…And No One Cares.”
Apparently, MTV’s reality show where contestants compete for the ostensible dream gig as a writer for Rolling Stone is a big ol’ flop.
I like to think it’s because I was not selected as a finalist.
Category: External TV (Page 383 of 419)
Premiering tonight at midnight:
You can read a nice article about it here (or check out the show’s home page for even more details), but it looks like it’s set to be the most spot-on parody of the Sid & Marty Krofft ouevre since “Mr. Show” brought us “The Altered State of Drugachusetts”…and I, for one, am totally psyched.
All in the Family: The Complete Sixth Season – Ah, geez: this is the season when “All in the Family” jumped the shark. Or was it? My perception has always been that things started to go downhill this year, when Mike and Gloria moved out of the Bunker’s house, and Gloria gave birth to baby Joey; the majority of the votes on JumpTheShark.com, however, don’t have it occurring until the end of the eighth season, when Mike, Gloria, and Joey moved away. All I know is that after this season, “All in the Family” dropped to #12 in the ratings after spending five years at #1. That can’t be a coincidence.
The Big Valley: Season Two, Volume One – After watching seasons of “The Time Tunnel” and “Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea,” you sometimes forget that the ‘60s actually produced some dramas that provide entertainment on more levels than just kitschy fun. “The Big Valley” is probably best remembered by kids raised in the ‘70s and ‘80s as the show Lee Majors did before “The Six Million Dollar Man” and “The Fall Guy,” but it’s a solid Western drama that provides a twist on the “Bonanza” formula by having several strapping young brothers living on a ranch with their ma (played by Barbara Stanwyck) rather than their pa. It’s loaded with guest stars, but surely the most interesting performance here is the surprisingly effective dramatic turn by Buddy Hackett, who sports a beard and an Irish accent for his role.
Dallas: The Complete Sixth Season – If you didn’t watch the show, there are probably only two questions you have about this set, so let me answer them for you quickly. 1) No, it’s not the season where J.R. got shot; that happened at the end of the third season. 2) No, it’s not the season where Bobby shows up the shower and it turns out that the previous season was an entire dream; that happened at the end of the ninth season. So if you’re only a casual fan, you’ll probably be able to take a pass. If you’re a diehard…well, of course, you’ll buy it, anyway, but you’ll be excited to check out the new featurette, “Power and Influence: The Dallas Legacy.” It’s only 12 minutes long, but at least it’s a special feature; you get so few of those on ‘70s shows sets.
The Golden Girls: The Complete Seventh and Final Season – Criminey, another season already? Man, I am so freaking tired of writing about this show. Thank God it’s the last time I’ll have to do so. What else is there to say about it, really, that I haven’t already said before? It’s four old ladies living in a house together, it’s a funny show, and it shouldn’t be the guilty pleasure for guys that it is, because the writing is often downright hilarious. Plus, it was a great venue for older stars to get work…and, unlike “Murder, She Wrote” or “Diagnosis: Murder,” the odds were pretty decent that you’d get out of the episode alive! There’s also a nice retrospective on here, entitled – what else? – “Thank You For Being A Friend: A Look Back with the Golden Girls.”
La Femme Nikita: The Complete Fifth Season – Peta Wilson is hot. I think that’s pretty well inarguable. But having not watched this show at any point prior to receiving this set, it’s hard to do a review of it justice…which is why I’ve been sitting on it for so long. I tried to watch it, but, frankly, it bored me very quickly and I bailed out. I’m willing to presume that’s because I was coming in blind, though, so I’ll at least praise the fact that it includes a few special features, including deleted scenes, a teaser for the season that was previously only viewable online, and a featurette called “Season Five: Declassified.”
Penn & Teller: Bullshit! – The Complete Fourth Season – Hard to say how long Penn Gillette’s NBC game show, “Identity,” will stick around, but, frankly, who cares? Sure, it’s nice that he’s getting a paycheck for doing not very much at all, but if it vanishes tomorrow, he’s still got “Bullshit!” – already renewed for a fifth season – to fall back on. You might occasionally find yourself flinching at Penn’s explosive obscenity-filled responses to various on-screen contributors (my personal favorite: “Fuck you in the neck, motherfucker!”), but whether you agree with the show’s spin on their subjects – which, rest assured, are always well-documented – or not, every episode “Bullshit!” is invariably illuminating. And, guys, you know you want to watch the one on prostitution…
Jim’s Pavlov-esque experiment that opened the episode was terrific. It’s amazing how the show can consistently come up with hilarious one-minute bits. Of course, whenever you have Jim messing with Dwight, it’s a recipe for success.
