Author: Talia Aroshas

Olympus Has Fallen, a Partial Un-Biased Review

I will preface this review by stating that I am a bit biased. Mind you, I am completely aware of the inconvenience I am placing on the very nature and rules of critical assessments, but, as it were, I don’t care. Furthermore, I think a biased review is sometimes entirely necessary. For you see, whether a movie, book, or song proves brilliant or not, certain audience members are going to dislike it; likewise, even if a movie is a steaming pile of wretched poo, certain citizens of society will find great entertainment in it. Thusly, I think it is important to classify some reviews based on audiences. Ergo this review.  Also, I’ve never claimed to be a movie critic.

How’s that for argument?

Olympus Has Fallen opens just as every other movie involving the safety of the President and the first family does: with a charming, heartwarming look into their “real” lives and love of one another.

And then things go wrong.

And then other things go wrong.

And then the whole country is in deep doo doo.

But the president is in really deep doo doo.

And then there’s the hero guy who somehow misses every gun shot and bomb; he knows things that nobody else in the world seems to know; he’s always one step ahead of the bad guy; always in the right place at the right time; and always spewing out the best one-liners.

Of course, there’s also the round table of other major political US players arguing over what to do, chatting with the bad guy via whatever the latest technological advancement in communication may be, and refusing to “negotiate with terrorists.”

So where am I going with this? Well, simply, this is a political action thriller as political action thriller fan’s love them; exciting, fast, explosive, violent, and completely outlandish. But directed by Training Day’s Antione Fuqua, who was less concerned about making a movie to compare to his former classics and more focused on creating a great movie to stand on it’s own,  any action fan could expect nothing but the best in terms of visual suspense.

Additionally, new comer screen writers Creighton Rothenburger and Katrin Benedikt were able to stay alarmingly true to the intricate details of what would enable a terrorist group to take over the White House. So much so that the attack scene reads as a bit of a “how to” book. Or maybe I’m just paranoid. Regardless, for the sake of entertainment, these details make this movie one hell of a ride.

An incredible cast rounds up this movie complete with Gerard Butler, Angela Basset, Aaron Eckhart, Melissa Leo, and of course, Morgan Freeman. Also starring in this film is the immaculate reconstruction of the White House as this movie was shot in Shreveport, Louisiana.

 

If you are confused as to whether or not this is a positive movie review, I assure you, I am too. But mostly it is. For you see, as a die hard action movie fan myself, I was less preoccupied and concerned with the predictable formula of the script and more so captivated and enthralled by the action unfolding on the screen.

And isn’t that what every action lover goes to see an action movie for?

I think so.

Golden Globes, Taylor-Tina Face Off

Young celebrity relationships are, for the most part, entirely futile. I learned this after Justin Timberlake and Britney Spears called it quits due to a mysterious misdemeanor on her part. The two then carried out a prolonged, dramatic breakup that only proved how perfect they were for each other.

Or take any relationship that Taylor Swift has entered, ever, for instance.

Like children away at sleep away camp, it seems real time plays no relative matter as the two relatively awestruck and dough eyed mini moguls careen into a whirlwind of super love that lands them straight into the arms of the press, and connectedly, the dining room tables of their beloved fans.  What then follows is a few weeks, months, or maybe even years of a picture perfect seeming love affair, time tabled by tabloids, speculated on by the spectators, and consumed by the masses.

Some of them extend no further than dating, some of them manage, at least, an ill fated engagement, and others even make it to the isle. Very few, however, actually stand the test of time.

But let’s face it, most of these romances, much like Swift’s,  end abruptly after a brief courtship due to a minor hiccup of disagreement or miscommunication. We know there are many fish in the sea, and in Hollywood the fish are much prettier, but aren’t relationships supposed to be built on trust, strengthened though tryst, and tested with time?

Of course, arguments can be made that all of society falls into this category; all with the divorce rate soaring at a skyrocketing rate of dismal and depressing. But, in real life, nobody is praised or applauded for holding hands one day, and announcing engagements the next.

More so, reactions would generally be, “Are you crazy? Do you even know what they do for a living?”

This, of course, is not all celebrities, as some relationships have taken on the world and proved love can even be realized by even the most dense of people. Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt, for example.

However, it seems that most of these youngsters hop around just way too fast testing out these shiny new toys without actually realizing the heftiness they are holding in regard to their public image, or the message they are sending to their tiny fans. In so much, people will think things, tabloids will say things, and comedians will joke on things.

And if you can’t handle the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or, at least try wearing an oven mitt.

Look Swift,  God knows I’m your biggest fan, and I am only jealous of your optimistic ability to jump head first into each romance, but if your’re going to do it, you have to take the jokes that are coming your way in stride. The world is going to laugh at you, and you must laugh at yourself.

