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Frozen

An audience favorite at this year’s Sundance Film Festival, Adam Green’s “Frozen” will likely elicit one of two reactions: nail-biting suspense or unintentional laughter. It all depends on how much you buy into the movie, because while it’s a pretty frightening concept, it relies too often on absurd variables and bad decisions from its characters to be effective. The story is simple: a trio of skiers (Kevin Zegers, Shawn Ashmore and Emma Bell) are stranded on a chairlift and forced to choose between a potentially fatal escape and freezing to death. And since it’s Sunday night and the ski resort doesn’t open again until Friday, they don’t have the option of waiting around for rescue.

So what would you do? That’s the big question, because whether you like the movie or not, “Frozen” will almost always lead to a conversation about what you might have done differently in order to survive. One of the biggest problems with the film, however, is that none of it feels very real. While I’m willing to give any horror thriller a certain amount of freedom to be impractical (it’s the nature of the genre), “Frozen” is too ridiculous at times. The characters constantly complain about the cold weather and the likelihood of getting frostbite, and yet they never once consider zipping up their jackets for more protection. (Because then we wouldn’t be able to see their pretty faces.) And don’t get me started on the pack of wolves that just happen to be roaming around a public ski resort. It’s stuff like this that sucks the tension right out of the movie, and it’s ultimately what keeps “Frozen” from being as terrifying as its inventive premise promises.

Click to buy “Frozen”

Premium Hollywood after Dark meets “The Reefer Man”

An excerpt from the oddball, and still sadly unseen by me, pre-Hays Code 1933 science fiction comedy, “International House” which has one of the most interesting movie casts ever, including comedy legends like W.C. Fields, George Burns and Gracie Allen, singer and underrated comic actor Rudy Vallee (“The Palm Beach Story,” “How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying”), Bela Lugosi, who I’m sure was really funny, and the great musician and performer Cab Calloway. The oddly prophetic plot involves a bunch of folks descending on a Chinese hotel to bid on a strange new invention called “television.”

Seeing as we have an initiative on the ballot, Proposition 19, that might legalize marijuana here in California, this particular movie moment seems appropriate for a Saturday evening. We don’t advocate illegal activities here at PH, but if you happen to be in Amsterdam or past the three mile limit in the manner of the late William F. Buckley, don’t let us stop from doing what you were probably going to be doing anyway.

Thanks to my buddy, Wes, for putting this on his Facebook page where I could steal it. I’m sure he also doesn’t advocate or condone illegal activities. On the other hand, he serves martinis on the rocks, which is a crime against urbanity, I tells ya!

Premium Hollywood after dark…way after

It won’t surprise regular readers that I refuse to look at or post the teaser trailer for the sequel to a certain “extreme” horror movie whose existence I have only recently even acknowledged here, having lost my battle to unthink its very premise. You know where to find it, anyway. Yet, I feel no compulsion at all in posting the trailer for what we’re assured is the most controversial porn parody of all time.

Yes, courtesy of master fornicator and pornmaker Tom Byron comes, you guessed it. “The Human Sexipede: First Sequence.” 100% medically inaccurate, let’s hope. The trailer is not, itself, pornographic, of course. However, it’s clearly not to be shown within a thousand miles of kids and is also not safe for work, unless you work somewhere where it wouldn’t be bad to hear a guy shout “Fuck like you have never fucked before bwa-ha-ha-ha!” in a really corny German accent.

H/t Film Drunk. And, yeah, this is much funnier than the “Vampire Sucks” trailer. Make of that what you will.

Mubarak ho, Mr. “Robot”-o

Though there’s been some bombshell television news today, it’s been a blissfully slow news 48 hours regarding the movie world. True, Mike Fleming had a couple of scoops yesterday. His short list of possible “Superman” directors is fun — I’ll take Duncan Jones please, though Matt Reeves would be okay, too.  Also, though I remain impressed by her work, having just seen another terrific performance by Chloe Moretz at a screening last night of “Let Me In,” the fact that she’s got another nice gig as “Emily the Strange” is interesting but not exactly earth shattering. So, I’ll forgo the end-of-week movie news dump.

Instead, we’ll spotlight what have to be the trailers of the day, if not the week. According to Anne Thompson, it apparently started from a tweet by the very busy former “Lost” showrunner Damon Lindelof, who’s heading to India and will be checking out what has to be one of the most lavish Bollywood films ever in terms of effects. It’s a superheroic science fiction tale involving, well, a robot, a giant snake thing, an enormous number of guns, and, of course, big time musical numbers! Here’s the short trailer and some brief TV spots Thompson ran.

Also, just about the time Thompson put up her post, I was alerted by friend-of-the-blog-and-blogger Randy R. to a another, slightly more musical comedy oriented trailer that was running on the site of Ms. Thompson’s comics counterpart, Heidi MacDonald.

Gotta love Bollywood: something for everyone.

Just for the record, “Robot” is directed by Shankar (though it’s such a common name I’m not 100% sure if this is the same Shankar who crafted the hugely popular  “3 Idiots,” though it seems like a reasonable bet) and stars Aishwarya Rai and Rajnikanth who I gather is known as simply Rajni and is a superstar. The music is by A.R. Rahman who is easily the best known composer of Bollywood music here in the West for his terrific work on “Lagaan” and also as the double-Oscar winning composer of the music for “Slumdog Millionaire.”

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