this week to prove they are ready. Corny, yes, but effective and correct. The theme this week was songs from movies, which is about as vast a catalog as there is.
Ever since we were introduced to Jacob and the Man in Black at the end of Season Five, fans have been foaming at the mouth for more answers about their past. And with only two episodes until the series finale, it seems the writers have finally deemed us worthy of exactly that. Though it wasn’t as great as everyone was probably expecting it to be, tonight’s episode did fill in some of the gaps. In fact, along with shedding some light on the early lives of Jacob and MIB, it also explained why the latter is so damned obsessed with leaving the island… or did it?
Here’s what we do know. A pregnant woman named Claudia washed onto the island after surviving a shipwreck many years ago, and upon meeting another woman in the jungle, she gives birth to a pair of twin boys. The first is named Jacob, but because she wasn’t expecting to have more than one, the other is never given a name – and it remains without one after the woman kills Claudia and raises the two boys as her own. Flashforward to their teenage years and the unnamed child (who we now know as the Man in Black) finds a box on the beach containing white and black rocks that he fashions into a game to play with his brother, Jacob.
When the boys come across some other people on the island, however, they run back to tell Mother, who tells them that the visitors are evil. She later explains that the two of them are on the island for a reason, and that she’s made it impossible for either of them to hurt the other. She then takes them to a glowing waterfall in the jungle to show them just what they’re supposed to be protecting, and though she refuses to say exactly what it is, she warns them that the visitors will try to take the light, and if it goes out, it will go out everywhere. Of course, if MIB had been paying attention, he would have caught this slip-up, as Mother had previously told him that there was nothing else in the world beyond the island. Of course, that’s quickly remedied when the ghost of MIB’s real mother visits him in the jungle and leads him the other side of the island where the survivors of the shipwreck live. She also tells him about her murder at the hands of Mother, and although MIB tries to convince Jacob to come with him until he can figure out a way to leave the island, Jacob stays behind.
Flashforward again to their adulthood, and though they now live on separate sides of the island, Jacob and MIB still get together to play their childhood game. MIB even admits that Mother was right about the other men being evil, but he needs their help in order to find a way off the island. And as it happens, he’s done just that by digging into areas of the island radiating electromagnetic energy (or as he calls it, places “where the metal acts weird”), in order to locate the source of the glowing waterfall. But when Mother finds out about his dig site – one that includes the yet-to-be-frozen Donkey Wheel that will allow him to leave the island – she throws him against the wall knocking him out. And you wonder why the guy has been holding a grudge against her for all these years.
Tonight’s episode of “24” felt like a blast from the past. It was pretty lean in terms of storytelling, it contained a hellacious, if predictable, end-around, and ended with one of the most vicious torture scenes in the show’s history. Pity it had one major, major flaw.
I liked that Dominic was so busy trying to nail down Bauer down that he took no notice of Chloe and Merv the Perv conspiring behind his back. Even when he noticed Chloe giving him The Look (you know the one), he just tinted the windows and kept on scheming. Fool. Nobody puts Chloe in a corner. Still, you’d think Dominic would show a little more diplomacy when safeguarding high crimes committed by the White House. By yanking that file away from Arlo, he may as well have stamped “CORRUPT” on his forehead.
As Jack is setting up the meet with White She Devil, I’m thinking to myself, “There has to be a better way to do this.” Not in terms of getting her the evidence (more on that in a bit), but in terms of meeting out in the open like that. So as it’s going down and he shows up, I knew he’d have a plan, and sure enough, he did. He didn’t care about getting caught on camera – he knew the hit man who took out Crazy Jackie would be there, and could then settle two scores for the price of one. Get the intel, and make the motherfucker responsible for Jackie’s death squeal like a stuck pig before ultimately killing him. Re-enter Mr. Blonde, to get the drop on Dmitri Sharpshooter.
But I have another idea.
“Let’s see, stab him, then the lighter fluid, then the blowtorch, then the pliers. No, pliers first. The crowd loves it when I open with that.”
That’s great that he was able to abduct – and torture the bejeezus out of – Renee’s killer, but if he just wanted to make sure She Devil got the video, why didn’t he just go viral with it? Post that puppy to YouTube, text her the link, have her record her own version in the event CTU discovers it, and send it to every TV station in New York City. She Devil said it herself, Starbuck’s tape alone was more than enough evidence to blow the lid off. He didn’t need to risk her life over it, which actually goes to Dominic’s point that Jack has indeed lost it, and is acting not out of duty but out of grief and hell-bent on revenge. I believe Jack has it mostly together; he did check himself after unloading about 20 hay makers on the helpless hit man. But let’s not kid ourselves, people: Jack Bauer is the Crow, and he will not stop until everyone responsible for Renee’s death is dealt with. And by dealt with, I mean gutted like a deer, but not before having a little blowtorch work done. And taking the cell phone memory card out of hit man’s stomach, staring him in the eyes the entire time…wow.