Also, you must never insinuate anything negative about Tina Fey and/or Amy Poehler because they are, quite simply, Gods.

Maybe you’ll think I’m going to Hell too for writing this, but hopefully you can see I am just offering advice as a fan.

I own all you albums, having legally paid for them, and sing your songs off of balconies on cruise ships with my little sister. Who, need I mention, also attended a concert on your last tour as a birthday gift from me. So you see, I am rooting for you.

You’re welcome.

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/oscars/2013/03/amy-poehler-taylor-swift-vanity-fair-cover-story-tina-fey>

 

Oscars 2013, Your Time is Here

This year was, quite indeed, a great year for the movies. More times than not, I sat on the edge of my theatre seat in great anticipation for what was about to unfold in front of my very easily distracted eyes.  This even includes a twice interrupted viewing of Zero Dark Thirty, of which the projector froze twice. So what am I hoping for with the impending arrival of the 85th Academy Awards Ceremony? Well, mostly I’m hoping that Seth McFarlane keeps his jokes offensive and the crowd roaring, Jennifer Lawrence wears something  other than a dress that looks as though the bust could double as a BB gun, and that Daniel Day Lewis let’s somebody else win for once. Really dude.

Aside from those small requests, I’m hopeful and content with any and all contenders the academy sees fit for the naked gold man, whom I assume is called Oscar. Except, I’d also really prefer if it didn’t go to Hugh Jackman either, as it is he just irks me.

Where am I going with this, you ask? I just want to point out, again, that it has been an awesome year at the movies. Aside from Taken 3. That is. Because I don’t like to drink or socialize on the regular, movie watching is pretty much my part time job, and this year, they really put me to work. For starters, I never anticipated a quasi-romantic comedy starring Bradley Cooper to completely overwhelm me to the point where I was at a loss to describe what made the movie so, well, moving. Also, after being dragged to the theatres, quite reluctantly, to watch what was, according to me, a boring historical movie about the capture of a now evil dead guy, it was I who could not shut up about Zero Dark Thirty, or Jessica Chastain’s performance, for weeks. Skyfall, might just have been the best recent Bond movie of yet, and then of course, there was the brilliance of, Argo fuck  yourself.

So, Mr. Oscar, whatever you have in store tomorrow for us I’m sure will be alright with me, as it should be the rest of the world. However, Hollywood 2013, you have a lot to live up to.

And I’ll be watching you.

 

10 Reasons to See ‘Warm Bodies’

Just yesterday, I had the pleasure of being dragged to a showing of the relatively new theatrical release, “Warm Bodies.”

And by dragged, I mean not dragged at all, entirely willing, and despondently hopeful.

However, it was totally worth it. The movie, although seemingly bizarre and easily misjudged as campy and corny, is actually quite clever and original. Except if you’ve ever seen the lost 80s movie, “My Boyfriend’s Back,” in which case Warm Bodies just seems like a victorious copy-cat of a lackluster romantic comedy about a corpse.  A romantic zomedy, if you will.

Because I don’t like writing reviews, I have compiled a list of 10 reasons to go see this movie right now. However, if you live in the New England area you should probably wait till Sunday, as there is snow and stuff.

1)   John Malkovich is in it

2)   Every joke that you want them to make, but you are afraid they won’t because then they’d be poking fun at themselves, they do.

3)   My friend *Debby is convinced there will be a zombie apocalypse. If such is the case, this movie will help us prepare, as well as advise us on its defeat.

4)   Analiegh Tipton is both adorable and hilarious.

5)   You know you’ve always wanted to see a pretty girl and a zombie make out.

6)   What do zombies think about? We no longer have to wonder.

7)   Here we learn what happens when zombies progress from plain zombie, to MEGA ZOMBIE.

8)   John Malkovich is in it.

9)   How many zombies does it take to screw in a light bulb? No just kidding. That’s not a thing. However, you do find out why zombies eat people and what their favorite part of eating the brain is. Useful information.

10)   It is not “Twilight” and Kristen Stewart is not in it.

Pirates of the Caribbean 5–> It’s On

A pirate’s life indeed.

With screenwriter Jeff Nathanson of “Catch Me if You Can” fame on board, Disney is officially proud to announce it’s intention to release a 5th installment to the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise. Yes, that’s correct, they are now up to 5.

Johnny Depp will return to play the now infamous fictional pirate, Jack Sparrow, but other A-lister reprisals such as Kiera Knightley and Orlando Bloom are yet unknown.

The movie is set to release to theatre’s on July 10 2015. 

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