As Fox tries desperately to compete with NBC’s Winter Olympic coverage, they keep unveiling “first time in American Idol history” type stuff, which really is just a small break in format during Hollywood week. But I’ll give them this…they are getting down to the final 24 quickly. Almost too quickly.
Last night’s two-hour episode began with the final 71 contestants being broken into three rooms. Two rooms would hold those advancing to the next round, and one room full of those heading home. This, after one final shot to impress the judges with a solo performance.
Another week, another pointless flash-sideways. And until we make some headway on the connection between the two worlds, I have a sinking feeling that the Earth-2 stories are going to remain strictly what-if affairs. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I’m just not sure what else to make of them for the time being. Thankfully, Locke is a much more interesting character than Kate, so I didn’t really mind learning more about his Earth-2 counterpart. It was nice to see Katey Sagal return as Helen Norwood (now engaged to marry Locke), but despite some sweet moments between the two, the real fun came in his chance meetings with a few other familiar faces.
After getting fired for using the company’s expense account to fund his walkabout in Sydney, Locke leaves the office to discover the wheelchair access ramp in his van blocked by a big yellow Hummer. And who should that Hummer belong to but Hurley, who just so happens to own the company. Better yet, when he hears about Locke’s situation, he gladly offers him another job through a local temp agency that he also owns. (There was no mention of Locke blowing thousands of dollars on his trip, but Hurley’s a pretty laidback dude, so I guess he didn’t mind much.) The office supervisor at said temp agency is also none other than Rose, and as an annoying Disney-owned theme park ride would remind us over and over again, “It’s a small world after all.”
Still, for as great as those cameos may have been, they were nothing when compared to the last reveal, which found Locke taking a job as a substitute teacher, only to stroll into the teacher’s lounge during lunch to find Ben Linus going on a rant about someone failing to replace the filter in the coffee machine. Something tells me this is just the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Of course, if the Earth-2 characters ever learn anything about their mirror lives, chances are it won’t last long once Locke finds out about all the times his new buddy tried to kill him – and finally succeeded.
At least Ben is finally apologizing for it on Earth-1. I’m sure no one was expecting him to just come out and say it (Most. Uncomfortable. Funeral. Ever.), but it’s definitely a big step for someone like him. It’ll be interesting to see what role he plays in the rest of the season, because now that Smokey is done using him, what more is there for Ben to do? At least Sun still has to be reconnected with Jin, and though Ilana suggests they head to the temple to search for him there, we already know Jin’s long gone. Talk about shitty luck. First he was nearly killed on the freighter and now he’s Savage Claire’s prisoner.
But enough about that for now, because we have plenty to discuss in regards to Smokey’s ongoing mission to get off the island. I thought it was pretty brave of Richard to decline Smokey’s offer to join him, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less scared. Sawyer, on the other hand, doesn’t seem fazed by any of it. In fact, he knows that Smokey isn’t Locke (“I don’t care if you’re dead, or time traveling, or the Ghost of Christmas Past”), but all he wants to do is drink. That quickly changes once Smokey offers proof of why he’s on the island, prompting Sawyer to follow him to a cave where hundreds of names have been written on the inside. Most are crossed out, except for a few, including Sawyer, Jack, Hurley, Sayid, Locke, and either Sun or Jin. All people that Jacob came in contact with earlier in their lives, and each with a number before it that correlates with the mysterious numbers from the hatch.
Faithful “24” blog readers, I am in need of some clarification. Tonight’s entire episode revolved around the mysterious whereabouts of Wolfhausen, to the point where Jack volunteered to be kidnapped in order to pinpoint his location. Meanwhile, Mrs. “24” blogger and I are thinking:
Why not check Vladimir’s cell phone?
Hastings focused repeatedly on the fact that Crazy Jackie gutted Vladimir Guerrero like a salmon before they had a chance to interrogate him, and yes, it’s true that dead men tell no tales. As the same time, cell phones do not lie. Find his phone, look up the most recent calls made, and go from there. Boom, problem solved. Did they address the issue of the phone in the previous hour? Did the Russian goons take Vlad’s phone or at least destroy it? If so, then fine, I’ll quit bellyaching. No, you know what, I won’t quit bellyaching. Jack and Renee discussed it all before anyone else arrived on the scene. They could have taken his phone right then and there. That’s it: I’m applying for the job of director of CTU. Someone has to stop the madness.
