Last night’s “American Idol” results show had its moments, but none worse than the last few minutes of the episode. Somebody needs to get a handle on things, and fast, because it’s peoples’ lives they are messing with. More on that in a bit.
First of all, when they introduced the judges last night, Paula Abdul was wearing these latex gloves. Was she going to give Simon a prostate exam after the show? Because that’s surely what it looked like. Call her Paula the Proctologist, or to use a “Seinfeld” term, “Asswoman.”
Then they joked about the theme of the show Tuesday, which had the contestants singing songs from the year in which they were born. They razzed Simon Cowell about how old he was, showing a video of a young Frankie Avalon singing “Venus” from that very year. Then they surprised us all by bringing Frankie out live to sing the same song. Dude looks good, like he probably stopped aging around the time all of the current contestants were born. Anyway, Frankie let us all know that the year was 1959, which means Mr. Cowell is going to be 50 this year. That’s October 7 for all of you celebrity gossip hounds.