Well, A Canticle for Leibowitz it ain’t. Then again, Walter M. Miller’s classic science fiction novel didn’t have monsters and CGI-Fu galore, nor did it have Karl Urban as the Vampire With No Name. Oh, and Christopher Plummer is in it!
Well, A Canticle for Leibowitz it ain’t. Then again, Walter M. Miller’s classic science fiction novel didn’t have monsters and CGI-Fu galore, nor did it have Karl Urban as the Vampire With No Name. Oh, and Christopher Plummer is in it!

1. Q: Are you going to have to put Steve on a five second delay on (‘American Idol’)?
Steven Tyler: Fuck, no. (Pauses) I question whether I should have done that just now.
2. Q: So how does it feel to be a Latina on (‘American Idol’)?
Jennifer Lopez: I don’t know how it would feel to be anything else.
3. “Having done ‘The Shield’ and ‘The Chicago Code,’ I’d feel much more comfortable being pulled over by the Chicago PD than the LAPD at this point.” – Shawn Ryan, “The Chicago Code”
4. Q: Can you talk about how you find the voices for new characters like this? Do you work with the producers and they say, “We kind of want this sound,” or do you look at the character sketch and say, “Hey”? How does that work?
Eugene Mirman: We went on a year long walkabout, and then it came to us.
Kristen Schaal: Trying to go get in touch with our, like, spirit animals. Like mine’s a tiger, and I studied tigers for a year.
Eugene Mirman: That doesn’t answer your question at all. We played around in the studio over a period of probably year and a half or two recording and rerecording stuff for this pilot, and sort of, with both us and direction from Loren and FOX, sort of, I think, found the tone and voice, but also I have a spirit animal too.
Kristen Schaal: What is it?
Eugene Mirman: I’m not telling anybody. No one cares.
Kristen Schaal: Sounds like a turtle.
Eugene Mirman: It’s a “minx,” if that’s an animal.
– Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schaal, “Bob’s Burgers”

5. Q: For the showrunners (of ‘Terra Nova’), I have a time-paradox question.
Brannon Braga: Oh, dear God.
Q: Aren’t the people who sent them back, who aren’t going back with them, worried about being fixed out of existence? And what exactly are they hoping to achieve by doctoring the past, and why are the people in the present not worried about being unmade by them?
Brannon Braga: I feel like we’re at a “Star Trek” convention.
6. Q: I have a question about the timeline (of ‘Terra Nova’). 85 million years ago, it seems to me 20 million years from then, there’s a giant asteroid that destroys all life on Earth?
Alex Graves: Yes. The series will not go 20 million years.
Brannon Braga: Let’s just say that they’re acutely aware of that fact and have a plan in mind.
Rene Echevarria: And they have 20 million years to effect that plan.
7. “I take the subway all the time, and when I go on, the first thing I do is I say, ‘Don’t everybody get up. It’s me. It’s Colonel Quaritch from ‘Avatar,’ but keep your seats,’ you know, because I really don’t want to be recognized by people.” – Stephen Lang, “Terra Nova”

8. “I had this idea where it was basically like…I’m pretty responsibile. I work hard at what I do, but I sometimes forget to return DVDs…back when you actually returned DVDs…or I forget to pay parking tickets. Then I realized that, if I just budgeted like $300 a year for the cost of being Bob, like a Bob Tax, that I wouldn’t beat myself up about it or whatever.” – Bob Fisher, “Traffic Light”
9. “(With ‘Lone Star,’) we made a show that we really loved, and we thought that the creators were very talented, and they made an excellent show. I think, for the most part, you guys really believed in the show and liked the show as well. And we put the show on, and not enough people showed up to watch it. And we were very disappointed in that. And it’s the reality of the business that we’re in. It’s intensely competitive. It’s always more competitive year after year. And you make the show — the best shows that you can. The truth is that it failed. It failed to meet the expectations that we had. It doesn’t mean that that we don’t like the show, that we don’t respect the people who made it. Kevin (Reilly) and I talk about this a lot. I’d much prefer to fail with a show that we’re creatively proud of than fail with a show that we’re — I guess ’embarrassed of’ would be one word — that we don’t believe in, that we don’t think has a level of originality and creativity.” – Peter Rice
10. Odette Yustman: I have a love interest (on ‘Breaking In’). I have a boyfriend named Dutch, who is played by the genius Michael Rosenbaum. He’s a supercool guy, and I think that they are going to try to bring him in more throughout the series, but he’s a very interesting fellow. He sells clean urine on eBay. Enough said.
