Based on Sunday’s estimates:
1) The Pink Panther: $21.7 million (first week)
Okay, which part of this movie did you slack-jawed troglodytes think was funny, the part where he walks while reading a newspaper and falls down subway steps, or the part where he pulls out his badge, it flies across the room, and sticks in Kevin Kline’s chest? Have you people ever seen a movie before? Sweet Jesus.
2) Final Destination 3: $20.1 million (first week)
The best exploding-head scene since “Scanners.” Maybe even better.
3) Curious George: $15.3 million (first week)
The words “Songs by Jack Johnson” haunt my darkest dreams.
4) Firewall: $13.8 million (first week)
Little-known but well documented fact: every movie Harrison Ford has done since “The Fugitive” has sucked donkey donkey donkey donkey. The people, at last, have spoken.
5) When a Stranger Calls: $10.0 million ($34.8 million, second week)
This carries a 10% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. Ten, percent. And still, $10 million worth of babysitting money went to this in its second week. Come on, people. They won’t stop making these movies until we stop seeing them.
Category: News (Page 381 of 401)
Tom Sizemore’s one sorry bastard. He fucks up in Hollywood, then makes some greasy-ass porn, and now he’s admitted to taking meth, which could land him in the pokey. Let’s hope it does. The world could use a lot less Tom. There’s no point in anyone giving him any more money to “entertain” us. I don’t think they guy ever successfully did that, anyway. Just another sad sack ready to be buried early through cheap hookers and drugs. Wahoo. R.I.P. Tom Sizemore.
Get a load of this: Scarlett Johannson and Keira Knightley, naked.
Word has it that Rachel McAdams was also going to appear on the cover, but modesty overwhelmed her, presumably after getting a look at the racktastic Johannson in the buff. Last month, VF subscribers got a nude shot of Lindsay Lohan, and now this. Whoever graces their cover next month is toast.
There’s also a video of Knightley and Johannson getting ready for the big shoot. And before you ask, no, they’re not naked in it.
Holy smokes, we are not going to get anything done today. Boom shacka lacka lacka lacka.
After only a few episodes, CBS is yanking “Love Monkey” and the odds of it getting out of the network-built cage are pretty slim. What a gyp. Tom Cavanaugh is hilarious, the episodes thus far have been great, the soundtrack’s awesome (this week found a schoolyard basketball game being played against the soundtrack of “Daft Punk Is Playing At My House”), and the story – an idealistic A&R guy tries to stick to his principles AND be a success in the music industry – is unique. I’d say that maybe VH-1 could pick it up, but that would utterly confuse the network’s viewers because it’s almost entirely about music…
After being teased with the Spiderman role back when Tobey Maguire was having back trouble, “Brokeback Mountain” star Jake Gyllenhaal may finally be getting his comic-book fix. Though Christian Bale will reprise his lead role as the fly-by-night guy with the gadgets, Gyllenhaal will reportedly get to play District Attorney Harvey Dent in the “Batman Begins” sequel–and Dent will then mutate into his alter ego, villain Two-Face, in the third film in the series.
Hey, as long as they give this Two-Face more than the ten seconds of back story that Tommy Lee Jones got in “Batman Forever,” we’ll be happy.
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