Mercifully, the people at FOX only gave us one hour of “American Idol” last night, either because of the the inauguration coverage or because they realized that two hours was like stretching a piece of cheese as far as it could go. Or maybe it’s because only nine of last night’s auditions from San Francisco made it to Hollywood. Either way, I thank them, and here were some of the highlights and lowlights:
THE BAD
This dude named Dean-Anthony showed up in this weird, gigantic flannel coat, and he had both a weird smile and a weird vocal delivery….basically everything was way, way over the top. Dude sang a Simply Red song that I swear I could not recognize because of how he butchered it……Dalton, a smart guy who was shown solving a Rubik’s Cube in about 30 seconds, should go back to that left brain thing because the right brain which is the artistic side, not so good……Akilah was another strange bird, evidenced by the fact that she brought drawings of the human anatomy and taught herself to sing using this….she even made reference to the fact that in her first take, she did not bring her vocals up properly from the “rectum”….are you kidding me?…..Annie Murdock was cute and looked promising, but her emotive vocals were too much and just couldn’t cut it with the judges.
Speaking of the judges, you knew this was bound to happen…Simon Cowell and newcomer Kara DioGuardi butted heads a bit because Simon just wouldn’t let Kara speak her mind. Get used to it Kara. But it sure has been taking the attention off Paula this season, hasn’t it?
THE GOOD
Tatiana Del Toro kicked off the show and her confidence was bordering on egotistical bordering on extremely obnoxious. She sang Aretha, which Simon correctly pointed out was a mistake, and while she wasn’t awful, she was not as good as she thought, and she also had one of the most annoying laughs you’ll ever hear, one that the producers of the show had some fun with. Anyway, they let her through after some pleading…..Jesus Valenzuela also made it through with some pleading, because he was only an above average singer, but he brought his kids in with him, and the judges could not say no to the kids…..Adam Lambert, a 26 year old actor, sang “Bohemian Rhapsody” and let’s just say, wow…this kid is going far unless he trips over himself….finally, the heartwarming story of the night was Kai Kalama, a guy who was shown sacrificing many things to take care of his ailing mom. This guy sang “Smoke Gets In Your Eyes” and is a naturally gifted vocalist. Feel-good story aside, I want you all to keep an eye on Kai.
Tonight the auditions move to Louisville, Kentucky, and the show is only one hour again. Sweet! FOX, I thank you for those extra two hours, but I hope you don’t ask for them back any time soon. See you all tomorrow!