Q: I’ve got to ask because I think this needs to be known: what on earth does anyone do with clean urine? Who would buy it?
Christian Slater: Drug testing.
Bret Harrison: To pass a drug test, yes.
Christian Slater: Drug testing. See, what you do is…well, we can really do a whole lecture here.
In 1962, a bouncing baby franchise was born when superspy assassin James Bond did in the evil “Dr. No.” Now middle aged and needing a bit of exercise to keep its financial heart pumping after nearly five decades of very hard living, the Bond machine survived the end of the Cold War that spawned it, only to be stalled by MGM’s financial morass. Some thought, “It’s a 22 movie run, more if you count a few non-canonical Bond flicks, give it a rest already.” Today, however, Nikki Finke has word that Bond 23 is officially going ahead with star Daniel Craig and the long-rumored Sam Mendes in tow as director. You’ll have your next serving of Bond with your Thanksgiving turkey in November of 2012, assuming nothing untowards happens in post-production.
In 1963, a bouncing baby human being was born in Louisiana. 26 years later, director Steven Soderbergh personally gave the modern day independent film movement one of its biggest kickstarts with 1989’s “Sex, Lies, and Videotape.” Now, he’s announcing officially that he’s packing it only two decades into a career that, at least in theory, could go another four or five.
Though Mike Fleming jokingly pre-accuses him of doing a Brett Favre, movie directors are not sports figures, and, to paraphrase Marcellus Wallace of “Pulp Fiction,” their asses really can age like a fine wine. John Huston, who led the kind of life that might have killed a lesser man in his forties, made one of his greatest films, “The Dead,” when he was pushing eighty and about to be dead himself. Old French New Waver Alain Resnais is scheduled to release a movie more or less to coincide with his 90th birthday, and Portugal’s Manoel de Oliveira released “The Strange Case of Angelica” in 2010, the year of his 102 birthday. (He’s supposedly working on another.) Almost no one, except Matt Damon, seems to be taking Soderbergh seriously about this.
You know what, I’m on board with both moves. James Bond has become far bigger than any one set of filmmakers and, like Sherlock Holmes, Superman, and Mickey Mouse, there’s no reason he shouldn’t keep on chugging along indefinitely in new incarnations. And, given how surprisingly good “Casino Royale” was, I’m willing to let the current James Bond team overcome the disappointment of “Quantum of Solace.” All I ask is for a little more of “From Russia with Love”-era Bond and a little less shaky-cam Jason Bourne.
As for Soderbergh, I’m a fan who admires the fact that he’s unafraid to take risks and make movies that, admittedly, sometimes kind of suck, but always in interesting ways. Re: his impending retirement, I’ve watched too many creators repeat themselves over the years to have anything but respect for his decision. I think it’s possible that we all have only so many stories to tell in a particular way and that, perhaps, when we feel we’re through telling them in one medium, maybe the thing to do is switch to another that might permit new stories to emerge. Later, if we return to the first medium, maybe we’ll then have a new story to tell, or at least an interesting new way to tell it. So, if Soderbergh just wants to spend his life painting, I say, “bless him.” If he gets the urge to start making movies again from time to time and unretires as many times as Frank Sinatra, that’ll be great too. The thing not to do is stagnate.
You don’t find that many shows on prime-time television that can successfully capture all ages of the viewing public, but ABC’s “Wipeout” is definitely one them…you know, provided that you can stand to see grown men and women bust their butts as they try to complete some very outrageous (and significantly foam-covered) obstacle courses. Although now on its fourth season, the show has switched things up a bit for its winter episodes, offering what would appear to be ice and snow – though, given that the proceedings are taped in California, it almost certainly isn’t – as the contestants battle obstacles like the Wipeout Ski Lift, the Polar Bear Run, and…well, you get the idea.
