In yet another example of movie executives just plain missing the point, the film industry has come out with two new ideas designed to halt the decline in moviegoing. According to MPAA chief Dan Glickman, all that’s needed to put those missing butts back in cinema seats is a good old-fashioned ad campaign promoting the general idea of moviegoing (as opposed to touting specific films). Oh, that, and the ability to prevent moviegoers’ cell phones from receiving a signal while inside the theater.
That’s right, folks: the movies themselves don’t need any fixing. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo was an outstanding piece of filmmaking with widespread appeal; the only reason it didn’t score higher at the box office was because the general public was simply worried about being bothered by cell phone users at the cinema, or needed to be reminded that moviegoing is a generally enjoyable activity.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I hate those drooling inbred halfwits who yap on their phones during movies, and I support any steps taken to curb their inappropriate behavior. I have been known to hurl both expletives and popcorn in their direction, and I would be pleased as punch if the FCC actually grants the theater owners’ wishes to jam cell signals while on theater property. It won’t happen, but it’s a lovely dream.
But if the MPAA actually thinks that a cell-signal jam and a happy-go-lucky ad campaign reminding America how much fun it is to go out to the movies is going to solve the problem, they’re in for a nasty surprise. It was bad enough that they wasted precious Oscar telecast time scolding us for viewing movies on DVD and honoring “movies that should only be viewed on the big screen;” now they plan to waste huge gobs of money on an ill-fated ad campaign, as well. Imagine the results they might get if they instead devoted that time, energy and money into making movies that people actually have an interest in seeing.
Of course, that one’s even more of a long shot than getting the cell-signal jam approved…but Hollywood’s all about making dreams come true, right?
