Category: News (Page 369 of 401)

Forget what you learned in History class: All you need to know about the events of the past, present and future has been diligently captured by Paul Kerensa, creator of The Movie Timeline.

For example:

Andy Dufresne was unjustly sent to Shawshank a few short months before someone else was framed: Roger Rabbit.

James Cole of “Twelve Monkeys” was lucky to be locked in a mental hospital upon his return to 1990 from the future; had he shown up in Perfection, Nevada that year instead, he would surely have been nabbed by one of the giant Graboid worms of “Tremors.”

While Ellen Ripley is peacefully enjoying hypersleep (“Aliens,”) the Oracle prophesizes that Morpheus will discover the second coming of The One.

In 1984, the U.S. was invaded by Russians, the Sta-Puf marshmallow man, gremlins, flesh-eating zombies, and a T-800 killing machine from the future. Rough year.

The premise of the site is simple: Everything that ever happened in a movie is fair game for the timeline. Submissions are welcome. Entertainment is guaranteed. Time-wasting is unavoidable. Resistance is futile (okay, that’s a TV reference…but still true).

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Ice Age: The Meltdown: $70.5 million (first week)
Scrat is the best actor in Hollywood, period.
2) Inside Man: $15.6 million ($52.7 million, second week)
I wonder if there really is a statute 36DD.
3) ATL: $12.5 million (first week)
Didn’t Fitty Cent just release this movie a couple months ago? And didn’t that one suck, too?
4) Failure to Launch: $6.6 million ($73.2 million, fourth week)
There are so many jokes you can write involving being naked with bongos.
5) V for Vendetta: $6.4 million ($56.8 million, third week)
Say hello, wave goodbye, Wachowski Brothers.

Proof that there is a god: “Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector” dropped to eleventh place, while “Basic Instinct 2” debuted in tenth place, with a take of $3.2 million. We expect its final number to be even lower.

Proof there isn’t a god: “Slither” got crushed, finishing eighth with a take of $3.6 million.