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John Krasinski* The smart and likable John Krasinski of “The Office” may be out of the running for the Captain America movie though his agent appears to be keeping busy. I take it some fan boys didn’t think he was sufficiently ultra-muscular or traditionally handsome or something enough for the role, but I find that a bit weird — especially considering that Steve Rogers starts out as an ordinary guy and it’s not Krasinski’s McLovin or something. He’d be a good choice and I hope they change their minds.  The other reputed candidates aren’t as well known to me, but the guy from the “Tron: Legacy” trailer certainly doesn’t strike me as anything too special based on what I saw there.

* It used to be that winning the best picture Oscar had major repercussions at the box office. At least for the so-far low-grossing “The Hurt Locker,” that might not be the case, though I’m sure it’s DVD sales will be a lot better than they would have been otherwise. The Iraq war drama appears to be caught in the crossfire between theater owners and studios over DVD releases.

* The show has taken its share of critical lumps, but Sunday’s Oscars did just fine in the ratings.

* Jim Emerson on the latest self-destructive move of Variety. Why do newspapers of all stripes seem to think that increasing prices and decreasing value is the way to salvation? I’d really like to know how that’s supposed to work.

* Howard Stern can be funny, but this item and accompanying clip, about his and cohost Robin Quivers’  nasty, idiotic reaction to “Precious” star Gabourey Sidibe’s career prospects reminds me of what made me dislike him rather strongly back in the day– it’s not just the nastiness, it’s the fact that he doesn’t have a damn clue what he’s talking about. Or is it the case that John Goodman, Chris Farley, John Candy, Victor Buono, Dom De Luise, Nick Frost, Jonathan Winters, Jonah Hill, and countless other, admittedly mostly male, actors who are in the fat-to-obese category have had “no” careers over the last several decades?

Not that overweight actors, especially including severely obese ones like Ms. Sidibe, shouldn’t try to lose weight if they want a larger selection of parts and a longer and healthier life, though it’s always vastly easier said than done. Still, it’s definitely not true that she will “never” work again if she stays at her present weight. She’s already got work on Showtime.

* In Hollywood, imitation is the sincerest form of success envy. And so, it’s possible that Warner Brothers may be looking at the huge first-week success of “Alice in Wonderland” and thinking about going to meet the Wizard. One thing is true — as wonderful as the MGM classic is, the weirdness of the very long series of books has barely been touched by the movies,

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24 8.11: We all sleep alone

So much for last year’s declaration that nothing good happens after two in the morning. The scenes in the oxygen chamber were some of the finest in “24” history. The back-and-forth between Marcos and Jack was tight and even, but the final confrontation was money. “If you knew anything about me”…laughed out loud at that line. And that eagle’s stare he shot through the camera would make a desk lamp beg for mercy. “I’ll talk! I’ll talk!”

Are we in agreement that the threat to submit Mare Winningham to radiation poisoning is one of the lowest, meanest tricks Jack’s ever pulled in an interrogation? Of course, that is precisely what made it so awesome. “If you blow yourself up, I’m having your mother clean it up.” Yes.

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“But Tarin, don’t you love me?” “Sure, I do. Like I love Fresca.”

From last week’s comment section:

I’m sure I’m not the only one thinking this, but I’m guessing the significance of Princess Jasmine running off is that her beau actually is a bad guy and the Princess will soon find herself “in great peril.”

Well played, Jamey. He turns out to be exactly right, as head of security Tarin Faroush has in fact been romancing Princess Jasmine as a bargaining chip in case his takeover plans hit a snag. As official blogger of “24,” I frankly feel dumb that I didn’t anticipate this. I should have known from the beginning that her character’s only value was as bait. But once again, we’re in a situation where something could have been resolved a lot quicker with a text message. “She’s not answering her phone.” “Oh, well then leave her another voice mail.” Ugh. Fucking text her already. “CTU just confirmed: boyfriend is bad guy. Run, Lola, run!” I’m no text fiend, mind you, but sometimes, it’s the easiest, quickest way to communicate, and I’m not sure it’s ever been used as a plot point in the show’s history.