“Aw, you’re going to torture me? That’s so cute! I just want to pinch your cheeks for not knowing how this will end.”
There was something about Sark that was throwing me off this entire episode. Previously, he appeared to be a sniveling wimp. In tonight’s episode, he’s Wolfhausen’s Luca Brasi, putting a gun to Jason Schwartzman’s head and talking the talk like a true “family man.” I should have known that he had a hidden agenda. What will be interesting to learn, should they reveal it, is which one of them initiated the backup plan. I have to think it was Sark, because if Jason Schwartzman does it, he looks desperate. If Sark does it, he looks cunning. But there I go again, getting all rational.
In Hour 5, I said:
“…no good will come from trying to make [Kevin] disappear. Guys like that, they don’t disappear. It’s like feeding a cat.”
Fast-forward three hours, and Kevin is making it rain at a strip club with his ill-gotten gains, telling Starbuck that he plans on holding her big secret over her head for as long as he can. Surprise! Yes, we all saw this coming down Broadway, but here is my big question: I’m no gangster, but I’m pretty sure that New York strip clubs know who the real players are, both above the table and otherwise, and who the two-bit, illiterate degenerate scumbags are. When a halfwit like Kevin comes in with obscene amounts of cash, odds are he’s stolen it from another one of the club’s more loyal patrons, at which point the halfwits are escorted out the back door, chopped to bits, stuffed in a duffel bag and thrown in the Hudson. In the “24” universe, however, they live la vida loca. Fugh.
And to think, Starbuck had the perfect chance to come clean…and didn’t do it. Granted, I’m not a con artist like Kate or Sawyer from “Lost,” so I don’t think about potential ways out of a predicament like your typical con, but I have to think that Starbuck is so far against the wall that she feels her shoulder blades coming through her chest. But nope, she still doesn’t come clean, choosing instead to fix it herself. I am predicting that this will result in the death of Kevin but not his idiot sidekick Nick, who will then put even more pressure on Starbuck using…wait for it…Kevin’s cell phone.
Quick note on Jack’s footwork while tortured: at least it was more believable than last week’s knife toss.
On the Presidential front – this is, after all, President’s Day – our Madame President was shortchanged. Even Jack upstaged her conference call with Bubba. Ah, but Slumdog President continued on his path to full-blown paranoia, even telling his daughter Princess Jasmine that the love of her life, who has served her father loyally for ages, is probably a plant and working for Jason Schwartzman instead. See, this is why good people don’t get into politics. Not worth the trouble. And we wonder why things are so fucked up.
And on that note, I’ll let Billy Joel take us home. Think about it, Starbuck. Please.
Once upon a time, the third Monday in February was designated as a day to celebrate George Washington’s birthday. These days, however, although it varies from state to state, it tends to be known less specifically as Presidents Day, which means that we can ostensibly celebrate everyone who’s ever been the President of the United States. Here at Premium Hollywood, we’d also like to extend that to those who’ve served as our nation’s commander-in-chief on television and the silver screen.
Now, granted, that’s a lot of people…more, in fact, than we could possibly give shout-outs to in a single piece. As such, we decided to pare it down to the same number of individuals as have held the highest office in our land since its inception. Forty-four folks is still nothing to sneeze at, but we’re betting that we’ll still end up having left out someone’s favorite son (or daughter). To paraphrase one of our real presidents, you can please some of the people all of the time, and all of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. With that said, however, we still think we did a pretty solid job of picking the best candidates for the piece.
1. President Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho (Terry Crews), “Idiocracy”: Why are we leading off with President Camacho? Because, really, when you’ve got a fake President on your list who’s also a porn superstar and a five-time ultimate smackdown wrestling champion, why in God’s name would you wait any longer than necessary to trumpet his inclusion? Clearly, this man is the fake President to end all fake Presidents, and he’s #1 with a bullet. It’s all going to be downhill from here.
2. President Andrew Shepherd (Michael Douglas), “The American President”: President Shepherd is a widower who pursues a relationship with an attractive lobbyist — Sydney Ellen Wade, played by Annette Bening — while at the same time attempting to win passage of a crime control bill. Although the film was mostly ignored by the Oscars, it racked up several Golden Globe nominations and has since found its way into the #75 spot on the American Film Institute’s list of America’s Greatest Love Stories. Plus, its screenwriter managed to find a good use for the excess material that he didn’t have room to fit into the script…but we’ll get to that in our next entry.
