Author: David Medsker (Page 30 of 65)

…and I couldn’t have picked a better time. Seriously, who knew that doves, when injected with adrenaline, turned into ravenous, psychotic vultures?

Other questions that sprang to mind:

– How many lines did Chloe have this week?

– Why would Miss Gredenko agree to have his own forearm cut off in order to help Fayed escape, only to rat out Fayed’s identity in a bar, then fall to his (supposed) death underneath the pier? As escape plans go, that one, as they say in “Meet the Robinsons,” was not well thought out.

– How many more hours before Senator Roark squashes the Biscuit like a bug?

– Where the hell are President Buck Buck Brawwwwk and Farmer Hoggett?

And lastly…

– Is there any way they can save this season? I’m not saying the show is over — they’ve endured worse story lines than this — but they’re going to need a really special ending (I’m still hoping for a videotape of David Palmer explaining how Wayne isn’t half the innocent he’s perceived to be) in order to wow us.

I now open the floor to you, good readers. Discuss. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go play with my son. See you next week.

Stupid TiVo. I usually plop in front of the TV around 20 minutes into each episode so we can skip the commercials, and as we did it tonight, we noticed that the record light was not on. The DVR thought it was recording the show, only…it wasn’t. “This show is not currently available,” it said. Nor will it ever be. If I were Jack, this is the moment where I’d say “Dammit,” and then torture the dog down the street.

The first thing I see is Jack talking with Brady, who has some kind of learning disability. He’s supposed to give a flash drive to Gredenko in the place of his injured turncoat brother, who’s now helping CTU. Lord have mercy, how many times have they sent newbies to do drops with the FBI’s Ten Most Wanted? For a second, I thought they were going to have Brady suffer an accidental death, but then I realized: they can’t kill the mentally challenged kid. That’s bad karma. Torturing the shit out of Arabs, that’s cool. But you can’t cap the slow guy.

They then cut to the brouhaha over the wrongfully imprisoned Nadia, whose PC was being accessed by remote, therefore absolving her of any wrongdoing. Everyone apologizes to Nadia, Milo shares a painfully awkward and forceful kiss with her, and then everyone gives Nadia her space…

…and Nadia’s about to make them pay for it. Capitalizing on the white guilt they all feel for doubting her, Nadia is in the perfect position to begin the sinister second phase of her infiltration for Fayed. No one would dare question her motives now, for fear of being branded a racist. Even better, she can manipulate Milo nine ways to Sunday for “doubting” her, even when he was absolutely right in the first place and had no idea. Oh man, is this sweet.

For the record, I don’t really think that Nadia will kill Bill Buchanan. I just couldn’t resist the tie-in.

“Let me ask you a question. If I were Commander in Chief and suffered a debilitating accident that left me borderline comatose, what would you do?”

“I’d have you removed from office on the grounds that you were unfit to run the country, then I would hire a covert ops group to have you killed and set up some Islamic extremist group for the fall. Lastly, I’d piss all over your grave and leave a flaming bag of dogshit at your sister’s front door every day for the next 20 years.”

“Congratulations, Noah, you’re my running mate.”

What, the, fuck. This is the most glaring problem with “24” this year. Never in a million, billion, bazillion years would a dove like Wayne Palmer have a warmongerer like Senator Roark as his second in command. Roark clearly doesn’t want to relinquish his authoritah, and that’s understandable. Still, he’s not as smart as Wayne, and Wayne will find a way to make him pay for his transgressions. It’s going to be sweet to watch, even if it kills my Season Five conspiracy theory once and for all.

So what did I miss in the first 20 minutes? Did former President Buck Buck Brawwwwwk bite in en route to the hospital? Did the First Lady of Crazy kill herself out of grief, or craziness posing as grief? Is Old Yeller out for revenge, dunh dunh duuuuuuuunh? Or did they do what I suspect they did, and ignore those plot threads altogether? And don’t forget that Farmer Hoggett is still in play. Did Mark work for Farmer Hoggett? I really don’t know as I’m typing this. Stupid TiVo.