Category: Movie DVDs (Page 24 of 100)

Ice Castles

There are people who hold every movie from their childhood sacred to the point where the idea of remaking one of them is pure blasphemy. I am not one of those people. Now, that is not to say that I like remakes. More often than not, they’re a pale imitation of the original, but not because the source material is unimpeachable. No, it’s usually because of the story’s inability to adapt to the times (“Herbie: Fully Loaded”), or because the people involved with the remake have little regard for what people liked about the original (ahem, “Land of the Lost”).

Ah, but “Ice Castles,” that’s a perfect property to remake. The love story at its center is a sweet one, and the idea of a blind figure skater doing triple axels puts all of the true underdog sports movies of the 2000s to shame. And good for them that they didn’t try to make the movie more appealing by sexing it up – indeed, this is an innocent and squeaky clean a movie as you’re likely to see this year. Unfortunately, it’s also not very good.

Alexis Winston (Taylor Firth) loves to skate, and her boyfriend Nick (Rob Mayes) dreams of playing professional hockey. Lexi enters a local competition and catches the eye of a top-notch instructor Aiden (Morgan Kelly), who encourages her to come to Boston and train with him. Lexi becomes wildly successful but hates playing the fame game, and her busy schedule kills her relationship with Nick. When a fall on the ice leaves her blind, Lexi goes home to wallow in self-pity, but Nick encourages her to keep skating and believe in herself.

The way that Lexi and Nick are torn apart does not feel at all natural. Nick encourages Lexi to train under Aiden, then gets pissy when he can’t get her on the phone because she’s training every waking minute of the day. They set up Carrie Turner, a former student of Aiden’s, to be Lexi’s foe, but then she disappears for the final 40 minutes of the movie. Nick goes to see Lexi skate, and then spots her kissing Aiden on the lips. Nick, rightly, assumes they’re dating, but this is never really expanded on. It’s an awfully odd showing of affection if they’re not dating, and if they are…ewww. He’s twice her age, not to mention dating your pupils cannot be good for your image as an instructor. Either way, it’s poorly handled.

As is the accident that leaves Lexi blind. She leaves some swank party because she finds the whole business side of skating to be a chore, and heads out to a nearby frozen lake in order to skate her pain away. Someone makes a crack before she hits her head about her being desperate for attention, and they’re spot on. This appears to be their attempt at character development, or trying to establish that she, like Nick, is flawed, but their love is pure, or something. It doesn’t work. There is also a scene of Lexi and Aiden riding a snowmobile that doesn’t seem to have anything to do with anything else in the movie, except that they obviously felt as though they needed a bonding scene between Lexi and Aiden and/or a non-skating action sequence. There is a reference to a piece of music Lexi skates to, but we never find out its significance. (It’s revealed in the deleted scenes.) The whole thing is quite haphazard in its assembly.

Taylor Firth, however, does work. She’s cute as a button, and not a bad actress to boot. They dress her up like an extra from “Cats” at one point, but she’s immensely likable, even when she’s not on her best behavior. Rob Mayes has those non-threatening Zac Efron looks, but he’s pretty much unbearable until the last act. Fellow skater Molly Oberstar is given very little to work with as the snotty Carrie Turner, but she fares better than Michelle Kwan, who’s only playing a TV analyst but can’t get the inflection right.

There is no reason to think a spunkier but no less sweet version of “Ice Castles” wasn’t theirs for the taking, but this version isn’t it. The movie could have used some work all around, the editing in particular. It has the right tone, but no emotion. Pity.

Click to buy “Ice Castles”

Planet Hulk

For as much as Marvel utilizes him in their animated films, you’d think that the Hulk was the company’s flagship character. “Planet Hulk” marks the fifth appearance of the Not So Jolly Green Giant (including all three Avengers films and last year’s double feature, “Hulk Vs.”), and quite frankly, it’s starting to get a bit out of hand. While the Hulk deserves his share of the spotlight just as much as the next Marvel superhero, the decision to follow up one Hulk-centric feature with another only risks alienating those who aren’t fans of his comics. Based on the miniseries of the same name, the story begins with the Hulk awakening to discover that he’s been shipped to an uninhabited planet by the Illuminati after being deemed too dangerous for Earth. When Hulk causes the shuttle to malfunction and crash land on the planet of Sakaar, however, he’s forced to partake in the gladiatorial games by the planet’s leader, the Red King.

