Author: David Medsker (Page 31 of 65)

Correction to the Hour 13 blog: the Doom board I found that was so awesome is called “Go 2 It.” I play the ultra-violent version in “God mode,” which gives me the most bang for my buck with no consequences for my inability to actually survive the level legitimately. The sheer chaos on the screen makes me giggle.

This episode brought about a million lyrics from ‘80s pop songs to mind, but I decided to name-check a super-obscure Duran Duran B-side. You know, to bolster my street cred.

Here is what I said last week about the preview for this week’s episode:

As CTU is tracking the “drone” plane that houses one of the suitcase nukes, it is clear to them that someone within CTU is manipulating the action. Is this when they finally play the Nadia/Milo card? Does Nadia sell Milo down the river? Of course she does. Isn’t that what he’s been here for all this time?

As usual, I got it half right. Nadia was indeed fingered as the internal leak that is supplying the satellite intel to the Russian flight simulator, but she maintains her innocence, and has the nerve to dismiss Milo for not believing her. And knowing “24,” it’s safe to assume that she is indeed innocent. They did allow one new girl have a speaking line in this episode. Maybe she’ll be outed as the mole next week. And as much of a cocky jerk as the Ricker is, and as much as he seemed to enjoy choking Nadia, I don’t believe he has the technical savvy to pull such a stunt, his lust for hurting people be damned. Maybe Milo set her up? That’d be a surprise, but it would also be a cheat. Given Eric Balfour’s reputation as a show-killer of Ted McGinley proportions, it’s safe they’re not about to make him a bad guy. It’s one thing to do something that no one expects, but it’s another entirely to do it solely because no one will expect it. Ask David Lynch about that, he knows all about cheating in his movies.

Senator Roark, meanwhile, is one step away from off ripping his clothes, jumping on the table in a crouched position, beating his chest with his fists, shrieking, “WAR! WAR! WAR!” at the top of his lungs, and throwing a pile of feces at Karen Hayes. He’s using the same logic that a high school teacher of mine used once to give me and a classmate a zero on an exam. His proof: we couldn’t prove that we weren’t cheating. Very clever, Mr. Steve Clippinger. Why didn’t you ask me when I stopped beating my girlfriend while you were at it?

Anyway, Roark is doing the same thing, blatantly fitting his square-peg, square-peg, square, square, peg “Killing an Arab” policy into whatever round hole he can find, even when he’s told at every turn that what he’s doing is fucking nuts and he himself knows that he’s making gross assumptions in order to make his case. It all seems like a whole lot of time-killing bluster when you consider the timeline: it’s dark, and the day/season ends in ten hours, which means that this is going to end before you see any daytime shots of riled-up citizens arguing about the civil rights of the Muslim community or the backlash from bombing Fayed and Dr. Bashir’s homeland. It’s all a distraction, people. Let’s move on.

Now, what to make of this whole ‘Audrey is dead’ thing? Is it true? My first instinct was to say that it was bogus, but we have to remember that when they were writing these episodes, they had no idea if “The Nine,” the new show of Audrey Raines actress Kim Raver (who showed all kinds of skin that you only wished she had shown on “24”) was going to be picked up. As it turns out, the show was canned – which is too bad, because it had its merits despite a lack of longevity as a series – so they have the liberty of either leaving her in the ground or bringing her back. And given the number of unanswered questions on the show, I would bet on her showing up in just enough time to make Heidi Petrelli jealous. Speaking of which, was anyone else surprised to see her make a pass at Jack within the confines of CTU? Dr. Romano’s body’s still warm, for crying out loud.

Here’s what I want to know, though, stat: Farmer Hoggett left his son with a cell phone that had President Buck Buck Brawwwwk’s number. Why hasn’t anyone investigated a link between Hoggett and Former President I.M. Weasel? In fact, given that Jack now knows that his father was partially responsible for not only the current day’s events but the assassination of his boy David Palmer – not to mention the framing of Jack for said events – why the hell isn’t CTU using every exhaustible resource to find Hoggett? It’s as if he flew to another planet or something. He’s in Los Angeles, you halfwits! Go get him!

Also, what about the shady group that Mr. Hilary Swank works for? They were the ones that set this whole plan in motion, after all. Don’t think for a second that we’ve forgotten that. Sometimes I feel as though the writers of “24” treat us like cats, that they can jangle keys in our face and we’ll forget about whatever we were thinking about beforehand. That’s not a smart tactic, since cats are fickle and will forget your precious show when they lose interest. All hail the fickle cats!

The title is a reference to the fact that the Russians were scouring their locked-down embassy for an at-large Jack (nice use of a belt on his part, but shame on both the guy assigned to kill him and the guy watching them both on VIDEO for not seeing Jack grab the belt in the first place), and when they finally checked out the room that he was in, they didn’t find him. Why? Because they never look up (Jack was hiding in the ceiling). Basically, Jack’s playing Quake while everyone else is playing Doom. And Jack’s in God mode. Is there a God mode in Quake? I just found a level called Cyberden in the Plutonia version of Doom, and it’s freaking sweet.

All right, show of hands: who’s having a hard time taking the Ricker (nickname courtesy of my “Silver Spoons”-watching wife) seriously? That whole brash, bow-to-me-or-be-reassigned thing was the most pompous performance in CTU history. Not even Chappelle (R.I.P.) was that much of a blowhard, and he blew hard. Even better, did you like his decision not to use body armor during the assault on the Russian embassy? Hell, even Jack wears a vest. What you tryin’ ta prove, son? Whatever it is, nobody cares, and once Jack is back at CTU, you can bet that he will give him the verbal equivalent of an open-hand slap in the mouth. Heck, when you’re actually rooting for Milo over anyone, there’s something wrong.

Senator Roark, meanwhile, has onions so large that he carries them around in a wheelbarrow. He strong-arms the Biscuit into backing his “Killing an Arab” policy, despite the fact that the senator himself knows that the Muslims were not responsible for the attack on the President. I thought for sure that the Biscuit would tell the truth when Roark asked him to lie, but this time, he caved. Perhaps he, like the rest of us, pondered what kind of beatdown Powers Boothe could give Peter MacNicol in real life, and thought twice about it. Does President Palmer even come back this year? After all, we only have 11 hours left. Would they ever allow a Commander-in-Chief to resume office that soon after an assassination attempt?

Lastly, we get to former President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk and the former First Lady of Crazy. Martha has a new boy toy, and it is no other than – bow chicka bow bow – Old Yeller. I had severe problems with this, since I figured their relationship, as First Lady and bodyguard, was a close one, but not intimate, we’ll-have-sex-as-soon-as-I-get-to-the-funny-farm intimate. Shows what I know about politics. If there is one thing I know about women – and man, do I know this – it’s that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, especially a batshit crazy one. With all of the camera shots of a knife here and a knife there, I was surprised that Martha didn’t telepathically send 20 knives flying into Chicken Little’s torso “Carrie”-style. Instead, she only needed one, and her response of “They should make me a hero” was blackly funny.

For those who don’t want to know about next week’s episode, stop reading here, but there was something that gave me hope that they had not completely underestimated our intelligence. As CTU is tracking the “drone” plane that houses one of the suitcase nukes, it is clear to them that someone within CTU is manipulating the action. Is this when they finally play the Nadia/Milo card? Does Nadia sell Milo down the river? Of course she does. Isn’t that what he’s been here for all this time?