Co-host Jill Wagner and series executive producer were both on hand during the Winter 2011 TCA Press Tour to talk about the show. So, for that matter, was commentator John Henson, but he always seemed to be otherwise occupied when I was free to chat, so we never successfully crossed paths. Still, if you’re going to talk to someone about a show, better to go with the brains behind the outfit…and, of course, the hottest of the co-hosts.
Jill Wagner, co-host
Bullz-Eye: Well, first of all, let me just tell you that I’ve got a 5-year-old daughter who has made “Wipeout” appointment television for the entire family.
Jill Wagner: Yes! I love your daughter! (Laughs)
BE: Well, she is pretty awesome. So how did you come onto “Wipeout” in the first place? I presume an audition was involved, since you have to be both funny and quick on your feet.
JW: You know, it’s funny, because…I was doing commercials for Lincoln-Mercury, and (executive producer) Matt Kunitz had seen me on the commercials, so they called me from them. And I was in North Carolina at the time, and they said they wanted me to fly back for an audition, but I was, like, “I’m with Grandma! I can’t fly back now!” It was some holiday, so I had to stay at home…and they actually wound up having a camera guy come over and shoot my audition at my grandma’s house, interviewing my brother and his two friends. So that was my audition for this show! And I knew that a lot of my friends were also auditioning for it, so I thought, “There’s no way I’m ever gonna get it, because I’m doing it from Grandma’s house!”
BE: Yeah, but maybe that gave you an edge, because it was so different.
JW: Well, the thing is, my brother now credits all my success to him, because he says that his interview was the best, and he made me shine. Which is probably accurate. (Laughs) But I would never tell him that!
BE: Where in North Carolina are you from?
JW: Winston-Salem. Well, my parents are in Winston-Salem.
BE: I’m in Virginia.
JW: I love it! We actually have a house in Gretna, Virginia. I was actually just home for about a month. It’s so nice to just go back and get my fill of my country people… (Laughs) …and then come back out here to La-La Land?
BE: So have you ever been watching the course, seen someone go down, and just thought, “Well, they’re dead. They’re not getting back up”?
JW: Yes! All of the time! I wish the camera would show that half the time I’ve got my hands over my eyes going… (Sucks in breath) “Just don’t tell me, don’t tell me…” And then the person comes up, and they’re laughing! And I’m, like, “What is it, did they hit their head too many times?” You know what? You would be really surprised to see how much foam padding we have on all of those things.
BE: Yeah, Matt was saying that you guys get a bulk discount.
JW: It’s unbelievable. It’s, like, two feet of foam. So it really would be hard for someone to get hurt seriously, and they take it very seriously, so they have medics and everybody standing around, just hoping that no one gets hurt. And it’s been very rare. I think out of 200 people, only two got mildly hurt and had to go to the doctor. But, I mean, that’s a pretty good number for that show, which to the normal person watching it, who’s not on the show, makes you think, “Oh, my God, people are getting really hurt!”
BE: It’s ironic that it plays so well to a family demographic, since it regularly inspires me to curse. I’ll see someone go down, and I’ll be, like, “Oh, shit!”
JW: Well, that’s funny, because that’s what they do. They just have to…I can hear people on the set, and I’m, like, “Pottymouth!” (Laughs) And, of course, that’s what I do out there, too. It’s all in good fun.
BE: Do you find yourself frustrated for people because it’s taking them so long to get through an obstacle?
JW: Oh, yeah. More times than not I’m frustrated because it’s taking them too long to get through it. But I understand that it’s hard, and a lot of these people aren’t athletic at all. So you just have to keep that in mind. It’s, like, “Oh, it’s a grandma who is 53 years old, and she probably hasn’t done anything like this in her life, and she probably doesn’t work out, and the last time she went running was 10 years ago.” You just have to keep that in mind. And then there’s some people who I’m, like, “Oh, they’re never going to make it through there,” and then they blow through it! So I’m surprised every day. I bet on the side. I have my own favorites. Sometimes I lose, sometimes I win. (Laughs)
BE: Who was the contestant that you were most excited to see win?
