Or don’t. Poor Dustin Diamond who played “Screech” on TV’s “Saved By The Bell” is trying to raise $250,000 through t-shirt sales so he won’t have to give up his house. Apparently, though, the big news according to this weeks “Best Week Ever” on VH1 was Diamond’s appearance on Howard Stern’s show where he discussed how big his penis is. Certainly he could always go into 1337 prOn if his shitty shirts don’t sell.
Category: News (Page 347 of 401)
Eva Longoria plans to write an erotic novel, according to reports quoted in The Book Standard:
“They offered a huge deal and I like the idea of seeing my book on a shelf,” she said on the website. “The plot’s top secret so far but let’s just say I have a wild imagination.”
Far be it from us to question the erotic power of Ms. Longoria’s “wild” imagination — or the marketability of the end product, for that matter — but we still can’t help wondering whether this latest addition to our nation’s proud literary heritage will include not only a shirtless lawn boy half the heroine’s age, but ALSO a beguilingly feisty parking lot attendant.
Only time will tell.
Yup.
Because everybody wants a piece of Sam’s sweet action, DC Comics is releasing a 2-issue adaptation of the film in August.
And the media juggernaut rumbles on…
Tyler Durden’s wildest dreams just came true: Uwe Boll wants people to kick his ass.
“Ratner? Bay? Please. I am the hackiest McHacksterpants of them all.”
Here’s the deal: Boll is shooting yet another surefire videogame catastrophe — this time the victim is the game “Postal” — and Boll is asking his most vehement detractors to apply for the opportunity to put their money where their mouth is in the boxing ring. Five lucky hatas get ten rounds with Boll, which will be broadcast on the internet in their entirety, with some footage making it into the movie.
I can see it now: Pow! “That’s for ‘House of the Dead!'” Pow! “That’s for casting Tara Reid as a scientist, a fucking scientist!” Pow! “That’s for Ben Kingsley! Ben fucking Kingsley, tainted forever by your stink!”
Baby, you can drive my car
If it’s good enough for Stanley Tools, Texaco and Jack Daniel’s whiskey, it’s good enough for Scientology.
That’s right: the religion that takes a licking and keeps on ticking is headed for the racetrack, with a new team dubbed “Ignite Your Potential” to be sponsored by Dianetics, the book that started it all.
Once the exclusive realm of celebrity multimillionaires, Scientology has officially moved past the “early adopter” stage of the diffusion of innovative quasi-religious pyramid schemes marketing model, and is now embracing the RV-driving, domestic-beer-swilling, hot-dog-eating NASCAR masses.
They may not have the deep pockets of a Tom Cruise or a John Travolta, but their numbers are legion…and what they may lack in solvency, they make up for with mouth-foaming levels of enthusiasm and conformity.
Phase Two of the attack on Dark Lord Xenu has begun…and this time, they’ve got race cars.
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