Does the world really need a remake of the Burt Reynolds flick, “Sharky’s Machine”? Warner Brothers says, “Hell, yes, it does!”
Okay, so I’m paraphrasing.
The director has even been selected: Phil Joanou, best known for helming U2’s “Rattle and Hum.”
The folks at WB also have remakes of “The Dirty Dozen” and “The Wild Bunch” in the works. Please go see them. If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s original ideas. Only by going to see tepid remakes can you prevent originality.
David Spade and Heather Locklear? OK, hell must have officially frozen over. All I can say is, “what the fuck?” Mr. Spade, I believe I was in line before you. How you managed to not only get in front of me, but also managed to woo Ms. Locklear is beyond me. I hope you enjoy all that hot, greasy sex, you undeserving man. “The Benchwarmers” better be hella good. Yes, I actually just did say “hella.” Christ.
Okay, actually, that’d probably be labelled as overreacting. But the pair of them are surely figuring out some way to extract revenge on the network, as they’ve been passed over for the co-hosting spot on “The Today Show” to be vacated by Katie Couric, in favor of Meredith Vieira, of ABC’s “The View.”
Look, I know she’s a former “60 Minutes” correspondent…but, c’mon, both Brown and Curry have done their time in the trenches; it seems almost a betrayal to them that neither were called up to the big leagues.
I just know this is something to do with a poll of housewives…
After considerable speculation and, in recent weeks, almost certainty from media insiders, Katie Couric confirmed this morning on “The Today Show” that she will be leaving her post as co-anchor.
It is, as she describes it, “the worst kept secret in America” that Couric will be taking over the anchor desk at “The CBS Evening News,” and will also serve as a correspondent for “60 Minutes.”
If you didn’t catch her announcement, click on the link to watch it. Matt Lauer provides a big laugh when, after Katie makes her emotional, heartfelt speech about how sad she is to be leaving but how she’s excited about what the future holds and thankful for everyone’s support, he pauses, then, in a total deadpan, just says, “Also coming up in this half-hour…”
Katie inspires a lot of dislike among people who think she’s too perky for a proper newswoman, but I’ve always liked her, so I was a little bummed to hear that she was departing from “Today.” Hopefully, Ann Curry will get the call-up to co-anchor now…though I’d guess it’s probably a tight race between her and Campbell Brown.
And it’s about time, I say…since, of course, no-one would actually want to be seen in public renting the movie (although, based on its box office take, it should be on shelves by, say, next Tuesday).
No, but, seriously, folks, the studios have finally offered up a solution to those people who say, “Gosh, I’d love to see that film…but the mail box is SO far away, making Netflix an unwieldy proposition at best!” Starting this week, consumers will be able to buy digital versions of films online. No, you can’t burn them onto a disc…though surely some top-notch hacker will figure out a way around that before the weekend…but you can watch them indefinitely in your computer.
I guess this is intended as a way of thwarting those guys who use their handheld cameras to make blurry, off-center bootlegs that they upload to the internet, but, really, how many people who download those versions don’t end up going to rent or buy the legal version when it finally emerges? Or am I just viewing this in my usual naive fashion because I’m probably more of a film purist than Joe Sixpack…?
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