Year: 2006 (Page 105 of 228)

You must be pulling my udder…

In this week’s “Answer Man” column, Roger Ebert receives an E-mail from a reader who just heard about the upcoming animated film, “Barnyard,” and is concerned that America’s already-existing reputation on the world front as being full of a bunch of dimbulbs will only be made worse by the fact that “the brain trust behind this movie spent a fortune to animate ‘cows’ with very prominent udders — all of which are dubbed with MALE VOICES.”

Indeed, Ebert confirms this. “Good gravy! I looked at the trailer, and saw a cow, its udder clearly visible, speaking in a male voice. The cows in the movie include Otis (Kevin James), Eddie (S. Scott Bullock), Budd (John DiMaggio) and Ben (gravel-voiced Sam Elliott). There is one girl cow, Bessie, voiced by Wanda Sykes. I’d like to hit Bessie for the 411 on wassup up with those he-cows.”

You just know that there’s some producer surrounded by yes-men who said, “Nobody knows that only female cows have udders, am I right?”

You bet, C.B.!

Deathwatch: George Hearst

I can’t imagine that George Hearst is long for Deadwood. His enemies seem to be growing by the day, while he only requires the protection of a single bodyguard. What’s stopping someone from sticking a knife into his heart at one of these meetings he’s so fond of having? Ellsworth hates him. Bullock hates him. Swearengen hates him. Cy hates him, and he has to work for him. So who will kill him? The odds are that Swearengen or Cy will do the deed, but something tells me that it will be one of the more honorable types that will take Hearst down.

My head is spinning from all of the subtext in the show’s dialogue. These people continue to speak politely to each other while there is thunderous anger under the surface. Take, for instance, Alma’s first meeting with Hearst. Ellsworth can’t stand the man, and can’t keep his emotions in check. Alma is embarrassed and she and Hearst continue to speak politely to each other, ignoring Ellsworth’s ramblings. In their next meeting – this one without poor Ellsworth – Hearst’s anger at Alma’s financial proposal was palpable. He told her he was offended, insulted her and then threatened her, all without any overt action. Moments later, when Bullock sees Alma in the thoroughfare, he knows – just from Alma’s expression – how her meeting with Hearst went. Creator David Milch had a similar writing success with “NYPD Blue” – you just knew how Andy Sipowicz was going to react towards any given situation. The subtext on “Deadwood” is just as dense, if not more.

Brian Cox joined the cast tonight, playing a character with a long history with Swearengen. This promises to be an interesting on-screen relationship as Cox is built for this type of supporting role. As far as I can tell, his character came into camp independently of Hearst’s group, so he might be a bit of a wild card.

Also, one observation of Trixie: she seems to be in Al’s pocket, but her interactions with Sol Star indicate that her feelings for him run deeper than she lets on. How she comes to terms with this should be one of the more compelling storylines of this, the final season. I also hope that Joanie and Jane have more of an impact on the camp’s happenings in the weeks ahead.

Party of Five

With Carl Spackler out of commission this week, I took on the difficult task of discussing the latest episode of “Entourage.” I say “difficult” because, with only 20-odd minutes of show airing each week, the writers always seem to find plenty of room to cram in as much story as possible. And with that said, it’s really no surprise to see that they’ve also managed to slide in a whole another character that is sure to stir things up in the coming weeks. In fact, New York bad boy (and childhood friend) Dom has already begun to make a dent on Vince and his crew, showing up uninvited at the house after the boys returned from a celebratory dinner with Ari. Released from prison on probation, Dom doesn’t take long to jump into the game, single-handedly taking over everyone’s duties (cooking, driving, etc.) in one afternoon.

Luckily, Vince seems to have found a new task for the bullheaded criminal – head of security – and while the rest of the guys make an appearance alongside Vince for the opening of the new Aquaman ride at Six Flags, they’re not too pleased with the decision. This probably isn’t a good move on Vinnie’s part (there’s a reason the character was introduced this season), and I don’t doubt for one second that Dom will be causing some serious damage to Vince’s career.

Meanwhile, Ari’s got some problems of his own. About three feet’s worth. A little brat named Max (who also happens to be the star of “Young 21 Jump Street”) is wooing his only daughter, and while she appears smitten with the pint-sized actor, Ari has more important things to worry about than a child actor dating his little girl. And while Ari didn’t play as big of a role in this week’s episode, the money scene of the night still goes to him. While spying on his daughter during her late night chat with Max on AOL Instant Messenger, Ari decides to sneak into her room and steal her laptop. His reasoning? His laptop is “on the fritz.” Classic. Then again, it’s also not a bad parenting move.

Box Office Roundup: Finger finger, trigger trigger, click click. Click click click.

Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:

1) Click: $40 million (first week)
That’ll be the sound you hear when this movie is played on broadcast TV.
2) Cars: $22.5 million ($155.9 million, third week)
As Fillmore says, respect the classics. Like “Finding Nemo” and “The Incredibles.”
3) Nacho Libre: $12.1 million ($52.7 million, third week)
Go listen to Jill Sobule’s song “Mexican Wrestler” instead. It’s better and takes only four minutes.
4) Waist Deep: $9.5 million (first week)
You can put his name on the marquee, but that doesn’t mean that Tyrese Gibson is an actor.
5) The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift: $9.2 million ($42.6 million, second week)
It figures that Vin Diesel would express interest in his old franchise right as it’s grinding to a halt.

Aaron Spelling has died.

I’m not even going to attempt to write a proper obituary for this television legend. (Read this one if you must.) I’ll just list some of the shows he’s been involved in as producer or executive producer; that alone should explain why you offer him the respect he’s due and offer him an appropriate farewell.

Daniel Boone
The Mod Squad
The Rookies
S.W.A.T.
Starsky & Hutch
Family
Charlie’s Angels
The Love Boat
Fantasy Island
Vega$
Hart to Hart
Dynasty
T.J. Hooker
Hotel
Beverly Hills 90210
Melrose Place
The Heights
Charmed
7th Heaven

How’s that for a resume?
Adios, Aaron; thanks for the lifetime of reruns you leave behind.
Oh, yeah, and for Tori, too, I suppose…

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