Kevin Federline is old news, even if the Britney Spears mooch-a-holic continues to self-promote his impending hip hop career. The new kid on the block? Patrick Swayze, who, according to AllHipHop.com, is planning to release a rap single sometime next year. The 53-year-old actor (?) had one chart-topping hit in the late 80’s, thanks mostly to the success of “Dirty Dancing,” but seriously, who’s going to break the news that old white dudes can’t rap. Hey Patrick, you’re free to borrow my copy of “White Men Can’t Jump.” I know it’s not the same, but you’ll get the idea…
Category: Humor (Page 72 of 74)
My own lovely lady (once you listen to Rupert Holmes, you never go back) wants a Tivo for Xmas. Hey, what a great time to buy one, considering Target and Best Buy are selling them for an end price of 50 bucks (after a big-ass $150 rebate), with best Buy also throwing in a three-month subscription. I’m pondering it. And also pondering hooking it up so it records every instance of such holiday classics as It’s A Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story, and Saving Private Ryan. I figure with the way these movies are constantly re-run, I’ll have that Tivo loaded up in no time. Who could ever get sick of those three? Nothing quite says Christmas overkill like Messy Marvin, Donna Reed, and Tom Hanks. Ah, yes.
If you missed SNL last week, be sure to check out this video, featuring Chris Parnell and newcomer Adam Samberg. It’s probably the show’s best bit this year.
Oh, those people at Let’s Roll 911 have so many X-files going on, it’s either reall scary or just plain sad. Seriously, this is the kind of crap that fuels freaks all over the media, from the backwoods goons on the old Art Bell radio show to the “reporters” on FOX News. These people are sworn to never forget 9/11! And dammit, they’ll make sure you don’t either with every loose screw and nut they can offer. If “The X-Files” was ever relaunched, Chris Carter would have a field day with his writers just based on this kind of wacky nutty goodness. My favorite line on the site is this one in regards to the hijacked plane that went down in Pennsylvania:
“IMPORTANT NOTE to the non-corrupted FBI and U.S. Law enforcement agents: If you take a close look at the individuals who own this property, where Flight 93 is alleged to have crashed, and interrogate them in Guantanamo for a few weeks, we will get to the bottom of who pulled off 9/11. We guarantee it.”
Wilmer Valderrama is going to play Ponch in a big-screen version of “CHiPs.”
This is great news for two reasons: 1) the public is clamoring for another big-screen remake of a bad ’70s TV show and 2) Wilmer Valderrama is getting work.
The truth is, there just aren’t any original ideas left. Hollywood is giving away script deals to new writers left and right. In fact, the president of Warner Bros. called me the other day to see if I had any ideas for a movie. The best I could come up with was a remake of “Charles In Charge.”
I shouldn’t jest – it’s probably in the works.
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