Ever since Tom Cruise started boffing Rebecca De Mornay in the early 80’s film, Risky Business, bagging older chicks suddenly became rather cool. As the years rolled on, the age of a young man’s preferred conquest consistently ventured higher and in 2009 the mainstream release of Cougar Town – headed by that sordid minx Courtney Cox – finally confirmed that having a sexy older woman on your arm now gains you the ultimate lad points.
If you’re a rookie planning your first foray into the cougar arena, though, don’t expect an easy ride. You’ll be put through your paces and challenged on every level, but if you learn how to tame the beast, the rewards will be far reaching.
Take heed of our top 5 tips for how to satisfy your cougar in the bedroom.
1. Be the king of your domain
A cougar, by definition, will not want a relationship with you. Nor does she want to catch up over coffee or exchange intricate details about your complicated feelings. She wants sex: good sex, fun sex, kinky sex, and exciting sex – physical stimulation that will make her feel good. Plan your meetings well and always act with confidence, for it is dominance that will keep her interested in public and drive her wild in the bedroom.
2. Play your part
A very important factor within this dynamic is being utterly clear on what your role is. Yes, we know that your lover wants your body, but how does she want the set-up to be viewed in public? Does she want people to think you’re a charming friend? Does she like having you to parade on her arm at parties? Does she embrace the fact you are her handsome younger lover? What you portray to the public may be very different to what your relationship is really about, but tick all the right boxes outside of the physical and she’ll be sure to have you marked at the top of her speed dial!
3. 50 shades of detail
If E. L. James has taught us anything, it’s that when it comes to sordid thoughts, not only do women have them (in spades!) but they love to hear about ours, too. This does not mean you should be rude or grotesque, but simply tell your woman exactly what it is you imagine doing to her at home… if you can wait that long! Parting with such information in a risqué place, such as in a busy restaurant over dinner, is a sure-fire way to make your fantasies come true. The devil, as they say, is always in the detail.
4. Build your brand
Unlike younger, insecure women, cougars are unlikely to feel overly jealous towards other sexual partners you may have. In reality, they will be juggling a few boy-toys themselves. Combine this with the fact older women talk in much more detail about their sexual experiences than their younger counterparts and this means her close pool of friends are potential lovers, also. In business, if you want to get more customers, you ensure you have a good product to gain referrals and win repeat business. The principle is the same here. Remember, we are not talking about romance; we are talking about building a platform for you to keep your cougar happy, and being desirable to her friends will not only keep you valuable to her but also allow you to tap into a potential network of eager lovers.
5. Be honest
Leaving aside how dated the “treat ‘em mean, keep ‘em keen” mentality is, it most certainly does not work for dating a cougar. If you are an asshole, she will not want to be seen with you. If you are a liability, she will not risk being stood up when she can have sex with some other hot young man. To an experienced older woman, there is little sexier than somebody who knows what they want and is refreshingly forward when stating it. Believe it or not, a line as simple as “I think you are absolutely beautiful and I want to take you to bed” can work as long as you mean it. If you make promises you can’t keep, she will see straight through you. Remember, she’s been hearing tired old lines since you were sleeping in your father’s testes, so show her some respect.