Category: TV (Page 458 of 595)

Jericho, Episode 15: “Well, the first clue was that they pronounced it ‘Semper FEE.'”

This week, Jericho is invaded by…fake Marines! Hey, thank God Johnston used to be a Marine himself, so he can spot their chicanery…!

Okay, I’m just kidding. This was actually mostly…not entirely (more on that at the end of this blog), but mostly a solid episode. When a bunch of guys and gals in USMC uniforms show up at your town hall driving tanks, why would you question that they’re who they say they are? I mean, especially if you’re getting as close to the end of your rope as these townsfolk are. It might’ve been nice if they could’ve stretched it out for more than an episode – it all seemed to move a little too fast, particularly the love connection between Jake and a sweet young Marine named Maggie – but it was an effectively dramatic episode.

The episode scores bonus points for having not one but two laugh-out-loud lines:

1) Mary Bailey gets up in arms when Maggie the Marine comes looking to borrow a transistor from the bar’s jukebox, but Maggie responds, “You’ve got three Spin Doctors CDs in that thing. I’d be doing a public service.”

2) Later, when in a deeply flirtatious discussion with Jake, she sagely observes, “You’ve really got this brooding bad boy thing down, don’t you?”

Mayor Anderson, ever the gloryhound, makes a point of trying to suck up to the Marines…only to be sorely disappointed when he discovers that they aren’t planning to leap to Jericho’s aid. (He also demonstrates that he can’t hold his liquor very well, sounding pretty well soused even before his mayoral predecessor makes a toast before the detachment heads out of town.) Once Jake discovers that they’re a big bunch of fakers, things fall apart in a hurry, and the USFMC are led to the city limits…in a hero’s farewell? Yeah, reasonably, it’s decided that the townsfolk probably draw more from the belief that the government is back together and working to save the country than they would from the news that they’ve been lied to. Let’s just hope that doesn’t backfire…

Hawkins spends the entire episode battling back and forth with his former partner, Sarah, who is keeping his family at gunpoint until he hands over the mysterious package he’s been holding on to…which turns out to be the missing atomic bomb that Hawkins never set off. Possibly not coincidentally, it was intended for the city which the faux Marines claimed was now the center of the US government: Columbus, Ohio. (Are the producers of “Jericho” attempting to curry our favor by giving such importance to the city where Bullz-Eye holds most of its editorial meetings…?) Although it takes too long to finally come to fruition, by the end of the hour, Sarah’s dead and Hawkins’ family is safe…but his wife’s finally had enough; as she departs with the kids, you can tell by Hawkins’ daughter’s tone that she doesn’t expect to see her dad again anytime soon. Things end on an uncertain note: is Hawkins secretly working for the same people that Sarah was answering to…?

In closing, it’s now official: Stanley and Mimi are EXCRUCIATING as a couple! When they were sniping at each other in the early episodes, that was entertaining…but the hackneyed lines they’re spouting nowadays are only getting worse. Seriously, it’s so bad this week that I feel obliged to quote them directly:

Stanley: Not now, Mimi!
Mimi: Like Hell not now, cornhusker!
Stanley: Cornhuskers are from Nebraska; I’m a jayhawk.
Mimi: Mimi: You drive me so crazy, and you know that I can’t stay here forever, but the truth is…I can’t live without you, either.
Stanley: Really?
Mimi: Yes, really!

Cue the music, the big kiss…and the impending waves of nausea. Thank God this subplot was the only piece of crap in an otherwise exemplary episode. I’m not a guy to wish harm even on fictional characters, but, geez, one of those two really needs to buy it sooner than later…and given that the preview for the next episode (arriving in two weeks) indicates that one of the main characters dies, I might just get my wish.

Vote For the Worst More Powerful Than Should Be

Those of you who fear that this Vote For the Worst group that messes with the very fabric of “American Idol” actually has the power to make bad things happen, it’s true. Take a look at their website and by all means, make sure that you send them nasty messages. But more than that, make sure you vote for who you want to win, because these idiots are responsible for keeping that horrible Sanjaya in the competition. There is no other way to explain it, because I can’t remember anyone sucking this badly and hanging around. They are smug and they are troublemakers, and it’s awful to see good talent like Brandon Rogers go home for this reason. Do your part, send Sanjaya home next week (unless Haley is worse, which is entirely possible), and get these morons to stop this insanity.

American Idol: What Is Wrong With This Picture?

Our worst fears were recognized on the “American Idol” results show last night. Brandon Rogers, one of the better male singers in the competition, was sent packing while Sanjaya held on for at least another week. I’m quite fearful that the idiots voting for this non-talent are going to keep him in it for several painful weeks. Nothing other than a joke explains it, because anyone who has ears that work should know the truth, and the judges even battered this kid on Tuesday.

Oh well, that’s why they play the games, and part of the game is having America take control from here.

The show started with a group sing of a Diana Ross song, and it was predictably dripping with processed cheese. Then it was on to business. Lakisha and Gina were declared safe, and then Brandon was sent to the bottom 3. Jordin, Chris Richardson and Melinda were then safe. Melinda got a huge ovation from the studio audience, confirming my belief that she is the frontrunner.