What follows is essentially “Gladiator” lite, with the Hulk teaming up with his fellow contestants to overthrow the Red King and earn their freedom. The problem with this formula is that the Hulk isn’t exactly leading man material, and although the writers try to remedy that by giving him more to say than just “Hulk smash!,” it feels terribly out of character. The story itself is plagued with flashbacks for supporting characters that draw attention away from the titular hero, while the action scenes are fairly bland when compared to the far superior “Hulk Vs.” Fans of the Hulk will still enjoy seeing one of Marvel’s most recent mini-events come to life, but next time around, they’d be better off choosing a bigger crossover event that appeals to a larger audience like “Civil War” or “Secret Invasion.”

Click to buy “Planet Hulk”

Give ‘Em Hell Malone

Director Russell Mulcahy may be responsible for bringing the “Highlander” franchise to the big screen, but he’s fallen pretty far since working with the likes of Sean Connery. After a long stint in the music video business and some terrible sequels to other film franchises like “Resident Evil” and “The Scorpion King,” Mulcahy’s career doesn’t show any signs of improving with his latest B-movie, “Give ‘Em Hell Malone.” Thomas Jane stars as the title character, a hardboiled detective type who finds himself in hot water with the local mob boss after he fails to turn over the case he was hired to retrieve. What’s inside the case, you ask? You don’t want to know, but it’s pretty stupid considering all the crap that Malone has to go through to keep it safe. At the top of that list are the bad guys hired to take him down. Ving Rhames looks annoyed he agreed to even appear in the film, while Doug Hutchison goes a little too far over the top as a sadistic arsonist who calls himself – wait for it – Matchstick. (Did they just use a random villain name generator for that one?) Not even Jane seems completely up for it, and he’s starred in movies far worse than this, because although it’s a fun nod to the pulp noir genre, “Give ‘Em Hell Malone” is every bit deserving of being dumped direct to DVD.

Click to buy “Give ‘Em Hell Malone”

Pontypool

It’s no secret that the zombie genre has experienced quite the renaissance over the last decade, but with that kind of overexposure, it was only a matter of time before the well began to run dry. If you look hard enough, however, there are still a few undiscovered gems lurking about, and the Canadian horror-thriller, “Pontypool,” is proof of that. Set almost exclusively inside an abandoned church-turned-radio station, the film stars Stephen McHattie as Grant Mazzy, a former big-city shock jock who now hosts the morning show in the small town of Pontypool, Ontario. When reports start coming in of locals exhibiting strange behavior and brutal acts of violence, Grant and his fellow co-workers (Lisa Houle and Georgina Reilly) hole up in the building relaying news updates over the air. To say what is actually causing the infection would ruin the tense atmosphere that director Bruce McDonald has created, because even though it offers a unique spin on the genre, the very thing that makes the story so original is also what undoes the film in its final minutes. Audiences will still enjoy the ride thanks to some great performances from its three leads, but the clumsy ending prevents “Pontypool” from living up to its full potential.

Click to buy “Pontypool”

Halloween II

Rob Zombie promised he would never make a sequel to his disastrously bad remake of John Carpenter’s “Halloween,” so why couldn’t he just keep his word? Zombie picks up the story where the last one left off, with Michael Myers (Tyler Mane) shot dead by his long-lost baby sister, Laurie Strode (Scout Taylor-Compton). Apparently, death didn’t suit him, because Myers somehow survives, and after two years wandering the great outdoors as a hobo, he returns to Haddonfield to finish the job. There’s really no explanation as to how Myers was able to walk away with no apparent injuries after a coroner pronounced him dead, but Zombie’s first film didn’t make a whole lot of sense either. In fact, Myers isn’t just invincible, he’s also a trained ninja who’s capable of walking around a creaky old house without making any noise. Either that or he’s received the power of teleportation from his ghost mommy (Sherri Moon Zombie), who appears in a series of dream sequences seemingly designed to allow Zombie’s wife to reprise her role. The whole charade is not only incredibly lame, but quite boring as well, especially now that Laurie is supposed to be this devil-may-care anarchist with her own psychological issues. She’s probably the most unlikeable lead protagonist to ever grace a horror film, but “Halloween II” is such a bloody mess that it’s the least of its problems.

Click to buy “Halloween II”

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