Author: Deb Medsker (Page 60 of 70)

Oops, I didn’t buckle you in

February 8, 2006 /

Britney Spears was recently photographed driving her SUV in Malibu while her son, Sean Preston, sat on her lap behind the wheel–a practice definitely frowned upon by the Baby Safety Police.

Flooded with a torrent of verbal abuse from outraged suburban moms, Britney stammered to explain that the free lap ride was a one-time aberration from her otherwise impeccable mothering. Apparently, Britney had been holding K-Fed Junior in her lap while waiting in a parking lot for her bodyguard to return from his coffee run…when a crowd of “physically aggressive” paparazzi approached. Thus, Britney was forced to floor it, baby bouncing wildly in her lap, the instant her bodyguard returned with the precious caffeinated beverages.

In this week’s People magazine, Britney tells her public, “I love my child, and would do anything to protect him.” Anything, that is, except, I don’t know, hand him to her huge, burly, protective bodyguard, who could then strap Sean into his sturdy, top-of-the-line, protective car seat and leave Mommy free to conduct evasive maneuvers with one hand while sipping her tasty macchiato with the other.

Gossip

Militant lesbian poet to write humorless sitcom

February 1, 2006 /

Ain’t that Rosie O’Donnell just the cutest thing? Clearly delusional, “Ro” apparently believes that there are still people out there who want to see her on television. To that end, she is working on a sitcom pilot with author Alice Hoffman, featuring herself in the starring role as “an Erma Bombeck type” with a blended family, whose ex-husband (???) is forced to move in with her.

O’Donnell, best known of late for her horrifically unflattering haircuts, her rambling political rants, and her creepy online poetry, went on to indicate that she is writing the pilot with Colin Quinn in mind to play the ex-husband role, and Sharon Gless to play the dead ex-lover to whom Rosie/Erma speaks while writing her newspaper column.

To which I say: Sharon Gless could do way better than Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, seriously. Come on. This is Cagney we’re talking about. Or possibly Lacey. I never could remember which was which.

But either way, to the network programming heads out there: Please spare us this blight on humanity. We beg you. We may have to start begging you in creepy online haikus, if this thing goes into production.

Actresses, News, TV

Can two unemployed former substance abusers save NBC?

January 31, 2006 /

“Friends” alumnus Matthew Perry will star in a new NBC show for “West Wing” creators Aaron Sorkin and Thomas Schlamme. The still-untitled program deals with the “behind-the-scenes antics of a late night television comedy skit-show,” and is billed as a sitcom, although each episode will run a full hour in length.

Despite Perry’s and Sorkin’s respective dalliances with various controlled substances (which, if anything, should help them both better relate to the frenetic SNL environment), this development may be just the shot in the arm the struggling peacock needs to help pull itself out of the ratings basement next year (‘cause it’s too late to save ‘em this year, Olympics or not).

Let’s see: A new series that will showcase Perry’s comedic skills, Sorkin’s crackling dialogue, and Saturday Night Live’s absurdist environment. A series from the man who brought us “Sports Night,” one of the best behind-the-scenes media sitcoms ever…airing on the network that brought us “Newsradio,” one of the other best behind-the-scenes media sitcoms ever.

Yep, I’m in.

Actors, TV, TV Comedies

Meg Ryan adopts Chinese baby in transparent ploy to lure Brad Pitt

January 25, 2006 /

Following in the foreign-adoption footsteps of other celebrity moms such as Angelina Jolie and Mia Farrow, single mom Ryan will adopt a female infant from China.

Informed of the news, aspiring Daddy Brad Pitt said he was flattered, but had no plans to leave Hot Mom Angelina for Ryan. Woody Allen said that he too would prefer to remain with his current child bride, Soon-Yi Previn, but to give him a call as soon as Meg’s new little bundle of joy turns eighteen.

Actors, Actresses, Gossip

WB, UPN end Mexican standoff

January 24, 2006 /

Each tired of waiting for the other to surrender, UPN and the WB have agreed to join forces. Take one half-baked network struggling to find an audience for anything that doesn’t star Tyra Banks or a large man in tights, mix it with an only slightly more baked network struggling to broaden its audience beyond its core fan base of teens and young adults…and what do you get? The CW, a new joint venture between CBS Corp. and Warner Bros. Entertainment that is poised (both companies hope) to rise like a phoenix from the ashes of its parent networks.

The new network will schedule 13 hours of primetime programming each week, which means that less successful shows on both UPN and the WB can be sent packing. Who will go, and who gets to stay? No word yet, but smart money says Veronica Mars and Superman needn’t worry about packing up their trailers…but Fran Drescher might want to dust off her resume and practice charming casting directors with that godawful laugh of hers.

News, TV

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