Starbuck and Buffy get a well-deserved tongue-lashing from Bubba as they returned to CTU with tails stuck between their legs, but the second Starbuck tries to get down to business, a corrections officer – henceforth known as Jimmy James – that’s tracking Kevin gets Starbuck’s phone number from a Queens hotel room phone. Would it have killed her to say sorry, I’m in the middle of a matter of national security and you, lowly corrections officer, will just have to wait? Doesn’t she realize what a position of authority she has? Jesus, what good is it to have power if you don’t use it once in a while? And Buffy is clearly losing patience with her inability to handle anything that’s thrown at her, however small. In the “Sliding Doors” version in my mind of the 24 hours that take place after this season ends, Buffy kills Starbuck just to shut her the hell up once and for all, but plants a gun on her and uses her criminal past as an alibi to argue that his killing her was self-defense. And there isn’t a jury in the country that would convict him.

Bonus pictureage this week, as I found this rather flattering picture of Crazy Jackie. Wowzers. No wonder someone I know refers to her as Rack Bauer. All right, back to work, people.

The only other story line to receive significant play tonight was how the whereabouts of Princess Jasmine landed Slumdog President and Angry First Wife in the same room again. This is a crucial move for the story in that she really is the only one that he can trust, despite the fact that she doesn’t trust him (or, more appropriately, his penis) any farther than she can throw him. Hopefully, this will not lead to some sappy reconciliation. Mutual respect, sure. But rekindled love, no. It just doesn’t work that way.

So what was Madame President and her staff working on this last hour? Their nails? Their plans to bomb Slumdog’s country back to the Stone Age? A Sudoku puzzle? An out clause in their “24” contracts? Ah, who are we kidding, this is one of the best gigs on television, even if you have to wear the same clothes every single day for the entire season. I would love to see a scene where someone wakes up a president, or an advisor, or anyone for that matter, to deal with a matter of national security at three in the morning. This show has thrived on the understanding that anyone can go 24 hours without sleep, but what it doesn’t take into account is how many hours before the show begins that these characters have gone without sleep. There was a scene early in the show’s run when someone tried to escape Jack’s clutches when he was succumbing to exhaustion, but I don’t recall sleep deprivation ever playing a part in a single story line since then. Unless they include Chloe and Morris’ decision to name their son Prescott. Because that’s a terrible name to give an American kid.

Tonight’s blog title might seem like a big surprise coming from an alt-pop guy like me, but I’m on call to take care of my daughter when she inevitably awakes, which means I need to come up with something quickly…and this Cher song hit me, and actually fits the bill rather well. Marcos thought he was dying for a cause, but in the end, he gave the so-called enemy what they wanted. And if the bomb hadn’t killed him, his comrades would have. As Jack was throwing him in the chamber, he surely knew that he was a pawn and felt a moment of inpalpaple grief, right before being blown into bits. Marcos, for one, is definitely sleeping alone.

Checking in on Fox’s “Human Target”

As a longtime comic book geek, I’m not ashamed to admit that not only was I already familiar with the character of the Human Target from his adventures in the DC Comics universe, but I’m also one of those who actually watched when broadcast television first tried to make a television series out of the adventures of the man known as Christopher Chance. Few, however, would dare to suggest that ABC’s “Human Target” attempt – which aired in 1992, starred Rick Springfield, and lasted for a grand total of seven episodes – was a true classic of the comic-book TV genre…and that includes Chi McBride, who plays Winston, Chance’s partner, on the Fox series.

“Somebody asked me a crazy question today, like, ‘I heard that there was a rumor that Rick Springfield was supposed to be doing this one,'” said McBride, when I talked to him during the January TCA press tour. “I was, like, ‘What are you, goofy? The Human Target in a walker?’ I remember that old show…and that was pretty bad. We’re the 2.0 version of that, and it will make you forget about that thing.”

Based on the episodes I’ve seen, I’d have to agree with McBride…and so, it would seem, would our man John Paulsen, who described “Human Target” as “a fun ride.”

“Even though the series is heavy on action,” said Paulsen, “it has a lighthearted, fun feel to it — think Jack Bauer with a sense of humor — which is underlined by Chance’s charm (with his usually female clientele) and the dynamic between Winston and Guerrero, who do not particularly like each other.”

Guerrero, for those of you who haven’t yet checked out the series, is Chance’s technical expert, and he’s played by Jackie Earle Haley. Between this role and his memorable turn as the somewhat psychotic Rorschach in “Watchmen,” you’d think that he was paying off DC Comics for all the great gigs they’ve been providing him…and, indeed, in January, I asked him outright if this was the case.

