Category: External TV (Page 373 of 419)

Rome: “No God Can Stop a Hungry Man”

Rome Lucius

Man, this show isn’t afraid to jump ahead in time! Apparently, “all these years” in Egypt has corrupted Mark Antony and it’s obvious that the spicy Cleopatra holds a lot of influence over him. After the dynamic duo multitasked by negotiating with a delegation from Rome while practicing their archery (on a slave, no less!), there was a great exchange between the Lucius and the representative from Rome:

Roman representative: Is he always like that?
Lucius: Like what?

Speaking of Lucius, he’s still in Egypt and is spending his nights having sex with scary bald prostitutes and dreaming about Niobe. He’s also charged with raising Caesarion, who is Titus’…er…Caesar’s son. Lucius certainly thinks it’s the former, because whenever the kid asks about his dad, Vorenus describes Titus.

It was a cold move for Octavian to send his sister and mother to Egypt and it was even colder that Antony sent them packing without even meeting with them. I was a little worried that their ship might sink on the trip home, but when Lucius said it wasn’t a bad idea for Posca and Jocasta to stow away, I figured killing Atia and Octavia wasn’t a part of the “delicate mission” that Antony gave him. Once back in Rome, Posca provided Octavian with justifcation for war (Antony’s will), so now everybody’s happy.

Titus had apparently been with Gaia for some time. The relationship felt rushed (as does the entire season), but the fight with POW Memio was still effective. You just knew that once Gaia confessed, the big fella was going to kill her. I thought Gaia was one of the more interesting (and more attractive) characters on the show, so I’m sad to see her go.

But I have to say that she had one of the best sendoffs ever. That final shot of her drifting in the water was simply gorgeous.

Jericho, Episode 15: “Well, the first clue was that they pronounced it ‘Semper FEE.'”

This week, Jericho is invaded by…fake Marines! Hey, thank God Johnston used to be a Marine himself, so he can spot their chicanery…!

Okay, I’m just kidding. This was actually mostly…not entirely (more on that at the end of this blog), but mostly a solid episode. When a bunch of guys and gals in USMC uniforms show up at your town hall driving tanks, why would you question that they’re who they say they are? I mean, especially if you’re getting as close to the end of your rope as these townsfolk are. It might’ve been nice if they could’ve stretched it out for more than an episode – it all seemed to move a little too fast, particularly the love connection between Jake and a sweet young Marine named Maggie – but it was an effectively dramatic episode.

The episode scores bonus points for having not one but two laugh-out-loud lines:

1) Mary Bailey gets up in arms when Maggie the Marine comes looking to borrow a transistor from the bar’s jukebox, but Maggie responds, “You’ve got three Spin Doctors CDs in that thing. I’d be doing a public service.”

2) Later, when in a deeply flirtatious discussion with Jake, she sagely observes, “You’ve really got this brooding bad boy thing down, don’t you?”

Mayor Anderson, ever the gloryhound, makes a point of trying to suck up to the Marines…only to be sorely disappointed when he discovers that they aren’t planning to leap to Jericho’s aid. (He also demonstrates that he can’t hold his liquor very well, sounding pretty well soused even before his mayoral predecessor makes a toast before the detachment heads out of town.) Once Jake discovers that they’re a big bunch of fakers, things fall apart in a hurry, and the USFMC are led to the city limits…in a hero’s farewell? Yeah, reasonably, it’s decided that the townsfolk probably draw more from the belief that the government is back together and working to save the country than they would from the news that they’ve been lied to. Let’s just hope that doesn’t backfire…

Hawkins spends the entire episode battling back and forth with his former partner, Sarah, who is keeping his family at gunpoint until he hands over the mysterious package he’s been holding on to…which turns out to be the missing atomic bomb that Hawkins never set off. Possibly not coincidentally, it was intended for the city which the faux Marines claimed was now the center of the US government: Columbus, Ohio. (Are the producers of “Jericho” attempting to curry our favor by giving such importance to the city where Bullz-Eye holds most of its editorial meetings…?) Although it takes too long to finally come to fruition, by the end of the hour, Sarah’s dead and Hawkins’ family is safe…but his wife’s finally had enough; as she departs with the kids, you can tell by Hawkins’ daughter’s tone that she doesn’t expect to see her dad again anytime soon. Things end on an uncertain note: is Hawkins secretly working for the same people that Sarah was answering to…?

In closing, it’s now official: Stanley and Mimi are EXCRUCIATING as a couple! When they were sniping at each other in the early episodes, that was entertaining…but the hackneyed lines they’re spouting nowadays are only getting worse. Seriously, it’s so bad this week that I feel obliged to quote them directly:

Stanley: Not now, Mimi!
Mimi: Like Hell not now, cornhusker!
Stanley: Cornhuskers are from Nebraska; I’m a jayhawk.
Mimi: Mimi: You drive me so crazy, and you know that I can’t stay here forever, but the truth is…I can’t live without you, either.
Stanley: Really?
Mimi: Yes, really!

Cue the music, the big kiss…and the impending waves of nausea. Thank God this subplot was the only piece of crap in an otherwise exemplary episode. I’m not a guy to wish harm even on fictional characters, but, geez, one of those two really needs to buy it sooner than later…and given that the preview for the next episode (arriving in two weeks) indicates that one of the main characters dies, I might just get my wish.