The bottom line is that Jack should go viral with the footage anyway, because once it’s out on the web, the government will not be able to control the message any longer. It’s an instant checkmate, and Jack, of all people, should know this. But hey, the “24” writers, for as advanced as their tech is, are slow on the draw with certain things. They actually used texting to their advantage this week, after passing on a golden opportunity to use it in an earlier episode. Before you know it, they’ll be Facebooking, tweeting, and then, when no one’s looking, sexting. Shhhhh!
I still have one question: has I.M. Weasel revealed how he suspected the Russians were involved in the day’s events? I remember him offering his services to Allison, and then blackmailing Mikhail into submission, but never really being forthright – not his strong suit, sure – with either of them. He must have known something, but what? If he heard chatter, then who was chattering? I hear chatter about lots of things, but I don’t offer my services to the President unless I’m 100% sure of my intel, especially if I’m a disgraced former President looking for redemption.
Time for tonight’s song, courtesy of a mid-’80s AAA-hungry Brian Setzer. This is the first time I’ve heard this song since its release, and all I could think of was Marshall Crenshaw. I’m frankly surprised Crenshaw didn’t write this, because it sounds just like him.
Last week’s episode so wreaked havoc on my theory on how the next few episodes would play out, thanks to Hank’s parking-lot battle with the Cousins (I was sure they’d stalk him for awhile before going after him), that I walked into this week’s “Breaking Bad” with absolutely no clue about what to expect. I even said as much to Dean Norris when I talked to him, but he assured me that the show would stay intense and action-packed right through to the end of the season, adding that, despite the status of the Cousins, “There are plenty more bad guys where they came from.” I wouldn’t say that this week’s installment was entirely action-packed, but it certainly had some moments of intensity, that’s for sure.
Things kicked off with a battered and bruised (and, lest we forget, tattooed) Jesse preparing to leave the hospital, but as he’s waiting at the curb for his ride to show, he happens to see Hank rolled in on a gurney, looking decidedly worse for wear. The initial look on Jesse’s face was horror, and one wonders if maybe he thought that his own life might be in danger as well, which is a pretty reasonable consideration if you’re thinking in terms of, “If they can take down a DEA agent, they can take down anybody.” It doesn’t take long, however, for the horror to turn into bliss at the realization that the man who kicked his ass nine ways to Sunday has been taken down a peg himself.
Poor Gale. He thought that he and Walt were simpatico, but, uh, not so much. And, no, it’s not about his screw-up in setting the temperature that set Walt off last week. It’s apparently more to do with rhythms…or, at least, that’s the story that Walt’s trying to spin. Classical vs. jazz? Yeah, that explanation lasted about as long as it took for Jesse to open his dumb-ass white trash mouth. I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of Gale.
We have, however, seen the last of Walt at the SuperLab for this episode. Turns out that the lack of cell phone reception in the facility means that Jesse actually knew about Hank’s condition before Walt did. Once he finds out, however, he’s off to the hospital, where he meets up with Skyler, Walt, Jr., and, of course, Marie, along with quite a few of Hank’s fellow DEA agents. In addition to finding out that one of the Cousins survived, albeit in critical condition, we also discover that Marie had no idea that Walt’s weapon had been confiscated from him. Cue a royal ass-tearing from Mrs. Schrader, one which finds Hank’s ex-partner, Steve, getting reamed. Unfortunately, Walt finds himself on the receiving end of her venom, too, thanks to the very reasonable suggestion that none of this would’ve happened if it hadn’t been for Walt’s connection to Jesse. You can see in Walt’s eyes that he did indeed feel some guilt over the situation (though it’s likely less because of his former student and more for his own disgraceful actions a few episodes back), and the next thing you know, he’s turned into Super Family Man. You can see him actively struggling with his desire to be elsewhere and to just be doing something other than sitting around, but he’s trying his best to be there for a change…even at the expense of the deal he’s made with Gus.
Meanwhile, Jesse’s being about as loud, obnoxious, and useless as any human being can be. He’s really been all up and down the emotional spectrum over the course of this season, and I have to admit that it was good fun to see him acting so utterly irresponsible as he giddily explored the SuperLab to the strains of Prince Fatty’s “Shimmy Shimmy Ya,” but it struck me as being a little ridiculous. Yes, he’s been through a lot of the past few days, and he’s more earned himself the chance to blow off a little steam, but after he kicked so much ass as a meth maker on his own, it still rang untrue to me that he wouldn’t at least be trying to figure out the lab on his own. But it was a typical dumb-ass move for Jesse to call Walt at the hospital, and it was a cruel but character-appropriate closing comment that Jesse made: “Tell your douchebag brother-in-law to head to the light.” Nice. The guy’s a complete dumbass, but you can’t help but love him. Well, we can’t, anyway. Victor – Gus’s right-hand man – doesn’t appear to feel the same way…at all.
