Just read the capsule description of tonight’s South Park episode, and I’m seriously thinking about naming my first born son Trey.
Author: David Medsker (Page 65 of 65)
The numbers are based on Sunday estimates.
1) Chicken Little – $32 million, $80.8 million in two weeks.
This certainly has to make Disney feel a little better about their position in their ongoing negotiations with Pixar for the right to stamp a pair of mouse ears on Pixar’s golden eggs. Translation: Disney’s still over the barrel, but now Pixar isn’t forcing them to keep that rubber ball in their mouth.
2) Zathura – $14 million, first week
Coming soon to the Chinese Theatre: get your photograph taken with a broke, smelly guy in a Zorgon costume.
3) Derailed – $12.8 million, first week
Given the fact that Weinstein Co. played three card monte with this movie in order to keep us from seeing it, the fact that it made eight figures must be considered a victory for all concerned.
4) Get Rich or Die Tryin’ – $12.5 million, first week (Wednesday opening)
Much ado was made about a man who was shot and killed at the concession stand of a Pittsburgh theater that was showing this movie, but all we have to say is, we were out of town when that shit happened.
5) Jarhead – $12.2 million, $47 million in two weeks
The amount of screen time Chris Cooper has in the movie is only slightly more time than he spends onscreen in the trailer.
Not Everyone in Hollywood is Hemorrhaging Money Dept.: Saw II – $9.4 million, $74.1 million in three weeks, which is 15 times more than the movie cost to make. The Legend of Zorro, meanwhile, has grossed $39.5 million in three weeks, which is slightly less than half its estimated budget of $80 million. Coming from Sony next fall: Bear Trap, starring Paul Walker.
When we got the press release that Mike Judge was assembling a set of his favorite Beavis & Butt-Head episodes, and then was adding a bonus disc that had their music video commentary on it, it seemed heaven sent. And then I watched it, and was bored out of my skull.
Now, I’d like to think that I’m not too far removed from the twentysomething that watched the show regularly during its heyday. And yet, with three exceptions, I found it excruciating to sit through the first two discs, which had 20 episodes apiece. Plus, they didn’t include any of the really funny music video commentaries. The thing is just a colossal disappointment all the way around.
So let me have it, people. Is Beavis & Butt-Head still funny? Or have we simply evolved to the point where we (rightfully) expect far more from a show than “dilweed,” “butt munch,” and “Uhhhhhhhhh” as punch lines?
Bullz-Eye.com interviewed stand-up comic Lisa Lampanelli a while back. Here’s a clip:
It takes a tough broad to hang with the boys in the world of comedy, and Lisa Lampanelli is so tough that the boys are actually afraid of her. Her routine (you’ve no doubt seen her on a number of Comedy Central roasts), which focuses mainly on ripping the paying audience to ribbons, is the kind of stuff you’d get out of Don Rickles after messing with his medication. It’s venomous, yes, but playful; her secret weapon is that she’s equal opportunity, and in doing so makes everyone part of the joke and lets them in on it as well.
Bullz-Eye caught up with the lovable Queen of Mean, on the road to support her new album Take It Like a Man, in a hotel outside of Kansas City with a phone system that sounded worse than if we had strung a wire between two tin cans. Luckily, she had her cell phone handy.
BE: (laughs) Roasts are obviously supposed to be mean fun, but that Chevy Chase roast was one of the most mean-spirited things I have ever seen.
LL: Well, because he was such an A-hole. I’ve always thought that the more tongue in cheek the roast comes off, like Foxworthy, he’s such a great guy. I mean, there is nobody who has a legitimate complaint with Jeff Foxworthy.
BE: Well, how could you?
LL: Exactly, and Larry the Cable Guy, they’re all just great guys. And because none of us (roasting Foxworthy) meant anything that we said, it came off so much funnier. And I was the only chick on that, so that helps. You know, “wow, she’s the only girl and she did so good,” this and that. But this Pam Anderson (roast) made it a million times better, because of all those celebs like Courtney Love made idiots out of themselves. And I got to cash in.
BE: I have to admit, I haven’t seen that one yet.
LL: Oh, my God. Dude, Courtney Love and Andy Dick, they misbehaved so much that it was on CNN and Access Hollywood. So everybody wanted to watch it, and because of (Love and Dick) being idiots, people got to know who I was. I’m like, bring it on, drink some more, Courtney, you old whore.
BE: I lose track of all the times I’ve read about Courtney Love doing something stupid.
LL: Oh, well, she did something even stupider. After my set, because I had to headline the thing, I go up, I do really well, she grabs me, and before I know it, she’s kissing me on the lips. Now, listen, I ain’t had a dyke encounter, and I got nothing against lesbo encounters, but I figured that if I had one, that I would be the ugly one. I mean, of all the broads there, of all the chicks that could have planted one on me, like Pam Anderson, Anna Nicole Smith…I would have made out with Bea Arthur, do you understand? I would rather have a Golden Girl on my face than that broad. And she tasted terrible; she tasted like Marion Barry’s morning breath.
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