Author: Deb Medsker (Page 62 of 70)

Adventures in babysitting

Actress Elisabeth Shue is pregnant with her third child at the age of 42. Which of Shue’s films will the proud parents wait the longest before allowing their offspring to view it?

A. “The Saint,” because exposing impressionable children to Val Kilmer’s ego is a disaster waiting to happen;
B. “Leaving Las Vegas,” because it would be too hard to explain why it’s okay for Mommy to let strangers pay her for sex, but not okay for them to insist on using the service entrance; or
C. “Hollow Man,” because it’s “Hollow Man.”

Leif Garrett proves he can, in fact, get arrested in Hollywood

The 44-year-old former teen idol, who once sold many, many records to Buffybot, was apprehended at a subway station for failing to buy a ticket. Suspicious authorities then searched the man who “was made for dancing” and discovered that he also apparently was made for concealing heroin.

Garrett’s arrest will likely put a damper on his comeback efforts…as will the unflattering mug shot revealing that his once-lush, groovy tresses of golden hair are now long gone.

(I say, if the “can’t get arrested” joke is funny once, it’s twice as funny the second time…right, Shelley “the Machine” Levine?)

Captain Kirk’s new enterprise: Calcified urine

William Shatner has just sold a kidney stone for $25,000. That is not a misprint. Shatner passed the stone–which was apparently large enough to mount in a setting and wear as a ring, if the lucky bidder should so desire–last fall, and recently offered it up for auction, in order to donate the proceeds to charity.

Online casino GoldenPalace.com, known for their collection of oddities including a partially eaten cheese sandwich said to resemble the Virgin Mary, placed the high bid and will now add the hardened urine crystal to its treasure trove. Proceeds from the sale were donated to Habitat for Humanity.

A few questions here. Well, really, dozens of questions, but let’s stick with just these three:

1. Who hangs on to a kidney stone they passed last fall?

2. Is GoldenPalace going to take appropriate sanitary precautions to keep Shatner’s kidney tidbit away from the Virgin Mary sandwich, the Lincoln French Fry, and any other food-related items in their collection?

3. Will Habitat for Humanity now secretly line Shatner’s bedroom with asbestos, in hopes of coaxing out some wicked profitable tumors?

Only time will tell.

Now we’re getting somewhere

Could it be? After straying woefully from the path of righteousness, could the quality-impaired writers of “Desperate Housewives” actually be veering close to getting back on track?

Maybe. Sunday’s episode suggests they may be on to something. Don’t hold your breath just yet…but there might actually be some life left in the old dames.

Not that the episode was stellar; far from it, actually. A Jaded Cliffs Notes summary of the plot would read as follows:

Gabrielle and Carlos storyline: Stupid and boring, as usual
Susan storyline: Stupid as usual, but less boring than Gabby and Carlos
Bree storyline: Less stupid than Gabby or Susan, but significantly more boring
Edie storyline: What Edie storyline?
Applewhite storyline: Not particularly boring, but exceedingly stupid
Lynette storyline: Somewhat stupid at first, but not at all boring–and dripping with future potential
Felicia storyline: Felicia’s back?! Where have you been, Bebe, my delightfully devilish vixen?

The last five minutes of the episode redeemed the earlier fifty-five, with the knockout one-two punch of Tom’s refusal to let Lynette literally emasculate him, and Bebe’s unexpected presence as the new nurse for dearly departed Deirdre’s ailing father, administering Lord knows what to the man indirectly responsible for the murder of her sister Martha.

Tom’s unhappy in his marriage. He should be: Lynette’s behavior has been abominable all season. She’s been out dancing in bars while Tom’s home with the kids, and she even faked a kidnapping of her own children to point out Tom’s shortcomings as a caretaker. He’s had enough, and neither Tom nor Lynette knows what to do about it. At last, some real drama on Wisteria Lane, with not a contrivance in sight. Should be fun to watch.

And that Bebe…you’ve just got to keep an eye on her. She won’t let you do anything else. Even if she did, I wouldn’t advise it.

A new crew in Who-ville

Sci-Fi has picked up the rights to the BBC’s update of the Dr. Who series, starring Christopher Eccleston and Billie Piper. Entertainment Weekly posted this link to the show’s “teaser” page announcing the U.S. deal. The teaser is cute, though not particularly forthcoming…and is just as low-budget as both the previous and, apparently, current iteration of the show.

Don’t click through too deeply into the site’s pages, though: since the first season of the show has already aired in the UK, the site is positively teeming with spoilers.

The series will begin airing on Sci-Fi in March. Now if only they’d exhume The Timelords’ classic single, “Doctorin’ the Tardis” to use as their theme song. I’m sure Gary Glitter could use the royalties once he gets out of prison…

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