Author: Deb Medsker (Page 63 of 70)

Soderbergh seeks to sleep with fishes

Firing a shot across the Establishment’s bow, indie auteur Steven Soderbergh intends to broadcast his new movie, “Bubble,” on high-definition TV the same day it comes out in theaters (January 27), and release it on DVD just four days later. As a result, most major movie chains have refused to carry the film, not wishing to support a product that will appear in competing formats simultaneously.

Soderbergh is just giving people what they want…but that doesn’t mean the Hollywood Powers That Be won’t still try to make an example of him for messing with their revenue model.

Soderbergh’s plan is a victory for everyone who can’t make it to the movie theater as often as they would like (parents of young children, for example), or who have grown disillusioned with the rude behavior of their moviegoing peers. Under Soderbergh’s model, no one will have to wait weeks or months to view a new movie in the comfort of their own home, if that is how they would prefer to view it.

Will this model shrink the total revenue pie for movies released in this fashion? Most likely. Is it still a good idea? Yes, as long as the producers don’t mind giving up that revenue and alienating their distribution partners in the process.

Does Soderbergh stand a very good chance of being fitted for concrete shoes by the boys in the projection booth? Certainly not. Those union men are known to be delightfully easy to reason with, and not the least bit prone to violent outbursts of temper.

But Steve, you might want to bring a pair of water wings to that premiere, just in case.

Rachel Weisz thinks you don’t know where Europe is

Announcing that she is five months pregnant with director/fiancé Darren Aronofsky’s child, the London-born actress patted herself on the back for finding “a sophisticated, educated American…[who has] traveled the world [and] knows where Europe is, unlike a lot of Americans.”

Isn’t there some saying about throwing stones that applies here? Or something about biting the hands that bought enough movie tickets to make you the C-list celebrity you are?

Oh wait, I remember now: “People who are best known for screaming their way through big dumb movies like ‘The Mummy,’ ‘The Mummy Returns,’ and ‘Constantine’ shouldn’t be quite so quick to put on airs of superiority just because they were born in England.” Or something like that.

Anyway, it’s probably a safe bet that more Americans know where Europe is than know who Rachel Weisz is…

Britney Spears, worst-dressed? Surely you jest

Shocking no one, Spears edged out bag lady Mary-Kate Olsen, high-priced call girl Paris Hilton, and even asthmatic hurl-queen Lindsay Lohan for the top honors on Mr. Blackwell’s annual shamefest.

The winning touch? Spears’ tacky accessorizing, having allowed herself to be captured on film dozens of times with a dope-smoking, cornrow-sporting, talent-impaired aspiring white rap artist on her arm. That look is so 2004.

We’re not dating, but we’re pregnant

Still tight-lipped about the nature of their relationship, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt confirmed through their representatives today that Brad has indeed placed a love muffin in Jolie’s oven.

With renovations recently completed on Pitt’s multimillion-dollar love shack, Pitt and Jolie will soon begin construction on a small underground bunker in which to house Maddox and Zahara so they won’t get their dirty adopted germs on Mommy and Daddy’s REAL baby.

Do we really need another thinly-veiled celebrity autobiography?

Let’s play a game. See if you can guess which former child star has a “novel” coming out this spring, based on this excerpt that might (but, well, doesn’t, as far as we know) appear in his or her work of “fiction”:

“So then, after doing a hilarious John Hughes comedy about a guy named Bug trying to date-rape my sister, I spent two hours beating the shit out of a couple of imbeciles at Christmastime. Then I got killed onscreen by a bunch of wussy bees, but it was okay, because Michael Jackson made me the godparent to his first child–which was totally conceived the natural way and didn’t involve lots of scientists with tubes and stuff. Then, when I was seventeen, I figured it was high time I got married.”

That’s right, book club fans: Macaulay Culkin has a word processor, and he’s not afraid to use it! He’s working out his Daddy issues (just like Premium Hollywood’s official celebrity mascot, Lindsay Lohan, does on her new album), and he doesn’t care who knows about it.

Oh well. At least he wrote the damn thing himself (we think), instead of just taking credit for a ghostwriter’s work like Nicole Richie appears to have done.

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