Category: News (Page 310 of 401)

Retraction: Will someone please punch Pauly in the face — for real this time?


Don’t you want to play whack-a-mole with this Weasel?

Yep, it’s true. According to Odessa police, as reported by TMZ.com, Pauly’s on-stage assault in the Lone Star State was just a hoax, presumably engineered to glean some much-needed publicity for a comedian who, let’s face it, has never actually been funny:

The Odessa, Texas Police Department claims that an officer “had met with Mr. Shore prior to his set, and was asked to participate in the skit. The officer stated that the skit went as designed and that Shore was not injured in the designed skit.”

While of course I’m disappointed to have been hoodwinked by The Weasel, of all people, this new revelation just makes the story all the stranger. What did Pauly hope to accomplish with his little prank? And did he really think no one would find out?

Don’t know, don’t care. All I know is that, intentionally or otherwise, Pauly has now created a deep-seated desire among people the world over to see someone land a giant ham-hock fist squarely in his face. The people will not rest until they get their due. Who will rise to the challenge?

Holy crap, indeed.

Frank Barone has died…and so has the man whose version of “Puttin’ On The Ritz” could kick Taco’s ass any day of the week.

Peter Boyle passed away last night at New York Presbyterian Hospital from complications of multiple myeloma and heart disease. Boyle, who was 71, will be remembered as one of TV’s classic dads, thanks to his role as Ray Romano’s father on “Everybody Loves Raymond,” but his film roles in “Taxi Driver” and “Young Frankenstein” ensured him regular appearances on lists compiled by the American Film Institute. He also hosted an episode of “Saturday Night Live” during its first season (which I watched only a few days ago, as it happens), appeared in films ranging from “Monster’s Ball” to “Porky’s Revenge,” and such a close friend of John Lennon’s that the Beatle was his best man when he was married in 1977. And although he never won an Emmy for his work on “Raymond,” he did win one for his guest role on “The X-Files.” (If you’ve never seen the episode – “Clyde Bruckman’s Final Repose” – it’s one of the best of the series, and it can be found in the Season 3 box set.)

I don’t know how long it’ll last, but while it’s on You Tube, say bye-bye to Mr. Boyle in the best of all possible ways: with a song and dance number.

Nicole Richie downs liquid calories in valiant weight-gain attempt

Fans worried about Nicole Richie’s ongoing struggle to gain weight can rest easy in the knowledge that the Incredible Shrinking Starlet drank more than her share of calories before driving home (in the wrong direction, on a highway) Monday morning.

Police reports indicate that the 5’1”, 85-pound celebutante also confessed to smoking marijuana and taking Vicodin prior to her freeway freestyling display. Nutritionists hypothesize that Richie was hoping that a pot-induced attack of the munchies would result in additional fleshing out of her bony frame, and that the Vicodin would then block out the pain of no longer being able to see each and every one of her ribs.

No word yet on whether Richie’s unusual weight-gain strategies have been successful.

Bubba said knock you out

If you had asked me back in 1992, following my viewing of the breathtaking piece of filmmaking that is “Encino Man,” whether there would ever come a day when I would not want to see Pauly Shore get punched in the face, I would have said no.

No hesitation, no need to think about it — because, really, what’s not to love about watching somebody pop “the Weasel” in the schnozz?

Well, actually…a lot, if you watch this video from a recent standup performance in the thriving metropolis of Odessa, Texas. Shore gets heckled by an audience member, tells the guy to f– off…and then gets hassled by the rest of the audience for trying to keep the crowd under control so he can continue with his show. One member of said crowd — a guy in a cowboy hat who looks as though he ate two Paulies for lunch, with a side order of Carrot Top — then climbs onstage (unimpeded by the Odessa comedy club’s crack security squad) and, baited by the audience, proceeds to deck the scrawny comedian.

Ouch. I never thought I’d wind up on the same side of the fence as a guy who has annoyed the crap out of me for years…but that’s messed up, right there. The video has already been removed from multiple sites, so check it out now while you still can.

And then say a little prayer for the Weez.

Coming soon to a theater near you (hopefully sooner than later)…

…is “Brother Theodore,” a documentary about the…well, hell, what was Brother Theodore? Well, he was part performance artist, part stand-up comedian, and if the guy was still alive, he’d probably be a regular contributor to NPR and would be a household name…well, in your cooler households, anyway.

If you’re unfamiliar with him by name, you might still know him if you’ve ever seen “The ‘Burbs,” where he played Uncle Reuben Klopek, but here’s a short but mighty sweet 32-second clip of him on “Late Night with David Letterman” that shows how completely into his character he would disappear during his appearances on Dave’s show:

The documentary, which is being put together by Spontaneous Productions, covers Theodore’s life and times, and it includes interviews with Penn Jillette, Eric Bogosian, and others about their love of and experiences with the great man. It’s reportedly on target for a 2007 release, but nothing more specific than that has been divulged.

Personally, though, I’m psyched.

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