Author: Will Harris (Page 221 of 261)

Will is a member of the Television Critics Association and has written for Decider.com, the Onion A.V. Club, The Dissolve, Indiewire, Rhino.com, TV Week Magazine, The Virginian-Pilot, Popdose.com, and EW.com along with writing for Bullz-Eye.com and Premium Hollywood.

Another beloved Disney character to be ruined

Because Disney can’t seem to create enough original characters these days (they’d apparently rather leave that to the folks at Pixar), they’re once again trotting back to the Disney Vault and recycling a pre-existing one: Tinkerbell. They’re going to make a straight-to-video Tinkerbell movie, and, for the first time in Disney’s history, they’re going to give our girl Tink a voice…and it belongs to Brittany Murphy.

I gotta tell you, Tinkerbell’s reputation really went downhill when Disney merchandised her to places like Hot Topic, who’ve put her on hot pants and lace tops. It’s, like, “Hey, kids, Tink’s a slut now! Wait ’til you see what we’re doing with our revamp of Snow White; let’s just say you’ll be pretty sure she ought not to be wearing white anymore! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge…!”

Another one of my dream jobs taken by someone else…

Although it’s always sat squarely in the shadow of its competitor, Mad Magazine, many a disaffected (read, “nerdy”) teenager got plenty of laughs out of Cracked Magazine. Though it’s vanished from newstands on occasion over the years, the magazine has now returned…under the editorial eye of Michael Ian Black. You may know Black from “The State” and “Ed,” but, far more likely, you know him for having appeared as a talking head in virtually every VH-1 show EVERRRRRRR.

Michael Ian Black in his natural environment.

This is not the Cracked Magazine you grew up with, however. Instead of going after strictly a teenage demographic, they’re expanding their target audience up to age 34, adding interviews with folks like Trey Parker and Matt Stone, as well as articles by Mike Nelson (“MST3K”) and Kurt Metzger (“Chapelle’s Show”). It sounds like Spy Magazine, except you don’t have to be a complete douchebag to enjoy it.

A sample of the premiere issue of the magazine under its new regime can be enjoyed online by clicking the below image:

…but there’s also exclusive content available at CrackedMagazine.com, including a Frequently Asked Questions piece on “Snakes on a Plane” that theorizes how the film was greenlit.


Q: How did this movie ever get made?
A: We’d imagine the pitch for the movie went something like this:

Writer: “It’s a movie with Samuel L. Jackson…”

Studio Exec: “What’s it called? What’s it about?”

Writer: “Snakes on a Plane. Snakes on a Plane.”

Studio Exec: ”I like your moxie. Sold.” (Sprinkling millions of dollars onto table) “Now, who do I have to blow around here to get some coke injected into the tip of my cock?”

And the winner for “Actor Least Likely To Have A Musical Based Around Him” is…

Wilford Brimley.

Your day won’t be complete until you go to the site and check out the MP3 of “There’s Always Something Doing When Brimley’s In Town.” According to the website, the song, a duet between “Brimley” and “Steve Guttenberg,” “mirrors the complex and rocky relationship these two masters had with one other.” Come on, everybody, sing…!

“So lock up your daughters, ’cause shit goes down
When Wilford Brimley’s in town…!”

Thank God for the MTV Video Music Awards

If it wasn’t for them, we wouldn’t even realize that MTV still showed videos.

Okay, sorry, I always feel obliged to take a shot at the decidedly non-music-oriented programming of the network. Now that that’s out of the way, just in case you were losing sleep over the fact that the Video Music Awards are only three weeks away and MTV still hasn’t announced who’s going to be hosting the festivities, prepare to have your insomnia cured.

If you can’t be bothered to click on the above link, I’ll satisfy your curiosity. The host will be…this man:

Oh, no, wait, I’m sorry, that’s just my opinion of the Awards for the last decade or so…

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