Month: December 2008 (Page 5 of 11)

Prison Break 4.15: “Going Under”

All right, I just want to get this prediction out of the way: the woman on the phone – you know, the “other buyer” – she’s Lincoln and Michael’s mom. Has to be. That would be the only explanation for all the “other patient” talk the last couple of weeks and the introduction of the Tombstone II folder. As soon as I heard the woman’s voice on the phone, a light bulb blinked on.

Anyway, this was kind of a clunky episode as the series tries to reposition itself for a stretch run now that Scylla is complete. After the representative’s saucy (and completely inappropriate) “nothing more than a fancy box…(look at Gretchen)…speaking of…” comment, Don and Gretchen got a look at the data on the device and based on Michael and Sara’s later conversation, Scylla is more about renewable energy than anything else. Clearly, this would be a VERY profitable thing to get one’s hands on, so it will be interesting to see if Michael (or, in this case, Lincoln) can be the one to bring renewable energy to the world.

(In the interests of full disclosure: When I first saw Michael drawing boxes around B – AR – GA – IN, I thought they were states. Not “B” obviously, but Arkansas, Georgia and Indiana. I am a fool.)

“The salesman said that if I stare at this long enough, I’ll eventually see a unicorn.”

We had another classic “Prison Break” moment when the buyer’s representative pulled a gun on Gretchen and Don, and instead of just shooting them, he explained, “I’m sure you understand that no one can know where Scylla is going.” Why is this explanation necessary? Why does he care if the people he’s trying to kill understand why he’s trying to kill them? Isn’t enough for the American viewing public to accept the fact that there’s a lot at stake here and that buyers and sellers are going to try to double-cross each other when they have the chance? That moment was totally ridiculous.

Meanwhile, Mahone is once again on the run after his former partner (and love interest?) let him escape. I have no idea where this is going. Mahone could attempt to reunite with Lincoln and Michael or he could go visit his wife (though surely that would be the first place that the Feds would look). Strangely, Sucre also seems to have left the story, at least for now. Maybe the two are going to reunite in Mexico and get a jump start on that scuba shop everyone keeps talking about.

From what the General said to Lincoln, it sounds as if he has to work with Gretchen, Don and T-Bag in order to find Scylla. Once again, the show has doubled back upon itself and reshuffled the deck. My guess is that the next several episodes will follow this new group (with Michael and Sara joining them soon) as they try to hunt down the new buyer (a.k.a. the brothers’ mother). Whoopee!

Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget

This should have been explosive. Bob Saget, who made nine figures pimping some of the blandest television ever created, is in fact one of the filthiest comics on the planet. Comedy Central lines up nothing but comedians – and Cloris Leachman, who steals the show – to roast him, which means there are theoretically no dead spots in the lineup, right? Wrong. The comedians on the dais are the weakest batch that Comedy Central has ever assembled for a roast, to the point where Carrot Top’s bit during Flavor Flav’s roast looks better and better in retrospect. Jon Lovitz tanked, Brian Posehn just isn’t wired to roast, and Norm McDonald, arguably the funniest guy on the dais, deliberately tanked his routine, going old-school clean to counter Saget’s inherent foulness. Lastly, the grand roastmaster Lisa Lampanelli is not present, and she is sorely missed. John Stamos actually does a great job as host, and Saget’s rebuttal is second only to Leachman (to Brian Posehn: “Man, look at you. Did any lesbians survive the fire?”). Still, this had the potential to be much funnier than it is. Pity.

Click here to buy “Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget”

Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles 2.13 – In this world, we’ve got to find the time for the (death) of Riley

So this is how the second season of “Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles” was supposed to end.

It’s the 13th episode, which is all they were originally supposed to make when the season began. And this is how they were going to end it…with three episodes that practically stood still. The episode fades to black with Sarah passing out from a gunshot wound, but then they follow it with scenes from the show’s second half (it relaunches in February), and we see that Sarah is very much alive. Exactly how she’s alive, I’m not sure, since she went into that warehouse by herself and didn’t tell anyone where she was. It reminds me of something someone said to my wife when she was trying to carry a bunch of luggage through the London tube station by herself: “You are either very brave, or very foolish.” Sarah’s tough, but this was just dumb.

We finally get Riley’s back story, and man, what a disappointment that was. She goes from feral street rat in the future, to undercover mark assigned to seduce John Connor, in what seems like a matter of weeks. I can see why Jesse would choose someone that doesn’t fight for the resistance (thus making it less likely any fellow Resistance members would recognize her), but surely there was someone more appropriate for the job, right? And would Riley really go from having doubts about the assignment to committing suicide in John’s bathroom? Really? We all knew that Riley was going to die sooner or later, but suicide? That’s just lazy. I would rather have seen Riley try to confess everything to John, only to have Jesse kill her before Riley could rat her out. It’s cliche, but that would have been much more tragic. As it is, John’s only take-away from this is, “Man, that Riley was a crazy bitch.” Methinks the Future John is now even more into Cameron than he was when Jesse and Riley traveled back in time in the first place.

“Hi, I’m a slightly unstable, combat-ready paranoid who sees these three dots everywhere. Oh, and I’m going to get you killed before all is said and done.”

