It’s a damn shame that Rex is dead, because this show desperately needs medical attention. The backlash that started building with that Vanity Fair article earlier this year has escalated, and Marc Cherry and his writers are only adding fuel to the fire with episodes like this one.
Let’s start with Mike, who went to great lengths to emphasize his “one strike and you’re out” attitude towards interpersonal relationships in an earlier episode – for the sole purpose of bringing that chicken home to roost when he finds out that Susan sent Zach to Utah on the sly.
One problem, though: Mike has violated this very credo on multiple occasions in the past. What about Deirdre, the mother of his child? Drug addiction isn’t considered a strike? And what about Zach himself – with whom Mike is so dead set on reconciling? There was a tiny incident with the young scamp holding Susan at gunpoint – but apparently that pitch was just below the knees as well. So, to recap: hostage-taking is perfectly fine, but give a kid a few bucks to go visit the Osmonds, and yer outta here.
And speaking of inconsistencies, will they ever allow Lynette to keep her own spine, instead of forcing her to do the Hokey Pokey with it? It’s in. It’s out. It’s back in. This week, it was out, with Lynette keeping uncharacteristically mum when boss Nina makes catty remarks about Lynette’s wardrobe in front of the entire staff. Remember, when last we saw Lynette, she was confident enough to clad herself quite scantily and dance atop a bar in order to set some boundaries with her boss…but now she’s afraid to confront Nina for acting like a Heather?
Apparently, it’s all about convenience, as far as the writers are concerned, and it wasn’t convenient for Lynette to have her spine this week. Maybe next week, if the Emmy winner works extra hard, and promises to sit by the writers at lunch.
Similarly, it apparently wasn’t convenient to show the African-American family at all this week, and follow up that juicy “Of Mice and Men” setup, because…well, the episode was running long, and something had to go. They certainly couldn’t have cut the lengthy and asinine storyline that put Paul Young back in his house, free as a bird, or the one that had Gabrielle inexplicably spurn the advances of the attractive and wealthy lawyer who is clearly a better match for her than Carlos.
And they definitely couldn’t have cut the scenes we least wanted to see: the ones with Bree getting hives whenever she and George are in danger of (ew!) getting physical, and the one that suggested that George may have taken advantage of her while she was passed out. As trying as Bree’s character can be at times, no one wants to see (or think about) her getting raped. That’s just creepy – and it’s out of place for a show that continues to position itself as a comedy.
Dr. Van de Kamp, if you can hear us, this show needs a shot of real humor, a dose of adrenaline, and a massive infusion of consistency…STAT!
