That adorable David Cross, everyone’s favorite family comic has issued a hilarious open letter to Larry The Cable Guy. Hey, here’s an idea. Let’s give Cross his own show! Oh wait…he already had one. Screw you, HBO. Anyhow, it’s nice to see Cross putting another jackass in his place. It’s hard to fathom why so many folks enjoy that “adult” flavored “Hee-Haw” humor, but then again, I could never figure out why Jeff Foxworthy clicked with so many. Unless it truly has something to do with Wal-Mart taking over the world.
Category: Humor (Page 73 of 74)
I can’t stand infomercials. Who can? But I can’t help but fall right in line when it comes to watching the spots for Esteban’s guitar and the Magic Bullet. Give it up for Esteban, anyway, since he was recently even in a Geico commercial. If I didn’t already know how to play E-Z guitar the Mel Bay way (sorry, E, but you’ve got nothing on Mel), I might plunk down for your set, including that awesome chord poster I can hang on my wall and display proudly.
The Magic Bullet’s another story. Who wrote this thing? Why is there a a female Jerseyite in grandma glasses sitting around in her bathrobe smoking at this Magic Bullet party? Doesn’t she know it’s rude to smoke around food before everyone gets blotto? Especially when it’s freshly prepared food in the Magic Bullet! God, but I do so want to make chicken salad in one – two – three seconds! Amazing! Or how about frozen drinks with color coded lids so everyone knows which drink is theirs? Awesome! Now granted you can buy this contraption at Walgreen’s and other fine stores, but they don’t carry the Bullet Blender, which you can still only get as part of the infomercial…
…and why does “Magic Bullet” sound like a sex toy?
In preparation for the DVD launch of “The Aristocrats,” V2 records is putting out a companion CD containing the world’s most famously filthy joke told by dozens of comedians. They sent us a four minute clip show version of the CD, and we just had to share it with you, our lovely readers. Note: This file is totally NSFW. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Well, apparently some action happened today at the Macy’s parade wherein a giant balloon got caught around a streetlight and sheared it off, causing it to fall and hit a woman and an 11-year-old girl. Of course, Bloomberg was there to say that the winds were well within the safe range after a similar accident happened a few years back when a Cat in the Hat balloon tore off a hunk of steel as well, causing it to fall off into the crowd. After that incident, they apprarently had some new laws passed stating that winds could only be within a certain range for the balloons to be “safe.” Guess they’ll have to append that one again.
In other Thanksgiving news, I didn’t watch the parade, but instead got readily shnockered with other family members and took the Nazz’s advice to “forget all about it a while.” This worked like a charm. I’m just trying to decide if it was all down to the beer, the vodka, or the uhhhh….what else did I have to drink today?
Do you know anyone who owns a yule log video? If you do, have you ever asked them why? What could be a more pointless gift? I mean, it’s not even a funny bad gift to give. And why would anyone purposely waste their own money on one? I can’t imagine anyone, while prepping their houses for Christmas with the yearly decorations, is rubbing their hands together as they pull out the yule log video, hotly anticipating the countless pleasures from viewing it.
I wonder if some couples dim the lights and make out to the yule log video. If I had ever been with some girl and she pulled out that tape to make out to, I would have excused myself on the spot. There’s nothing romantic about a fake fire (anyone with those phony fireplaces that have natural gas “logs” in them can attest to that). Hell, let’s just sit on the registers after the furnace kicks in and see how hot our asses get before we scream in pain and have to move to a cooler seat. Now that’s some holiday fun. People like to joke about fruit cakes being bad gifts, but seriously, they have nothing on the yule log video.
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