Category: Reviews (Page 20 of 120)

American Idol: Chastize me over Elvis Presley’s grave

As guest blogger, I will open in the only way I should: by offering my sincerest apologies for not getting the blog for last night’s “American Idol” completed in a more timely fashion. I’ve been battling an allergy attack since yesterday (the result, I feel certain, of all the dust I kicked up in my office while scouring the joint for tax receipts), and, quite frankly, I feel like crap. But I know Mike’s got a lot going on these days, what with his big move and all, so I was always going to do this for him. I just had to build up my strength, which I have now done, so with my cup of hot lemon tea with honey sitting by the keyboard, let’s get to talking about who got the boot.

Things kicked off last night with a medley of Elvis Presley songs – “Burning Love,” “Teddy Bear,” “Return to Sender,” and “Viva Last Vegas” – which neither did damage to the reputation of the King of Rock ‘n’ Roll nor did it any favors. The best part about “Burning Love” was the cute moment where we saw Katie working her knees for all they were worth, and Lee’s vocals on “Teddy Bear” sounded like those of a lounge singer, but I actually kind of dug it. Otherwise, though, I was pretty underwhelmed by the performances, and when “Viva Las Vegas” kicked off, all I could think of was how much better the Dead Kennedys did the song.

From there, the program went green for a minute or so as we were treated to a Ford-sponsored commercial with several of the contestants performing a version of…wait for it…the Polyphonic Spree’s “Light and Day / Reach for the Sun.” How completely and utterly surreal, but it sounded a damned sight better than any of those Elvis covers.

Moving on to the first of the night’s departures, Cap’n Seacrest narrowed down the playing field to three contestants:

* Casey, whose version of “Lawdy Miss Claudy” Mike described as “not bad at all vocally, but just a so-so rating on the entertainment meter.”
* Aaron, who offered a take on “Blue Suede Shoes,” which Mike called “cheesy but not horrible.”
* Andrew, who Mike buried in the Not So Good column last night, saying, “It wasn’t awful, but not at all star quality and easily the worst of the night.”

So long, Andrew…and, really, was there ever any doubt that you’d be one of the two players leaving the game tonight? But, hey, at least we got your version of James Morrison’s “You Give Me Something” as a farewell, which served to remind us that, all things considered, America probably made the right decision.

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Breaking Bad 3.4 – Dirty, Damp, and Deep in the Valley of the Sun

I begin this week’s “Breaking Bad” blog with a confession: it’s the first episode this season where I didn’t have an advance screener, which meant that I was watching it along with the rest of you. The reason I confess this is because it also means that, in order to get my blog knocked out as quickly as possible, I had to watch it live on the TV set in my office, which is TiVo-less. It’s the set in the living room that has the TiVo, and…well, that’s recording “The Celebrity Apprentice” for me. Hmmm…suddenly, what was intended to be an attempt to earn your sympathy has abruptly become fodder for insult. This has gone terribly wrong. Perhaps I’d better go ahead and get to talking about “Breaking Bad” in order to try and save face. (Yes, I know: it’s far too late for that.)

Well, Jesse might be clean, but he’s clearly no smarter now than he was when he was still using. Kids, here’s your lesson for this week: if you’re ever driving a bullet-riddled RV and find yourself in desperate need of fuel, do not…repeat, do not…try to use methamphetamine as currency. While I can appreciate the need to take Old Faithful for a spin for “work” purposes, when it comes to potential witnesses trying to pick it out of a line-up, it’s hard to conceive of a more memorable vehicle. It kinds of stands out in a crowd, you know? I’ll give it to Jesse, though: ever since admitting to himself -whether rightly or wrongly – that he’s the bad guy, he’s developed balls of steel. Trading gas for meth with a state trooper right there in the store…? That’s pretty fucking ballsy, you’ve got to admit. The best line of the scene, though, had to be when Cashier Cara offered her concerns about the addictiveness of meth and Jesse assured her that it had been blown way out of proportion. (“It’s a media thing.”)

We had some great scenes from Saul Goodman this week. Of course Saul’s got a class action lawsuit working against the airline. He’s just that kind of guy. I loved both the guy we saw in his office (“You’ve been the victim of a terrible accident, some discomfort is to be expected”), as well as the phone call later in the episode, where he assures someone that they needn’t have had a wing fall on their house and that even a bag of peanuts is enough to get them into the lawsuit. Awesome. Mike’s mikes turned up a fierce war of words between Walt and Skyler over her revelation that she’d fucked Ted, a conversation which led Walt to offer one of his typically nonsensical declarations (“I’ll suit myself to his face!”) and found him heading over to the office to confront Ted in person and give a predictably ineffective performance.

