Category: News (Page 311 of 401)

Box Office Roundup: Nation’s bloodlust for death of Lord and savior far greater than its bloodlust for death of pagan foreigners

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Apocalypto: $14.1 million (owner: David Medsker, Scary Clown Studios)
Jack Black was mildly disappointed that his movie finished second to Crazy Mel’s Mayan Adventure, but when he heard that the lead character executed a perfect Power Slide in a primitive rock-off of sorts, all was forgiven.
2) The Holiday: $13.5 million (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
I’m not sure which is more surprising: that this under-promoted rom-com did so well, or that Box Office Mojo is listing the movie’s budget as a staggering $85 million. When your biggest name is Jude Law, there is no reason in the world your movie should cost $85 million without a bazillion special effects.
3) Happy Feet: $12.7 million, $137.7 million to date (owner: Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times Studios)
Enjoy the view from second place, Mark. It ain’t gonna last.
4) Casino Royale: $8.8 million, $128.8 million to date (Steve Wamsley, TSSU Productions)
James Bond gives Texas Hold ‘Em a brief stay of execution.
5) Blood Diamond: $8.5 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Ow. A $100 million movie starring the King of the World and the Prettiest Oscar Winner Ever lays a big ole egg. Kristin’s second round pick looks to be an even bigger bust than her first round pick (“Flushed Away”). Uh oh.
6) Unaccompanied Minors: $6.2 million (Kristin Dreyer-Kramer, Nights and Weekends)
Okay, so it’s sitting at 33% on Rotten Tomatoes right now. But after seeing “Home of the Brave” earlier in the week, this movie was a godsend.
7) Déjà Vu: $6 million, $53 million to date (owner: David Medsker Scary Clown Studios)
Man, I need to create some machine that enables me to go back in time over and over in order to convince people that they’ve never seen this movie and must therefore pay to see it again.
8) The Nativity Story: $5.5 million, $15.7 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
The studio couldn’t have been thrilled when the news broke that star Keisha Castle-Hughes, who plays Mary, is pregnant…by her 19-year-old boyfriend (that’s statutory rape here in America, for those keeping score at home).
9) Deck the Halls: $3.9 million, $30 million to date (Deb Medsker: Punch and Pie Pictures)
Nothing will get you thinking like a movie executive faster than the skill of underestimating the intelligence of the moviegoing public.
10) The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause: $3.3 million, $77.2 million to date (owner: Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Maybe not the $130 million-plus flick JZ was looking for, but it’s still $40 million up on “Stranger than Fiction.”
11) Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan: $2.5 million, $120.6 million to date (owner: Deb Medsker, Punch and Pie Pictures)
I’m starting the backlash here: the movie was funny, but it wasn’t that funny, people.
12) Stranger than Fiction: $1.5 million, $39 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
The truly strange part is that I thought this high-brow dramedy would be worthy of a first round pick. Should have taken a lesson from my wife and her “Deck the Halls” philosophy.
13) Turistas: $1.3 million, $5.8 million to date (Scary Clown Studios)
Hey, it was a waiver wire pickup, it could have been worse. But if it’s outgrossed by “Black Christmas” (which was picked up by Punch and Pie, a.k.a. my wife), well, then I have to eat a big ol’ pile of fool.

Conspicuously absent from the projections:
Van Wilder 2: The Rise of Taj. Gone after one week? Brutal.
Flushed Away. No rodent this smart deserves this kind of treatment.
Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny. Why this movie wasn’t released in early ’07, I’ll never know.
The Fountain. Okay, maybe not conspicuously absent, since it deliberately takes people’s minds (and patience) and gives them a good thrashing.
Bobby. Wouldn’t you think that the Democrats’ victory in the mid-term elections would change the movie’s fortunes a little?

Current standings (previous week’s standings):
1) TSSU Productions: $239.8 million (1)
2) Reel Times Pictures $167 million (3)
3) Punch and Pie Pictures: $155.2 million (2)
4) Scary Clown Studios: $112.2 million (5)
5) Seven Strangers Productions: $93.9 million (4)
6) Nights and Weekends: $82.4 million (6)
7) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $7.7 million (7)
8) What’s All This, Then?: $3.8 million (8)

Coming this week: Six currently owned movies open wide (Don’t Call Me Shirley, wisely, dropped “Home of the Brave,” after hearing the scathing advance word). Reel Times opens “Breaking and Entering,” Seven Strangers goes for the “LOTR” crowd with “Eragon” (though the fact that it’s screening on Thursday night has to be disconcerting), and TSSU releases its last movie of the season, “The Good Shepherd.” Don’t Call Me Shirley, in a big to get out of the cellar, drops its top two picks in the draft, “Dreamgirls” and “The Pursuit of Happyness,” while Punch and Pie makes a power play for the pole position with “Charlotte’s Web,” which boasts box-office goddess Dakota Fanning.

When less is more


“Which is louder: this shirt, or my performance in Snake Eyes?”

Nicolas Cage, the 42-year-old star of “National Treasure,” “Leaving Las Vegas,” and the upcoming “Ghost Rider” franchise, was recently quoted as saying that he plans to cut back on his acting in the future.

What remains to be seen is whether this means that Cage will be taking on fewer roles…or simply reining in the rampant overacting that has marked many of his performances to date.

Either way, the audience wins.

Tribeca giveaway: win tickets to see “The Good Shepherd” and “Charlotte’s Web”

Okay, you hip Noo Yawk kitties: your boy Bobby DeNiro is offering a chance to attend the screenings of both Bobby’s new flick “The Good Shepherd” (December 12) and “Charlotte’s Web” (December 16), which features the Biggest Star on the Planet, Dakota Fanning. To enter the contests, click here, but do it soon: the deadline for “Shepherd” is noon on 12/11 and the deadline for “Charlotte’s Web” is 12/13. Good luck, and give Bobby a playful kiss of death for us.

Ruben Studdard opens modeling agency for plus-size women

Based in his home state of Alabama, the former “American Idol” winner’s agency is said to specialize in what Ruben calls “real girls,” rather than the stick-thin creatures who appear in most ads and music videos.

Explaining the philosophy behind his new agency, the Velvet Teddy Bear replied, “I like big butts and I cannot lie/You other brothers can’t deny/That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist/and a round thing in your face/you get sprung…My anaconda don’t want none/Unless you’ve got buns, hon…”

Ruben then added that fat bottom girls make the rockin’ world go round.

“Big Brother” seeks to destroy the universe

Apparently looking to up the intellectual factor on their mindless reality show, the makers of the UK version of “Big Brother” are attempting to recruit renowned physicist Stephen Hawking to appear in a celebrity edition of the program.

Though he reportedly found the request ridiculously flattering, sources close to Hawking indicate that the quadriplegic genius is likely to decline the producers’ invitation. Tempted as he is by their offer of a substantial fee; multiple renovations to make the “Big Brother” house entirely wheelchair-friendly; and a guarantee of first dibs at “that one hot blonde floozy,” the scientist knows full well that his appearance on a reality TV show would cause the universe to implode–and therefore it must be avoided at all costs.

So, if Hawking won’t do it, who else might turn up on “Celebrity Big Brother” in his place? Well, according to UK tabloid The Sun, other prime targets include mentally unstable former pop star Adam Ant…and mentally unstable foreign pop star David Hasselhoff.

Oh, my. Could that really happen? Could there actually be a show that puts the King of the Wild Frontier in the same house with…The Hoff?

I shudder to think. And then I check TV Guide to see whether that show is on yet.

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