My Doctor’s Father’s Daughter

The big surprise on tonight’s episode of “Lost” may have been the reveal that Jack’s dad also happens to be Claire’s father (making them half-siblings), but for those of you who faithfully read the online forums knew this was coming. Instead, I think that the biggest shocker wasn’t that Jack and Claire are related (in fact, the whole Claire flashback was kind of lame), but that Kate, Sayid and Locke spy Jack playing catch with Tom at the Others’ camp. Is he just playing them, or has he genuinely assimilated into the community? It’s hard to say, though all clues point to the latter, since it’s been mentioned on more than one occasion that the Others aren’t really all that evil.

Nevertheless, the rest of the episode moved along quite well. That is, as long as it wasn’t sulking around the oh-so-pointless Claire and her plans to capture a homing seagull and attach an SOS to its leg. I mean, is that really the best you can offer someone that hasn’t had a character-centric in almost a whole year? Forget Charlie. The writers should just kill Claire, and then we wouldn’t have to listen to her incessant whining. Plus, there’d be at least some solid reasoning behind it: she was saving Charlie. And while we’re on the subject of Charlie’s death curse, am I the only one that finds it odd that Charlie technically should have died when Ethan hanged him in season one? Desmond wasn’t around during the time, and if this death curse is for real, then why did he live?

Whatever the answer, let’s just hope that the writers make the right choice and keep Dominic Monaghan on the show. It would be nice to see the old gang (in which Charlie used to play a seminal part) back together again when Jack is finally “rescued.” And speaking of that, the developing rescue mission has fast become the most interesting aspect of the new season. If Sayid is the new Jack – constantly butting heads with Locke – then who is Rousseau? I vote for Hurley, since neither one seems to be much help.

Anyways, the old theory that Locke is actually evil has officially been thrown back into play after the series of weird events tonight. First, Locke claimed that he didn’t know about the C4 in the basement, but after Sayid finds a block of C4 in his bag, Locke kind of just shrugs it off. Then, he pushes Mikhail into the middle of the invisible sonic fence surrounding the Others’ camp, only to discover that, yes, it still works, sending Mikhail into a seizure of sorts. I guess it was of some help, at least, as it allows the rest of the survivors to devise a way to get over, and now that they have made it to the edge of the camp, they’ve discovered their fearless leader tossing the football around with ‘ol Mr. Friendly. The plot thickens…

Comedy Central: The Web Shows

Seriously, what’s up with Comedy Central constantly going after the lowest common denominator…?

The network is furthering their original broadband programming market by premiering two new series: “Baxter and McGuire” and “Good God.” I don’t think I really need to tell you anything about the former except that it’s an animated show and its title characters are a pair of testicles.

As far as the latter, it’s a live-action series that takes place in the offices of God; there’s a really funny premise there, but its failing comes from being such a slavish attempt at ripping “The Office.” (It also doesn’t help that the first episode is literally potty humor, revolving around the question of whether or not God took a stinky dump in the office bathroom.)

There are, thankfully, others segments in the network’s web repetoire that are worth making note of. “I Love The ’30s” is a spot-on parody of the various decade-spotlighting series on VH-1; its creators also offer “All Access: The Middle Ages,” which is pretty funny as well. “Golden Age,” however, is full-on genius. It’s an animated mockumentary series about what happened to various animated commercial icons after their careers went downhill; the first episode involves a cereal spokesperson (think Sonny the Cuckoo Bird) who goes insane, kills three children in his rampage to get his favorite cereal, and is now living a quiet life in a sanitarium. “Guacamole” has its moments, with dialogue ostensibly coming from various food items, like a cabbage, a can of soup, and, yes, a container of guacamole. The only thing worth recommending about the surreal “Tiny Hands,” however, is that David Cross appears in its first episode.

Check out ComedyCentral.com for a list of all the web shows at your disposal, but, trust me, start with “Golden Age.”

Battlestar Galactica: “The Son Also Rises”

When Will had his father’s law books delivered to Lee a few episodes ago, I thought it was foreshadowing Lee’s involvement in the prosecution of Dr. Baltar, not his defense. As its title indicates, this episode was about Lee stepping out of the shadow of his father, even if he taking a step in the wrong direction. What good can possibly be served by helping to defend Baltar? The answer to this question will almost certainly become clear as the storyline wears on. Regardless, it should be interesting to see father and son in the same courtroom as members of the tribunal and the defense, respectively. I just hope they don’t drag the trial out too long; there are enough legal dramas on TV.

This week, we met a new character – Romo Lampkin (played by Mark A. Sheppard, who was last seen cutting up young women on “Medium”). Romo likes to wear sunglasses, even when meeting with the President, so I am going to refer to him henceforth as Horatio, as in Horatio Caine of “CSI: Miami.” For those of you wise enough to be unfamiliar with the character, Horatio also wears shades, and just loves to take them off or put them on to punctuate a dramatic point. (For a good laugh, check out this YouTube montage.) Anyway, Horatio is Baltar’s new lawyer and he was trained by Lee’s grandfather. What a coincidence!

There was no real news on the fate of Starbuck, but it’s highly doubtful that she’s gone for good. She may hang low until the finale, but we’ll see her soon. I feel for both Sam and Lee, though Lee still has a pretty good woman at home. I don’t think Starbuck could have asked for a better sendoff than having her husband injure his leg by drunkenly falling off of a viper. (Seriously.)

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