Author: Jason Zingale (Page 133 of 154)

My TiVo is a pimp

I’m sure it will come as no surprise that even the fine people at TiVo can’t claim 100% satisfaction from their product, and while we’ve all had our share of problems with the little love box, the following story certainly takes the cake:

A San Franciso man reportedly recieved over $2000 in phone bills for a line at his vacation home in Michigan. Having been previously connected to TiVo before the subscription was cancelled, the man was shocked to hear from his phone company that it was his disconnected TiVo service dialing the long distance numbers. Oh, and they weren’t just normal long distance calls, either, but 1-900 sex lines to Singapore.

I find this difficult to believe, since all it takes is a quick yank of the phone cord out of the wall to disconnect your subscription, but TiVo has still agreed to pay the man’s insanely expensive phone bills in full. Now that’s customer service!

When Bernard met Rose.

Did we really need the back story on these two? I mean, it’s not like they’re major players on the island, and I doubt they’ll ever provide any sort of assistance later down the road. Sure, Bernard made a half-assed attempt at making an SOS sign out of black rocks, but he didn’t even get through the first “S” before eventually throwing in the towel. They’re filler characters, and they should’ve stayed that way. Perhaps the only important element of the couple’s story was the revelation that the island indeed has special healing powers. The proof? Rose was in remission with cancer before leaving Australia, and now, she’s perfectly healthy. The same is true of Locke, who we know was restricted to a wheelchair before the plane crash. What we didn’t know, however, is that Rose met a wheelchair-bound Locke in the airport pre-flight. Why she hasn’t said anything until now is beyond me, but perhaps she doesn’t want to jinx her blessing.

Because the major storyline seemed to be revolving around Jack and Kate this week, I half-expected to see a continuation of one of their stories, but alas was disappointed. The two decide to journey back to “the line” this week, however, with the intention of trading Creepy Balloon Guy for Walt (who’s been missing for the entire second season), but Creepy Balloon Guy puts it simply: “They’ll never give you Walt.” This guy is bad, man. Lest us not forget the incredibly sinister smile that he shed towards the end of the episode when he realized that he had successfully pissed of Locke. In fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the leader of the Others. He’s certainly proved his cunning and willpower over the past week, and I wouldn’t doubt for a second that he’s got a few more aces up his sleeve.

The next episode (which airs after a two week break) looks to be one of the biggest hours of the entire second season – especially with the return of Michael prompting an all-out war on the Others. Will we finally see the survivors fight back? Can Locke remember all of the details of the blacklight map? Is Sun really carrying Jin’s baby? Or is all of this just a figment of Hurley’s imagination? Surely one of these questions will be answered before the end of the season, but it will most likely raise seventeen more.

DVD shuffle: 04/11/06

Out on DVD this week:

1) The Greatest Game Ever Played – RENT: Okay, so Disney may be getting a little out of hand with these true-story sports underdog movies, but I’ll be damned if every single one isn’t entertaining. Plus, it’s always nice to see Shia LeBeouf proving his talents in a creditable role. This kid’s got future Oscar winner written all over him.

2) Fun With Dick & Jane – RENT: Probably the funniest Jim Carrey comedy of the past decade. It’s not perfect, and the DVD doesn’t offer much in the way of special features, but it’s worth seeing atleast once.

3) Mission: Impossible/Mission: Impossible 2 – BUY: I don’t care how much of a loser Tom Cruise may be these days, the “Mission: Impossible” films are good fun, and the upcoming third film will be a nice trilogy topper. With that said, the first film is far superior when compared to John Woo’s follow-up, but both are necessary additions for any DVD enthusiast.

Also out this week is the Aussie horror flick “Wolf Creek,” the little-seen drama “An Unfinished Life,” the Naomi Watts vehicle “Ellie Parker” and the fifth season of “In Living Color.”

Rapid Fire Rejects, Volume IV

“I Love Your Work”
The directorial debut of Adam Goldberg (one of my favorite B-list actors) isn’t nearly as promising as I would have hoped it would be. Incredibly experimental in tone, “I Love Your Work” studies the effect that fame has on celebrities through a fictional character (Giovanni Ribisi) who’s one of the biggest stars in cinema. The movie loses most of its interest during the constant flip-flopping of reality and fantasy, however, until eventually the audience can’t tell the difference between the two. Half-assed supporting performances by Franka Potente, Jason Lee, and Joshua Jackson make watching the film that much more disappointing. It’s not horrible, but you should definitely approach it with extreme caution.

“Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King”
Just what we need; another low budget fantasy film made specifically for the Sci-Fi Channel. And while I’m not against the basic cable channel producing their own silly epics, there’s really no need to release it on DVD unless it’s actually good. Chock full of B-movie actors like Krisanna Loken (appearing in her third fantasy film of the year) and Julian “Warlock” Sands, not to mention a whole mess of cheesy sound effects and slo-mo action sequences, “Dark Kingdom: The Dragon King” is yet another “LOTR” wannabe destined for the bargain bin.

“Andre the Butcher”
TH!NKFilm studios hit it big last year with the acquisition of the blockbuster documentary “Murderball,” so you can expect a whole slew of shitty films to follow its success into 2006. “Andre the Butcher” is such a film, offering the worst of indie horror in one short spin of the disc. Of course, the fact that porn superstar Ron Jeremy makes an appearance doesn’t bode well either, but it certainly adds to the absolute tackiness of the picture.

Why do all the best films get the least exposure?

If last week’s box office business is any indication, then the thriller/comedy “Lucky Number Slevin” should open somewhere in the bottom ten this weekend. That’s what happened to “Slither,” a far superior film when compared to the likes of “Ice Age: The Meltdown” and the other major breadwinners. This means that while “Take the Lead” and “Phat Girlz” (ye gods) probably won’t make a lot of change this weekend either, the latest Adam Sandler-produced “The Benchwarmers” will earn more money than it deserves. It’s not exactly fair, but since when has Hollywood treated the American public with any respect?

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