I think I’ve realized something about Michael and his antics. When he makes a complete ass of himself in front of his employees, it’s funny, but when he makes a complete ass of himself in front of a bunch of strangers, it’s just uncomfortable. That was the case tonight when he kept trying to inject himself into Phyllis’ wedding, creating a number of his patented “cover your eyes” moments.
Kevin’s transition from “…[Uncle Al] has dementia and his family is very concerned. This is a very serious situation,” into his horrible rendition of “Roxanne” was one of the best moments of the episode. It’s always great to catch a glimpse of Scrantonicity.
Did you catch Ryan coming in and batting the bouquet away from Kelly? I doubt he’ll ever extract himself from that relationship, though that would make for a great episode. On a side note – nice work, Toby!
It looks like my not-so-hard-to-predict prediction is going to come true. Pam was so beat down, first by Phyllis stealing all of her wedding ideas and then by seeing Jim dancing with Karen, that she succumbed (out of loneliness) to Roy’s subtle moves. They’re going to get back together before Jim realizes he still wants her.
But who knows, maybe one of them will have the balls to tell the other how they really feel. I think it’s Pam’s turn, but it doesn’t look like she wants to put herself on the line like that (or betray Karen). The only problem with a Pam/Jim romance is that I like Karen and I don’t want her character to leave Scranton.
Here are a couple of great quotes from tonight’s episode:
Dwight: (to Angela) “You look as beautiful as the Queen of England.” (What??)
Angela: (to Phyllis) “Your dress is very white. It’s so white my eyes are burning.”
True story…although details are virtually nonexistent at the moment as to what happened. About all that’s known at the moment is that she was at the Hard Rock Hotel, in Hollywood, Florida, and she was unresponsive when paramedics arrived.
Smith’s attorney, Ronald Rale, told Reuters, “I can confirm that she is deceased. It’s as shocking to me as to you guys.”
Somewhat less shocked, presumably, are Metzie 62 and Wishful Thinking, the two entrants into the Old Blue Eyes Memorial Celebrity Death Watch who had Smith selected on their 2007 entries.
Is it too early to blame TrimSpa?
UPDATE, 4:20 PM: We’re currently waiting on the news conference at Memorial Regional Hospital, in Hollywood, FL, where Smith was brought…and, while the wait goes on, CNN is so desperate for new material on the matter that they’re interviewing some teenage girl outside the hospital who apparently saw Smith’s sheet-covered body be rolled past her on a gurney.
UPDATE, 4:35 PM: While waiting on the hospital, we’re watching the press conference at the Hard Rock Hotel by the Seminole police department. Apparently, Anna Nicole’s private nurse – who discovered her – called the hotel operator at 1:38 PM and asked for paramedics, and her bodyguard administered CPR to Anna Nicole at some point after that. The scene is being examined, but it’s not being treated as a crime, and, beyond that, the police don’t seem to know much, really…or, at least, the officer doing the conference doesn’t; he’s said several times that he hadn’t been up to the room himself. Someone just asked him if he knew what she’d been doing since checking into the hotel, and he replied, “Relaxing, I guess. That’s what people come here to do.” Yes, I can picture the Hard Rock Hotel’s new slogan now: “Where People Come To Relax…And Hardly Ever Die.”
UPDATE, 4:49 PM: CNN is playing the self-promotion game. They’ve already had Larry King come on via telephone and reminisce about how much he always liked Anna Nicole, and they just showed a clip from his 2003 interview with her – of course, it’s the moment where she talks about how she gained weight a few years ago because of a battle with depression, thereby suggesting that maybe this was a suicide – for the second time. It’s also been decided that Larry will be dedicating his show tonight to chatting with Anna Nicole’s friends and family. Oh, God, now they’re interviewing yet another random person outside who saw her body on the gurney…except he says the first time he saw her, she wasn’t covered with a sheet. Wow, gripping. I’m switching over to MSNBC.
UPDATE, 4:55 PM: I’m not sure which is preferable: watching some guy talk about seeing Anna Nicole on the gurney, or listening to Rita Cosby at MSNBC talk to Katrina Szish from US Weekly about the gossipy highlights of Smith’s past few months. Oh, come on now: MSNBC is now showing footage that was recorded a few minutes ago…and they’re interviewing THE SAME TEENAGE GIRL CNN TALKED TO. Maybe Fox News is better. At the very least, I’m sure they’ll be completely impartial.