JW: God, there’s been a lot. You know what? I can’t pick one person. Normally, I really fall in love with all of our characters. They’re really all so different, and you want to root for each one for different reasons. So normally, with the four that we have at the end, usually I’m happy with whoever wins. Unless I’ve bet money on the other one. (Laughs)
BE: A lot of times, you go to silence in lieu of possibly saying something that might offend a contestant.
JW: You know, I have to watch my mouth. Sometimes you have people that are really, really cocky, and…I wish the audience could hear what I hear, because you guys…obviously, they don’t show all of the interview. But there are really some odd comments that we get. (Laughs) To each his own, though. That’s the beauty of our contestants: they’re wacky, they’re crazy, they’re funny. That’s what makes the show. Thank God for them, or I wouldn’t have a job.
BE: For my money, there’s nothing better than a contestant who talks a load of shit, only to slip and bust their ass before they even get to the first obstacle.
JW: (Laughs) My God, I know…and I kind of like that! It’s, like, hey, karma’s a bitch…
Matt Kunitz, executive producer
Bullz-Eye: I was just saying to Jill that my 5-year-old daughter has made “Wipeout” into appointment television for our family.
Matt Kunitz: It’s interesting how…in the ratings last week, they said that we were the #1 2 – 11 year old show all season long so far. (Laughs) But what I love about that…because, obviously, we’re not trying to target 2 – 11 year olds. Everybody wants 18 – 49. But 2 – 11 year olds are watching with their parents, which is great. And I hear that all the time. “My 5-year-old…” “My 4-year-old…” I heard it yesterday: “My 3-year-old loves the show!” And this person was telling me that the 3-year-old even gets up and…when the contestants do their shout-out and do some kind of scream, the 3-year-old gets up on the couch and does the same scream! So it’s good.
BE: I keep saying that you guys should have a TCA day on the “Wipeout” set, where the TCA members run the course.
MK: You want to come run the course? (Laughs)
BE: I want to. And I think my daughter wants me to. But I don’t think my wife would ever let me.
MK: Yeah. (Laughs) That’d be good stuff, though, watching the critics take a shot at it!
BE: So how often do you try to mix it up and add new stuff on the course?
MK: Well, every episode there are new stunts. For example, they start the qualifier, and the very first stunt they do is new every episode. And then there’s different ways of switching it up throughout the show. The winter season is one season, and then when we get into the summer season, it’s a completely different course…times two! We shoot for about five weeks, then we shut down for about a month and a half and build a completely new course, so that during the summer we have two full completely separate courses that we can mingle together and try to keep it fresh. I think it’s important to keep it fresh and to keep not only the audience but also the contestants on their toes, so that they don’t know what to expect.
BE: So, now, are you always on the set when they’re running the course?
MK: Yep.
BE: Has there ever been a point when you’ve seen someone wipe out and just thought, “Oh, my God, that person has died”?
MK: No, not that, but definitely…like, I mean, this clip they’re showing right now… (Points to a nearby monitor) …where this girl is smacking her head into that beam, there are times where I’m just, like, “Ohhhhh!” But, you know, safety’s a number-one concern for us, so we spend…hundreds of thousands of dollars on padding alone. Just on foam. We have a special deal with foam manufacturers now. We go directly to the manufacturers to get foam. So while everything looks like it’s a hard impact, there’s usually anywhere between six and 18 inches of foam that they’re smacking into. So as hard as the impacts look, I know that it’s safe, because we’ve put so much into it.
BE: My daughter is of the belief…and keep in mind that she’s only five and hasn’t seen every episode…that no one has ever successfully gotten past the Sucker Punch portion of the course.