Damned shame about the potted plant, though. Poor bastard only had a week left ’til retirement…

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United States of Tara 2.3 – Skating on Thin Ice

“I don’t know what Buck’s been doing over there, but it can’t be good.” So says Tara to her trusty video recorder, and, boy, she ain’t kidding. Buck’s giving pedicures…? I never thought I’d see the day. But, then, he’s also making with the sex, so it’s not like there isn’t an appropriate trade-off involved. Still, this is a strange change in dynamic for that particular alter, to say the least. And, yet, Max tells her that she’s the best she’s ever been, and he’s so happy that she can’t bring herself to tell him that she’s transitioning between personalities. Of course, it’s not like he shouldn’t have figured out that something’s up. I realize he’s diving headlong into the renovation of their recently-purchased house (formerly known as Casa de Hubbard), but this is taking obliviousness to a ridiculous degree.

Marshall and Courtney: game on…? “Yeah, that makes sense,” says Tara. “On Opposite Day!” The relationship is clearly doomed. The big question, therefore, is how long until the doom begins to kick in. Surely Courtney’s hopes aren’t but so high when it comes to the duration of her pairing-off with Marshall. It seems pretty clear that she’s a horny teenager…yeah, I know, like every teenager isn’t horny…who’s going after a cute and clearly gay guy because he’s arguably the least intimidating person at the school who’s likely to give her a chance at having sex. “Dogs in a bathtub“? Shit, I’m 39 years old, and this is the first I’ve ever heard of that phrase. There’s something very weird about watching the characters trying to get each other off while backstage at a Shakespearean production – though, of course, everyone knows that’s where all the action is – but the sexuality of the moment is defused by the humor of the moment. Between Courtney’s excitement that she’s good at giving handjobs and Marshall’s uncertainty about whether he’s “getting warm” (not to mention Courtney taking a moment of thought to consider if he was close or not), it was probably my favorite scene of the episode because you could very easily imagine it taking place in the real world.

This was an educational episode all around: I also never knew that straight women go gay because of menopause. The scene between Jackie, Charmaine, and Neighbor Ted in the bathroom was pretty funny, particularly Ted’s assertion on determining one’s sexuality (“You’ve got to get up in it!”), as was watching Jackie try to turn herself into Buck without actually transitioning, although it obviously became a far more serious scene in the end, with Pammy sobbing on Tara’s shoulder about how she never gets the guy. Was I the only one who was completely blindsided by Pammy’s decision to hijack the P.A. system and declare her undying love for both Buck and Tara? Also, I haven’t been ice skating in years, but is it really possible that the music they play at the rink hasn’t changed in two and a half decades, or is this just wishful thinking on Diablo Cody’s part?

So Linda’s check bounced. What a shock. She wouldn’t have been on the collection agency’s hot list if she was the kind of person who’d just stroke a check every time someone came looking for payment. I don’t know that there’s any more to the character of Ricky the Trustifarian than a great name and a source for weed, but, seriously, the name is awesome. It’s a strange relationship developing between the two of them, a kindred-spirits sort of thing…or is it more? Either way, it was totally worth it to see Kate in the Princess Valhalla outfit.

Patton Oswalt’s back! I loved Max’s assurance that, even with Charmaine kicking him to the curb, there are still lots of lovely ladies on eHarmony.com just waiting for a shot at him. It was pretty tragic to see his face when he realized that she was engaged, but it still didn’t tarnish that incredibly funny groan he offered up to get her attention when she first walked in. The fact that Charmaine could barely be bothered to stop ogling her ring and considering an upgrade long enough to feel bad about how she’d made Neil feel…man, that just felt cruel. I say again: she’s totally going to fuck things up long before the wedding day arrives.

So Pammy’s declared her love before God, country, and the patrons of the Paul Bunyan Skating Rink, Max is so pissed off that he’s kicking the living shit out of Sully outside his kid’s birthday party (and, to be fair, it’s a well-deserved shit-kicking), and as soon as we got the shot of Tara not knowing whether to go into the “Ladies” or “Gentlemen” restroom, I knew we’d be seeing Buck within moments. I guess we’re shaping up for next week to find Buck crashing with Pammy, Max hanging loose in the old Hubbard house, and the kids fending for themselves. Good times.

Random moments of bliss:

* Kate’s suggestion for a new organization: Adult Children of Moms You’d Like To Fuck.

* Charmaine’s delivery of the line, “Her name was Gretchen, and she was very proud of her vagina.”

* The shot which established that Tara and Bartender Babe had been to Fun World together…and if you saw the episode, then you know that’s not some sort of euphemism.

* Marshall’s soon-to-be-reversed declaration that “I’m not into weed; it makes me like action movies.”