Then Phil was sent to the bottom 3 before Chris Sligh, Stephanie and Blake were sent back to safety. That left Sanjaya and Haley.

But before the announcement, we were treated to an ageless Diana Ross performing “Love You More Today than Yesterday” from her new album of classics.

Then, Haley was sent back to safety, and I’m convinced it’s only because Simon suddenly gave her props. Way to go, Cowell. You apparently were mesmerized by Haley’s legs on Tuesday and paid no attention to her vocal.

So it was Sanjaya, Phil and Brandon in the bottom 3. Phil was sent back, and then I got nervous, because I don’t trust the American voters. And my fears were realized and Ryan Seacrest sent Sanjaya back to safety and wished Brandon luck on his journey home.

I can’t say Brandon didn’t disappoint in the last few weeks, but if you take this competition for what it is, a SINGING competition, then you see where I’m going with this…..Sanjaya does not belong here anymore. Oh well, no sense crying over spilled curry. For Brandon, good luck….you’re going to have a nice career regardless of the outcome, and I think you know it.

To the rest of you, get your dialing fingers ready to vote for everyone by Sanjaya next week if you know what’s good for you, and for all of our ears.

My Doctor’s Father’s Daughter

The big surprise on tonight’s episode of “Lost” may have been the reveal that Jack’s dad also happens to be Claire’s father (making them half-siblings), but for those of you who faithfully read the online forums knew this was coming. Instead, I think that the biggest shocker wasn’t that Jack and Claire are related (in fact, the whole Claire flashback was kind of lame), but that Kate, Sayid and Locke spy Jack playing catch with Tom at the Others’ camp. Is he just playing them, or has he genuinely assimilated into the community? It’s hard to say, though all clues point to the latter, since it’s been mentioned on more than one occasion that the Others aren’t really all that evil.

Nevertheless, the rest of the episode moved along quite well. That is, as long as it wasn’t sulking around the oh-so-pointless Claire and her plans to capture a homing seagull and attach an SOS to its leg. I mean, is that really the best you can offer someone that hasn’t had a character-centric in almost a whole year? Forget Charlie. The writers should just kill Claire, and then we wouldn’t have to listen to her incessant whining. Plus, there’d be at least some solid reasoning behind it: she was saving Charlie. And while we’re on the subject of Charlie’s death curse, am I the only one that finds it odd that Charlie technically should have died when Ethan hanged him in season one? Desmond wasn’t around during the time, and if this death curse is for real, then why did he live?

Whatever the answer, let’s just hope that the writers make the right choice and keep Dominic Monaghan on the show. It would be nice to see the old gang (in which Charlie used to play a seminal part) back together again when Jack is finally “rescued.” And speaking of that, the developing rescue mission has fast become the most interesting aspect of the new season. If Sayid is the new Jack – constantly butting heads with Locke – then who is Rousseau? I vote for Hurley, since neither one seems to be much help.

Anyways, the old theory that Locke is actually evil has officially been thrown back into play after the series of weird events tonight. First, Locke claimed that he didn’t know about the C4 in the basement, but after Sayid finds a block of C4 in his bag, Locke kind of just shrugs it off. Then, he pushes Mikhail into the middle of the invisible sonic fence surrounding the Others’ camp, only to discover that, yes, it still works, sending Mikhail into a seizure of sorts. I guess it was of some help, at least, as it allows the rest of the survivors to devise a way to get over, and now that they have made it to the edge of the camp, they’ve discovered their fearless leader tossing the football around with ‘ol Mr. Friendly. The plot thickens…

Comedy Central: The Web Shows

Seriously, what’s up with Comedy Central constantly going after the lowest common denominator…?

The network is furthering their original broadband programming market by premiering two new series: “Baxter and McGuire” and “Good God.” I don’t think I really need to tell you anything about the former except that it’s an animated show and its title characters are a pair of testicles.

As far as the latter, it’s a live-action series that takes place in the offices of God; there’s a really funny premise there, but its failing comes from being such a slavish attempt at ripping “The Office.” (It also doesn’t help that the first episode is literally potty humor, revolving around the question of whether or not God took a stinky dump in the office bathroom.)

There are, thankfully, others segments in the network’s web repetoire that are worth making note of. “I Love The ’30s” is a spot-on parody of the various decade-spotlighting series on VH-1; its creators also offer “All Access: The Middle Ages,” which is pretty funny as well. “Golden Age,” however, is full-on genius. It’s an animated mockumentary series about what happened to various animated commercial icons after their careers went downhill; the first episode involves a cereal spokesperson (think Sonny the Cuckoo Bird) who goes insane, kills three children in his rampage to get his favorite cereal, and is now living a quiet life in a sanitarium. “Guacamole” has its moments, with dialogue ostensibly coming from various food items, like a cabbage, a can of soup, and, yes, a container of guacamole. The only thing worth recommending about the surreal “Tiny Hands,” however, is that David Cross appears in its first episode.

Check out ComedyCentral.com for a list of all the web shows at your disposal, but, trust me, start with “Golden Age.”

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