“I should be, right?” he laughed. “Yeah, I’ve got them on the kickback plan.”

“I’d never been a huge comic book fan,” he said. “Growing up, I could never really get into them. When I was a kid, I was a super-slow reader, and when I’d open up a comic book, I couldn’t figure out what to look at first. The pictures? The words? Just the pacing of it kind of threw me off. Cut to years later, though, and I absolutely fell in love with ‘Watchmen.’ I mean, I became a ‘Watchmen’ fan, and since then, I’ve really begun to understand and appreciate comic books and graphic novels, especially the more grown-up ones, I guess you’d say. Right now, I’d almost have to say that my favorite comic book…and this will surprise you…is ‘V for Vendetta.’ It’s because it’s…it’s literature, man. It’s just an absolutely phenomenal, thought-provoking piece of work.”

Whether or not Haley feels the same way about the source material which inspired his current series remains unconfirmed, but when it comes to watching Fox’s “Human Target,” you’ll almost certainly enjoy it more without having read the original comic books. Why waste time nitpicking about continuity issues between the two mediums when you can enjoy each on their own merits? Having seen the next two episodes of “Human Target,” I can tell you that, while it has very little to do with anything that’s seen print in the past, it’s still a fun hour of adventure, humor, and even a bit of drama. Mr. Paulsen had observed that, as of when he composed his piece, “the show hasn’t done much in the way of a serialized plot, so new viewers could pick it up without missing much,” and while that still remains more or less true, the series is finally getting around to delving into the mysterious background of Christopher Chance, played by Mark Valley.

On March 10th, Chance reunites with a fiery former flame (played by Leonor Varela) when he is called to South America to rescue an archeologist (Kris Marshall) targeted by a South American army and a deadly bounty hunter, and although Chance’s past isn’t exactly what you’d call an open book by episode’s end, it does give you some insight into his romantic history. The episode on the 17th, however, is arguably the best installment of the series to date. Lennie James, late of “Jericho,” guest stars as Chance’s former partner, and although you arguably learn more about James’s character than you do Chance’s, it’s an episode that’s filled with both action and emotion. In addition to finding Chance getting caught up with the FBI, it’s also notable for expanding Guerrero’s storyline, which means that – woo-hoo! – Haley will hopefully be taking more of a spotlight in future episodes. Not that he and McBride aren’t consistently contributing to the overall success of the series, but any chance to get more Jackie Earle Haley is a chance we’re ready to take.

Haven’t checked out “Human Target” yet? Now’s the time, especially with upcoming episodes featuring guest appearances from Armand Assante and Lee Majors.

“Human Target” returns to Fox on Wednesday, March 10th, at 8 PM.

Food Wars premieres Tuesday night on Travel Channel

Are you one of those people who can’t get enough food? And by food I mean TV shows, blogs, and magazines about food? The industry is no doubt booming, and the popularity of food shows is at an all-time high right now. But it’s not just the Food Network that is in on the fun. Travel Channel has recently brought us the awesome “Man Vs. Food,” and a few other great programs.

Now, their new one, “Food Wars,” premieres on Tuesday night (10pm ET/9pm central), and is like a cross between “Man Vs. Food” and Food Network’s “Throwdown with Bobby Flay.” We caught a screener of “Food Wars” and it was one of the episodes airing tomorrow, the Buffalo Wing “war” between Anchor Bar (the originator of the Buffalo wing) and Duff’s, two Buffalo, New York institutions.

Bonus for you guys, host Camille Ford is hot, and she is especially sexy when she’s tasting wings, and is unafraid of spicy food. Ford goes back and forth between the owners of Anchor Bar and Duff’s, and there is even commentary from patrons of each restaurant, who are later asked to judge the competition blindfolded.

Will the originator take the prize of Best Buffalo Wing in Buffalo? Or will the challenger rise to the occasion? Tune in tomorrow night to find out!

Congratulations, Elinor Burkett

You’re the Kanye West of old white women.

Roger Ross Williams has been dreaming of this moment his entire life, and you just stole it from him. He had a speech ready and everything, but nope, you had something you just had to say. He may never get another chance to say what he had prepared, all because of you. I hope it was worth it.

May you never work in this town again.

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