Author: David Medsker (Page 63 of 65)

“Saw” producer dies in ironic-free fashion

December 6, 2005 / David Medsker

While we do grieve for the family of “Saw” producer Gregg Hoffman, who died Sunday at age 42, the news of his death produced the following conversation between me and my wife Buffybot:

MW: Did you see that the producer of the “Saw” movies is died? He was only 42.

BB: Did he die inside some gruesome, elaborate maze?

MW: He went to the hospital complaining of neck pain.

BB: From the bear trap on his head?

Man, do I love my wife. My condolences to Hoffman’s family, but that conversation was just sitting out there, waiting to be had.

Horror Movies, Movies, News

Box Office Roundup: Harry Potter meets Aeon Flux as a boy, walks away a man

December 4, 2005 / David Medsker

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire – $20.4 million (third weekend, $229.8 million to date).
Bored with beating AIDS victims and farm animals, Potter shows the world his dark side by adding fat people and dominatrix-clad contract killers to the mix.
2) Aeon Flux – $13.1 million (first weekend)
We are all for Charlize Theron in leather, but come on, give us some semblance of a story. Otherwise we’ll stick with the tried and true combination of “Devil’s Advocate” and a jar of Nivea.
3) Walk the Line – $10.0 million (third weekend, $68.7 million to date)
Showing Johnny’s roots is cool and all, but we would have loved to see Joaquin Phoenix shooting the “Hurt” video.
4) Yours, Mine and Ours – $8.4 million (second weekend, $34.5 million to date)
The only Yours, Mine and Ours thing we’re getting anywhere near is the Pernice Brothers’ 2003 album of the same name.
5) Just Friends – $5.6 million (second weekend, $21.1 million to date)
Fat suits are not funny, people.

Movies, News

You kiss your mom with that mouth?

November 30, 2005 / David Medsker

In preparation for the DVD launch of “The Aristocrats,” V2 records is putting out a companion CD containing the world’s most famously filthy joke told by dozens of comedians. They sent us a four minute clip show version of the CD, and we just had to share it with you, our lovely readers. Note: This file is totally NSFW. Don’t say we didn’t warn you.

Humor, Movie DVDs, News, Stand-Up Comics

Da Ali “Gee, someone’s suing us again” Show

November 29, 2005 / David Medsker

This is just gold, right here. The Kazahkstan Government apparently found TV “personality” (and that phrase is used most literally) Borat Sagdiyev so upsetting that they took out a four page spread in the New York Times, defending themselves and decrying the horrible stereotype that Borat has created of their people.

There are so many jokes in this story that we’re not sure where to begin, so we will simply say that if a made up character has the government defending itself to foreign countries, then Sacha must be doing something right. Fight the power, bro.

News, TV, TV Comedies

Box Office Roundup, November 27: Harry Potter beats up Christians, children, farm animals, and AIDS victims.

November 27, 2005 / David Medsker

1) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: $54.9 million (second week, $201 million to date)
Poised to shatter the box office performances of the three previous “Potter” movies, we were stumped as to why “Goblet” was doing so much better than the others. Then it hit us; the other “Potter” movies were really good, and no one likes those kinds of movies.
2) Walk the Line: $19.7 million (second week, $54.7 million to date)
Shortly before his death, Johnny Cash meets a wigged out Joaquin Phoenix, knows the look of a man headed to rehab when he sees it, and says, “Yep, he’ll do.”
3) Yours, Mine and Ours: $17.4 million (opened Wednesday, $24.5 million to date)
We received a pass to see this, but gave it to our friend Wendi. She hasn’t spoken to us since.
4) Chicken Little: $12.4 million (fourth week, $118.2 million to date)
Pixar steps back for a moment, stretches its arms, leans into the ear of “partner” Disney, and whispers, “Time to put the rubber ball back in your mouth.”
5) Rent: $10.7 million (opened Wednesday, $18 million to date)
“Laugh along with the common people, laughing along even though they’re laughing at you, and the stupid things that you do, because you think that poor is cool.”