Based on Sunday’s estimates, courtesy of boxofficemojo.com:
1) Epic Movie: $19.2 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
Kal Pann walks into a White Castle, and says, “I feel like I’ve been here before!” Jesus.
2) Smokin’ Aces: $14.2 million (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)
At least they had the balls to keep Motorhead’s “Ace of Spades” in the movie, even if they pulled it out of the trailer. The movie blows either way, though we did like the dead-guy-as-hand-puppet bit.
3) Night at the Museum: $9.4 million, $216.7 million to date (Will Harris, What’s All This, Then?)\
In its sixth week of release, we officially call a moratorium on bothering to come up with anything snappy to say about a movie that doesn’t deserve the effort wasted on it the first five times.
4) Catch and Release: $8 million
Reel Times’ Mark Pfeiffer said this movie was so bad that it could kill Jennifer Garner’s career entirely. Yikes.
5) Stomp the Yard: $7.8 million, $50.6 million to date (owner: Bill Clark, A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Such an innocuous little pick-up for Bill…and he won the league because of it.
6) Dreamgirls: $6.6 million, $86.6 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
Totally and inexplicably hosed out of a nom for Best Picture. That’s all we have to say on the matter.
7) The Pursuit of Happyness: $5 million, $152.9 million to date (Bill Clark: A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint)
This movie’s a week older than “Night at the Museum.” Next.
8) Pan’s Labyrinth: $4.5 million, $16.2 million to date (Mark Pfeiffer, Reel Times)
Ah, red wine. Drink it, then beat someone’s face to a bloody pulp with the base of the bottle.
9) The Queen: $4 million, $41.2 million to date: $5.9 million (Jason Zingale, Seven Strangers Productions)
Does anyone else think this year’s Academy Awards show is going to be the most predictable, dullest show ever? Is there even any debate over who’s going to win?
10) The Hitcher: $3.5 million, $13.3 million to date (Bill Clark, Don’t Call Me Shirley)
Might we be witnessing the end of the torture-chic, ‘all horror, all the time’ movement? One can only hope.
15) Blood and Chocolate: $2.1 million
Very good, moviegoing public, you got one right. However, you still get 20 rosaries for the success of “Epic Movie.”
Final standings, fall season
1) A Don’t Call Me Shirley Joint: $370.3 million
2) What’s All This, Then?: $324.2 million
3) Reel Times Pictures $316.8 million
4) TSSU Productions: $288.2 million
5) Punch and Pie Pictures: $278.0 million
6) Seven Strangers Productions: $216.9 million
7) Scary Clown Studios: $196.7 million
8) Nights and Weekends: $181.5 million
The Fantasy Moguls League begins anew starting this week, with new studio head Kevin “Chrysler K-Carr” Carr stepping in for TSSU Productions. COFCA Death Squad, rise!
