As if anyone really cares, Sharon Stone will be revealing it all again in Basic Instinct 2. According to the article she’s tired of seeing young starlets getting naked and flaunting their hot-ass bods all over the silver screen. The 48-year-old wants to do it again and prove to someone out there that she’s still hot as well. How seeing Stone’s pubic region again is going to prove this to anyone is beyond me. And besides that, who gives a rat’s about Stone anymore, anyway? Oh so that’s why she’s doing full-blown nude scenes again. I gotcha…
Category: News (Page 373 of 401)
Harrison Ford has reportedly proposed to longtime love Calista Flockhart by placing her engagement ring in a brown paper bag with a cup of coffee and a croissant. Awwww, ain’t that cute? That’s almost as cute as the guy my husband knows who put the ring on top of a can of Budweiser in the fridge and told his then-girlfriend to go get him a beer.
The funny thing is, Harrison was taking quite a risk, there, with that proposal method. I mean, come on: a croissant?! Those things are made of, like, solid butter dipped in lard and rolled in pure cane sugar. There’s no way that Calista, all fifty-five pounds of her, has ever eaten an entire croissant in her life…so how did she find the ring? Either the article was a misprint, and the fancy sparkler was actually buried beneath a 10-calorie Quaker puffed rice cake, or Harrison had to coerce Ally McBeal into picking up the croissant to find the ring by telling her the tasty pastry was actually stuffed with figure-flattering amphetamines.
Peter Tomarken, host of classic ’80s game show Press Your Luck was killed in a plane crash. Now goddammit, this was the best game show of the ’80s! Who didn’t wanna play on the big board of crap? It was to the ’80s what Joker’s Freakin’ Wild was to the ’70s. Every decade needs a game show with a big goofy board to play on. But game shows on network TV seem to be pretty much dead, save for “The Price Is Right,” “Jeopardy!” and “Family Feud.” Man, I miss the good old days of morning TV packed with shitty game shows. And I’m sorry, but Game Show Network doesn’t always do it for me. It was about having different games on at the same time with the power to choose, originally! Not being tied down to the whims of one cable channel!
Thanks for the great game, Peter. The new version of your show sucks ass. You were da king of pressing, baby!
The email had the following subject:
“ISAAC HAYES requests release from ‘SOUTH PARK'”
Obviously, as a huge “South Park” fan, that caught my eye. Here’s what the press release said:
Legendary soul man Isaac Hayes has officially requested a release from his contract with the “South Park” television show, and the Comedy Central cable station. Mr. Hayes has been a cast member of “South Park” since 1997 as the voice of “CHEF”.
Mr. Hayes has decided to part ways with “South Park” because of recent episodes and press that have embarked upon what he feels are inappropriate ridicule of religious communities. While fully acknowledging “South Park’s” right to freedom of speech, Mr. Hayes is disappointed with what he perceives as a growing insensitivity towards personal spiritual beliefs, not only with “South Park” episodes but also the recent Danish cartoon controversy.
“There is a place in this world for satire, but there is a time when satire ends and intolerance and bigotry towards religious beliefs of others begins.” Mr. Hayes adds, “religious beliefs are sacred to people, and at all times should be respected and honored. As a civil rights activist of the past 40 years, I cannot support a show that disrespects those beliefs and practices.”
In all honesty, I’ve expected Hayes to walk away from the show for years; in fact, Trey Parker and Matt Stone said in an interview several years ago that they couldn’t believe Hayes signed on in the first place. The only thing missing from the press release is Hayes calling Parker and Stone “a couple of crazy crackers”.
As for his reasoning, it makes sense considering “South Park” has banged on Catholics, Jews, Mormons and, most recently, Scientologists (in the legendary “Trapped in the Closet” episode). Then again, they’ve been doing that for years. Could the Scientology episode really have been the last straw? Maybe Hayes and Tom Cruise are buddies, I don’t know.
The bigger question here is, what now for Chef? I can’t see Parker and Stone try to carry on the character with new voice talent. It just wouldn’t be the same. Granted, Chef’s profile on the show has diminished since the early days, when you could count on at least one vintage Chef song (“I’m gonna make love to you woman. I’m gonna lay you down by the fire.”) in nearly every episode, one of my personal favorites being “Chocolate Salty Balls.” But using someone else to voice Chef, even in a limited role, would be a disaster.
So the question is, how do they kill Chef off? That’s the only option, isn’t it? Then again, maybe they can get Barry White as a replacement….
David Hasselhoff’s estranged wife is accusing him of domestic violence! He denies the claims, and I have to believe him. After all, this is the man who openly and warmly punishes all with his shows and music. A guy that wound up with alcohol poisoning on a bender and has been in and out of rehab with zero success! A man who’s gearing up for a December release of a “Knight Rider” flick and working to bring “Baywatch” to the big screen as well! I mean, this guy’s life is so rich with opportunity! Who doesn’t wanna dig in to the goodness and purity that is Hasselhoff?
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