UPDATE, 5:02 PM: I’ve been on here for two minutes, and I’ve already seen Geraldo Rivera and Greta Van Susteren weighing in on the situation, so I think I’ll stick around for a bit. It was just announced that Hugh Hefner has issued a statement, saying he’s very saddened to hear of her passing, she was a good friend, and that his thoughts and prayers are with her loved ones at this difficult time…and, you know, I actually believe him. Mind you, I don’t think it’ll stop him from slapping together some of her old layouts and calling it a tribute issue, but I believe him. Now they’re showing a clip of Greta interviewing Anna Nicole…recorded, oddly enough, on my 32nd birthday…and Anna Nicole just said she’s not ditzy. It’s a laughable comment, but post-clip, Greta says it’s more true than you’d think, that she came across as clever and intelligent. Also, both Greta and Geraldo think that Anna Nicole’s significant other, Howard K. Stern, is pretty skeezy.
UPDATE, 5:14 PM: The autopsy will be performed tomorrow. Some clever fucker on Fox – I didn’t catch his name – just said that Anna Nicole’s life had as many ups and downs as her weight. Count on that line being recycled in many an article.
UPDATE, 5:18 PM: Oh, my sweet Christ, now FOX is showing an interview clip with THE SAME TEENAGE GIRL CNN (and also MSNBC) TALKED TO. Seriously, how awesome would it be if it turned out that she didn’t really see a damned thing, but that she thought, “Sweet, these guys are so desperate that they’ll believe anything, I’m gonna make some shit up”? Okay, now they’ve moved on to their medical correspondent, Dr. Jennifer Ashton, and are discussing the possibility that Anna Nicole might’ve O.D.’ed on methadone…um, and she’s now just made the incredibly broad statement that it could’ve been suicide or it could’ve been homicide. The word for today, kids, is speculation. Say it with me: speck-you-lay-shun.
UPDATE, 5:26 PM: I flipped back to CNN because I was so annoyed at Fox’s ridiculous comments, only to pop back into more of that self-promotion. “Nancy Grace,” says Wolf Blitzer, “I know you’ve got to go, you’re very busy, you’ve got your show to get ready for, which airs at…” Gimme a break. And then it’s followed by Larry King, who’s returned for a few more minutes, getting off the line…but not before reminding viewers about his tribute show this evening. Okay, MSNBC, let’s try ya’ll again…
UPDATE, 5:48 PM: Okay, my wife and daughter are home, so I’m checking out for awhile, but before I go, I think it has to be said: God love her, she had many moments of full-on hotness, and I’m sorry she’s dead, but Anna Nicole Smith was not Marilyn Monroe. She was a controversial figure, but in the end, she’s going to be not much more than a pop culture footnote or a small entry in the overall history of the U.S. Supreme Court, so I’m a little stunned and surprised at how completely batshit the cable networks are going over her death. Yes, it was mildly unexpected – and I say mildly because a friend of mine saw her on “Entertainment Tonight” last night and said “she was high as a kite and pilled out of her mind; she couldn’t even talk, so her lawyer/husband had to talk for her” – but is her death really worth this incredible amount of coverage? Discuss.
UPDATE, 7:16 PM: Just a quick post-dinner comment. Just about every news network has gone back to their regular programming, but when I popped over to “Entertainment Tonight,” the ghoul in me was unsurprised to see that they were already trumpeting the fact that they had done the very last television with Anna Nicole. They showed some footage of her getting ready for said interview, and, frankly, she looked awful…and I don’t recall actually hearing her talk; I think it was only her handlers’ voices I was hearing. Anyway, I’ll be tuning in to Larry King tonight; I feel like it’s my duty, really.
UPDATE, 11:18: Screw duty. I watched “Scrubs” and “30 Rock” instead. But I did check it out during a commercial, and – honest to God – Larry King went to a live interview with yet another person who saw Anna Nicole’s body when the gurney was brought into the hospital. Seriously…? The special program dedicated to Anna Nicole, featuring reminiscences from friends and family, and he had to rely on a guy in a parking lot…?!? Anyway, I’ve got the VCR set to tape the re-run of the program at midnight. If there’s anything interesting, I’ll report back in the morning…but, right now, I’m going to bed.
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