MK: Here’s the thing: we don’t show everybody. And sometimes…I mean, the show’s called “Wipeout,” so if I showed everybody making it, it’s not really interesting. People have made it across, for sure, and we’ve shown a few of them. But we don’t show all of the successes because, ultimately, it’s about the wipeout. So when we plan the show and design the stunts, we plan it for 90% failure. We want to see that 10% of the people can actually do it, so everything that we have out there is do-able by that one out of ten people that attempt it. Or, at least, that’s the plan. (Laughs)
BE: What’s the most amazing performance you’ve seen on the show?
MK: We had this woman who was an ex-stuntwoman who came on the show. She was on a “Blind Date” episode, and…I don’t know whether she was doing it on purpose, but she was really good, and every wipeout that she had involved some kind of crazy flip in the air. I’m often impressed by the women on the course. You don’t expect them to do as well, and they come out and…I mean, this woman was incredible.
BE: Has there been anyone in the Wipeout Zone who just legitimately depressed you because of how long they were taking to complete the course?
MK: Oh, that happens a lot, where you’re just, like, “C’mon, please! We need somebody to finish this course!” (Laughs) It’s tough. When you get to the Wipeout Zone, that’s really tough. It’s cold, it’s dark, it’s wet, it’s scary…and difficult. So, yeah, we’re always crossing our fingers on that one.
BE: Lastly, can you even believe how successful this show has become?
MK: I’m thrilled by the success. I mean, ultimately, we set out to do a family show, and it’s turned out to be just that. And it’s reaching across all demos. You can’t ask for more than that.
The greatest mystery surrounding ABC’s day of the TCA press tour is why they chose to make so little of it. Given that they had ABC, ABC Family, Disney Channel, DisneyXD, the outgoing SOAPNet, and the incoming Disney Junior to work with, it’s absolutely unforgivable that there were only five panels the entire damned day.
Day 6 began on a decidedly solemn note, as the giant screens in the ballroom aired the national moment of silence to commemorate the tragedy in Tucson, and, perhaps appropriately, things shifted directly into the introduction of new ABC News president Ben Sherwood. Next up, Paul Lee, the president of ABC Entertainment, took the stage for his executive session. After that, we had a “Winter Wipeout”-themed cocoa break, then came back into the ballroom for two more panels: one for the return of ABC Family’s “Pretty Little Liars,” the next for the new ABC medical drama, “Off the Map.” Then came lunch revolving around the new Disney Junior animated series “Jake and the Never Land Pirates,” followed by a panel for the new Disney Channel movie, “Lemonade Mouth,” which – beyond the music playing during the trailer – only held my interest when the very cute and very British actress Naomi Scott opened her mouth.

And that’s it.
Well, it wasn’t quite it. We had a cocktail party at 5 PM which was ostensibly “Off the Map”-themed (they offered a trio of tropical cocktails, but I am hard pressed to recall any hors d’oeuvres that had any particular South American flair), but it only featured stars from ABC’s mid-season shows, and even then there were several notable names missing from the guest list, the two most notable being Matthew Perry from “Mr. Sunshine” and Dana Delaney from “Body of Evidence.” Now, admittedly, my experiences with Mr. Perry during the summer tour make his absence neither surprising nor overly upsetting, but it was kind of a bummer that Ms. Delaney wasn’t there, as she’s always been a real sweetheart.

What I want to know is, why didn’t ABC offer panels for one or two of their existing shows, like CBS and NBC are doing with “The Good Wife” and “Community,” respectively?
I’ll give us them credit for setting up a “Cougar Town” set visit for us – that’s happening on the 12th – but I would’ve loved a panel for “Castle,” “The Middle,” or any number of current ABC series.
And why not have an evening function featuring folks from all of their series rather than just their midseason material? I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the fleeting chance to speak with Allison Janney about “Mr. Sunshine.” I’m just saying that the whole day felt like one big missed opportunity.
You know, I was originally going to try and offer up the top 6 quotes from Day 6’s panels, but it would feel forced, so I’m not going to waste your time or mine. I will, however, offer at least one which made me laugh…
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