3. President Josiah Bartlet (Martin Sheen), “The West Wing”: Yes, if you hadn’t figured it out already, “The American President” was written by Aaron Sorkin, which is why you may notice a resemblance between the mannerisms of Presidents Shepherd and Bartlet. Ironically, though, Sorkin had originally envisioned the series as revolving so much around the White House senior staff that viewers would rarely, if ever, see the president. Instead, what the nation got was an idealized leader, one who – in A Novel Approach to Politics, by Douglas A. Van Belle and Kenneth M. Mash – is referred to as the “most popular Democratic president in recent memory.” The book was written pre-Obama, mind you, but we’re pretty sure the title still stands.
4. President William Harrison Mitchell (Kevin Kline), “Dave”: Given the vaguely “The Prince and the Pauper”-esque premise of the film, which involes a guy who makes a few bucks on the side as a Presidential impersonator being asked to play the part for real when the actual President suffers an incapacitating stroke, there was every reason to believe that “Dave” would’ve been a trifle at best, but between Kline’s imminent likability and a fantastic supporting cast (Sigourney Weaver as the First Lady, Ben Kingsley as the Vice President, Frank Langella as Chief of Staff, and Charles Grodin as Dave’s accountant buddy, Murray), it often comes close to – even though it doesn’t quite reach – the heights of “The American President.”
5 – 8. President Thomas J. Whitmore (Bill Pullman), “Independence Day” / President Blake (Perry King) and President Becker (Kenneth Welsh), “The Day After Tomorrow” / President Thomas Wilson (Danny Glover), “2012”: As soon as you see the credit “directed by Roland Emmerich” on a disaster flick, you just know things are going to reach a point where the President of the United States is going to be brought into the discussion about whatever imminent danger may be about to thrust itself onto our planet.
There’s also a very good possibility that the ol’ rite of succession may come into play during the course of the film, such as it did in “The Day After Tomorrow,” when we lost President Blake after the blades of his helicopter froze. Say hello, President Becker! The same thing happened in “2012,” too, but we were so in awe of President Wilson’s selfless sacrifice – he stayed behind to help survivors in need, only to meet his death when the tidal wave struck the White House – that we’ve made an executive decision not to include Wilson’s successor, President Anheuser (Oliver Platt) in the list. Why? Because he’s a dick.
The definitive Emmerich-flick president, of course, is President Whitmore. During the course of “Independence Day,” he sees the White House blown up, loses his wife, fights off a psychic attack from an alien, and flies a goddamned jet fighter into battle to help save the day. Plus, he gives the most stirring speech this side of “Patton.” Hell, I’d vote for him.
Bullz-Eye’s David Medsker chatted with “2012” director Roland Emmerich yesterday about the film’s impending release on DVD, but while the final product won’t hit the site ’til close to the DVD’s street date (March 2), Emmerich offered up two pieces of information during the course of the interview that we figured were worth reporting sooner than later.
During the course of the conversation, Medsker brought up our 2009 interview with Bill Pullman and mentioned the actor’s surprise that a sequel to “Independence Day” never got off the ground.
“It’s just one of those things,” said Emmerich. “Everybody wants to do it, but it’s really difficult. People had to wait for ‘Indy 4’ for a decade, and the reason is because of the people involved. If you want to assemble the same people, then you have a big problem. But everyone wants to do it, and it will happen one day, I’m pretty sure.”
If you’re not exactly overwhelmed by his confidence, perhaps this will help: after many years of uncertainty about what the premise of the sequel would be, it can at least be said that Emmerich and his “ID4” co-conspirator, Dean Devlin, do actually have an idea in place.
“Dean and I always said that we’d only do it when we had a really good story that excites us both, and we have the story written,” revealed Emmerich. “We’ve had it for a year and a half, two years. So we’ve been ready! Maybe it takes another two years [to get everyone together]. We’ll see.”
For better or worse, it appears that the rumored “2012” TV series won’t be getting in the way of “Independence Day 2.” When Medsker asked about the status of the series, Emmerich confirmed that it’s as dead as Danny Glover’s character. (RIP, President Wilson.)
“It’s not happening,” he said. “When the TV [network] realized what we wanted to do, they thought this was not possible for TV. It’s just too big. And I didn’t want to do it in a lesser form, so it went away.”