Sarah, meanwhile, is hanging out with a cross-dressing Man Who Knows Too Much, in a blind pursuit of the three dots. She finishes her quest, of course, but not before getting both the cross-dresser and the hypno-therapist she recruits to open his mind killed in the process. Wouldn’t you have thought, after the first attempt on their lives at his/her storage facility, that Sarah would have realized that taking Abraham into the city was not a good idea? Nope. Instead, she brings him back for an “emergency” session with the clearly busy therapist. Who does that? “Excuse me, I need you to fix my car.” “Well, we’re very busy, so you’ll have to make an appointment.” “Nope. It’s an emergency.” “You heard the man, get these cars out of here and get to work on his problem.” Uh, sure.

Ellison and Cromartie/John Henry finally return, and while it has the makings of an interesting dynamic, I’ll stop short of saying that thie will actually lead to something interesting. This show has been nothing but missed opportunities, so there is no guarantee they will follow through on this one. Still, they did hint in the previews that John Henry eventually figures out that Catherine is a machine, which means that Ellison’s concern that John Henry will grow far too powerful to be controlled may will indeed come to fruition. Speaking of Catherine, she had the episode’s best line: “Cows are more powerful than humans, but I’d still rather be the farmer with the rifle.” Curious choice of phrasing, since you could argue that in her mind, we’re the cows, and she’s the farmer with the rifle. However, if the show doesn’t get its ass in gear in February, “Terminator” will be the cow, and Fox will be the farmer with the rifle.

Reports indicate that when Fox brings back “Terminator” in February, it will be moved to the Kevorkian death slot of Friday night. If that is indeed the case, this will likely serve as my last blog on the show. Thanks to everyone who read my rants (quickest way to hate a show: start blogging about it), and here’s hoping that the producers of the show finally get it right in the new year.

Heroes 3.13 – When They Said to Choose A Side, It Made You Want To Hide

First things first: Hayden Panetierre is not a great actress. When her time on “Heroes” has finally come to a conclusion, I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that she ends up doing the straight-to-video or TV-movie circuit for the remainder of her career. I’ve been wrong before on guessing people’s ultimate career fates, but having watched the scenes tonight where Claire and Sylar are battling over the intercom, I’m feeling pretty good about this one. With precious few exceptions, she just can’t seem to deliver a menacing line without making it sound like the height of cliche…which it is, of course. But a better actress could’ve made it sound cool, while her delivery just made me groan.

I was way disappointed with how little action we got out of HRG’s plan to release the villains to serve as chum. In the end, it basically just felt like an excuse to break out the Puppet Master again…not that there’s anything wrong with that. But even that didn’t pay off. You knew the showdown between Sylar and the Puppet Master was going to turn out poorly for the latter, but I was hoping for at least a little more action than just Sylar asking, “You think you can control me?” Bam, Puppet Master’s strings are cut. Boring.

Sorry to see Claire’s biological mom go, as I kind of liked her, but once she got that shot of adrenaline, I figured she wasn’t long for this world, and I was right.

Finally, Tracy breaks out her powers again…and, subsequently, Knox breaks into a whole bunch of little pieces. It was a nice and shocking moment, to be sure. We really only got one other Tracy moment that’s worth discussing, but it was arguably the best scene of the episode: her encounter with Hiro. First, Tracy’s David Spade impression made me laugh (“And you are…?”), then she called Hiro “Pikachu,” which earned a giggle, but then Hiro offering an apology followed by a sock in the face was almost as funny as Daphne’s expression thereafter.

Speaking of Daphne, when she said, “And you were there, and you were there,” all I could think was, “Hello, ‘Wizard of Oz’ reference,” and the same went for “A Few Good Men” when Sylar screamed, “Tell me the truth!” Was this intentional? Were there more unabashed line thefts that I missed…?

Who doesn’t enjoy the opportunity to see George Takei wielding a sword again? There wasn’t really much to that scene, except to get a good laugh out of the father/son battle and to finally show the moment where the formula was torn in half, but, again, it’s George Takei wielding a sword.

Overall, I was really only “meh” about this episode. The scenes with Nathan and Peter were just more brotherly bickering, the conversation between Sylar and Mama Petrelli had limited emotional heft, given that we knew full well that she wasn’t his mother, and the whole subplot about Ando developing his time-travel-related ability was just plain ridiculous. Frankly, I’m glad to see PrimaTech finally go up in smoke; it’s about time we got more of a look at the heroes and villains outside of the same world they’ve always been centered around.

Then again, maybe I’m just tired.

Stephen King releases annual Best Films list, no one cares

Horror author Stephen King is not a film critic; he’s a fan. In fact, he’s mentioned this several times over the course of his last few years writing for Entertainment Weekly, so why does the entertainment mag publish his expectedly crappy list every year? Who the hell knows, but between gushing about his man crush on Jason Statham and his totally serious statement that Samuel L. Jackson deserves an Oscar nomination for his work in “Lakeview Terrace,” here’s hoping it’s the last time it does.

stephen king

King isn’t completely oblivious when it comes to good movies – his Top 3 consists of “The Dark Knight,” “Slumdog Millionaire” and “WALL*E” – but the rest of his list is laughable at best. “Funny Games”? “The Ruins”? “Death Race”? Look, there’s nothing wrong with liking these movies, but there’s a big difference between enjoying them and declaring them one of the best movies of the year. Click here for the full list, where you can read all about why each film made the cut.

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