Category: TV (Page 591 of 595)

Head + Stone = Not good

Caesar is elected emperor by a castrated Senate and he celebrates by providing five days of feasting and games. He publicly executes one of his prisoners, the “King of all the Gauls” and the discarded body is later given a proper funeral by what I can only assume are Gaul-loyalists. Servilia continues to plot against Caesar and has enlisted the help of Pompey’s son, Quintus, along with an old friend, Casius. The three write an anti-Caesar statement and sign Brutus’ name to it, which pisses him off to no end. He’s mostly concerned with how Caesar will react, but the big man is cool with it.

More and more, “Rome” is less about the politics of the time and more about the life and times of Titus Pullo. His fierce loyalty combined with his brutish decision making make Titus by far the most intriguing character in the series. Just when you think the guy is a big teddy bear, he goes and kills a slave because the guy was going to run off with who he thought was his girl. I was expecting him to react, but I wasn’t expecting him to REACT. Titus slams the poor boy’s head into a stone column five times before relenting, but it’s already too late. Now that his dream of retiring to the country with his slave girl is impossible, it appears that he may go over to the dark side, and take a job in Rome’s seedy underworld.

Lucius is a fish out of water in the world of politics and is troubled when he learns that the magistrate elections aren’t on the up and up. If nothing else, the man is honorable, so it will be interesting to see how mired he gets himself in politics, which seem to be corrupt no matter what year it is. He seems especially hurt when he and Titus have it out (over Titus’ killing Lucius’ slave in front of his children) and Titus calls Lucius out on his political flip-flopping. Lucius banishes Titus and it appears that the friendship is over, for the time being anyway. Before Titus leaves he apologizes to his slave girl. It’s quite the statement about the violence of those times, that a man thinks that an “I’m sorry” is going to have any effect on a stunned widow. Poor guy, now we know why she looked so distant while they got it on last week.

Heh heh, that’s….not funny anymore

When we got the press release that Mike Judge was assembling a set of his favorite Beavis & Butt-Head episodes, and then was adding a bonus disc that had their music video commentary on it, it seemed heaven sent. And then I watched it, and was bored out of my skull.

Now, I’d like to think that I’m not too far removed from the twentysomething that watched the show regularly during its heyday. And yet, with three exceptions, I found it excruciating to sit through the first two discs, which had 20 episodes apiece. Plus, they didn’t include any of the really funny music video commentaries. The thing is just a colossal disappointment all the way around.

So let me have it, people. Is Beavis & Butt-Head still funny? Or have we simply evolved to the point where we (rightfully) expect far more from a show than “dilweed,” “butt munch,” and “Uhhhhhhhhh” as punch lines?

She’s eight months pregnant!

Shame on you, J.J. Abrams. The sight of Sydney Bristow – in the third term of her pregnancy – running around conducting CIA field ops is absolutely absurd. First, Jennifer Garner gets her former beau (Michael Vartan) kicked off the show because he wasn’t friendly with her new guy, then she gets knocked up and the producers are forced to work her pregnancy into the show’s storyline. They should have waited to start filming until after she gave birth – I can’t believe I’m typing this – so the show would at least have some of its credibility after killing off its best character. Hear that? It’s the sound of “Alias” being deleted from TiVo season passes across the country.

Dear Fox, I hate you

We’ve all had our gripes about network doofus Fox in the past, whether it was the cancellation of our favorite shows (i.e. “Family Guy,” “Firefly”) or the mistreatment of others (i.e. “Arrested Development”). Still, Fox has done a few things right, hasn’t it? “24” is a blockbuster hit. So much so, apparently, that the network is willing to bump the final nine episodes of the equally successful “Prison Break” in order to begin the fifth season of “24” in timely fashion. Are these guys complete idiots or what? “Prison Break” premieres with great ratings, only to disappear for a month in order to make room for the MLB playoffs. It then returns in late October for about five more weeks before taking another break – this time for Christmas/New Year’s Eve.

Why does Fox choose to continually shoot itself in the foot every season? And why can’t the remaining episodes of “Prison Break” air either before or after “24”? There can’t be anything better to vie for the spot, and “Prison Break” represents the most similar programming the network has to fans of “24.” It all makes sense. Then again, that’s what got Fox into all this trouble in the first place. Note to the Fox executives: fire yourselves and hire people that know a thing or two about running a television station. Sigh.

Incest is not best

Just when you thought the show had covered every area of sexual depravity, they throw some incest at you. That’s right, Octavian is back from boarding school and Servilia enlists his sister (and her lesbian lover) to seduce him once she discovers that he holds the secret to Caesar’s ailment. Octavian is a bright kid and after he and his sister get it on, he tells her that he’s suspicious of her motives. A servant witnesses the morally reprehensible act and blows the whistle by telling his master, Atia – pissing her off to no end. Octavia only went along with this plan because she thought her mother had killed her husband (she did) and after confronting her, her mother lies right to her face. Later, Atia arranges for Servilia to get carjacked, leaving her naked and wailing in the streets of Rome – not a pretty sight.

Meanwhile, Lucius comes thisclose to a dangerous confrontation with his old boss (over a slap to the face, of all things) before Caesar unknowingly saves the day by showing up at Lucius’ home and asking him to be his magistrate for a section of Rome. Lucius hesitates, but agrees and this sends Titus Pullo into a tailspin. The two most interesting relationships in the show are Titus’ friendship with Lucius and his budding romance with his slave girl. The latter is cranked up a notch when Titus ties one on and calls the girl out – literally. It’s tough to get a read on the girl; as the two start to get it on, she seems quite distant. I’m interested to see where this takes poor Titus – I think he’s in love.

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