Nurse Jackie 2.3 – Don’t Even Try To Hide Behind That Stupid Lie

The unexpected return of Kaitlyn Flynn to Grace’s circle of friends was…well, not that unexpected, really, since her appearance in the “previously on” segment clearly indicated that we’d be seeing that storyline rearing its head again this week. Still, I knew the tension between Jackie and Kaitlyn’s mom would be revisited at some point, given the way it was clearly underlined that Kevin had had some sort of history with Ginny Flynn was surprised to see that “I was wrong, you were right” look appear on Jackie’s face when Kevin reminded her that Grace needs to hang out with her friends, but given that Grace’s list of friends is only one name long, I guess she had no choice but to concede the point. It sure came back to bite her in the ass, though…and, of course, the nose as well. Is any doubt that Kaitlyn will report back to her mother what she witnessed? Jackie’s judgment is obviously less than sound when dealing with Ginny, but it struck me as an astonishingly poor plan to dump the casserole into the trash right in front of the girls, especially knowing full well that Ginny doesn’t do well with things like lying and, uh, fitting in with her peers.

Oh, man: how sad is it that Coop’s buying Ramen noodles for dinner? The camera didn’t go out of its way to focus on his choice of food, but I’d know a package of those anywhere. (Hand on heart, I’m eating a bowl of them as I write this very blog…which, come to think of it, is pretty tragic in and of itself.) Between his one-man meals, his overemphasis on how many folks on Twitter are following his every move, and his repeated reminders to Eddie that he’s there for him if he needs to talk, it’s clear that Cooper’s life is pretty pitiful these days…almost, it seems, as pitiful as Eddie’s. (The way he grills Coop about who’s spreading the word about his supposed suicide attempt, you can tell that he wants to find any possible excuse to hate Jackie.) I hope making the list of the 25 Best Doctors in Manhattan pays off for Coop…and not just because he spent money on a publicist to earn his position. At this rate, the guy’s going to fall into a serious depression way sooner than later.

What is it about medical shows that they feel obliged to make their male viewers squirm for all they’re worth…or am I the only one who reacted that way at the below-the-waist issues of the dog-bite victim? Mind you, it took a little bit of the sting away when his wife’s first reaction to her husband’s injuries was to muse, “I’ll probably be banned from the kennel club for life…” Thank God we didn’t get a shot of the guy whose cell phone blew up in his face…

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Blu Tuesday: The Lord of the Rings – The Motion Picture Trilogy

While we all patiently await Guillermo del Toro’s big screen adaptation of “The Hobbit” (currently scheduled to be split into two parts and rumored for a 2011 release date), Warner Bros. has decided to whet our appetites by releasing “The Lord of the Rings” on Blu-ray. It’s certainly been one of the most requested titles since the format first arrived on the scene, but now that it’s finally here, the release has only been mired in controversy. Although a lot of fans have been aggressively vocal about the studio’s decision to only release the theatrical editions at this time (one look at Amazon’s product page shows an average rating of 1.5 stars), the reasoning behind the boycott is absolutely ridiculous.

It’s not as if Warner Bros. is trying to dupe consumers into buying two versions of the movies like they did with the DVDs. In fact, they were kind enough to announce fairly early on that HD versions of the extended cuts would be made available closer to the release of “The Hobbit” in theaters, namely because director Peter Jackson wants to produce all-new bonus material for that set. So why the outrage? Quite simply, because the only thing fanboys know how to do better than overhype a movie is complain about it. Sure, it sucks that fans of the extended editions have to wait so long, but to think that the studio has some kind of secret agenda is pure hogwash. Plus, some people actually prefer the theatrical editions to the overly long extended cuts (myself included), so it’s nice to see that Warner Bros. is offering that option from the get-go. If you don’t like it, too bad.

After all, you don’t hear fans of the theatrical editions complaining about the lack of new bonus material on this set, and that’s actually a more viable argument. You still get all of the special features from the original two-disc DVDs (with the exception of a new video game trailer in place of the old ones), as well as digital copies of each film, although it’s hard to imagine watching “LOTR” on such a tiny screen. It would have been nice if they had included a few new extras with this release, but that shouldn’t really affect whether you buy the trilogy on Blu-ray, because it’s really about the movies themselves, and they look and sound better than ever.

Each film is presented in full 1080p video (and in their original 2.35:1 aspect ratio) and boasts a powerful DTS-HD Master Audio 6.1 lossless audio track with a thunderous bass that won’t disappoint. The picture is also crisp and clean for the most part, although some might notice that “The Fellowship of the Ring” looks a little soft compared to the other two films. That’s likely a result of the way it was filmed as opposed to anything having to do with its transfer to HD, but I’m sure everyone will have their own theories. Still, even with a few minor imperfections, this remains a must-own for any fan of Jackson’s epic trilogy. Those who disapprove of the release can complain all they like, but after seeing just how awesome these movies look on Blu-ray, they’re going to find it pretty hard to resist.

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