Year: 2006 (Page 199 of 228)

They’ll always have Paris

As thousands of deluded women lacking gaydar weep with relief, bastion of journalistic integrity Life & Style “don’t call us a tabloid” magazine reports (thanks to gawker.com for the link) that Tom Cruise might just be back on the market.

Can it be? Could the fake love that blossomed not even a year ago, conveniently timed just prior to the two fake lovebirds’ major summer movie releases, have slipped away so easily — and just before their fake child is secretly adopted born?

What a devastating turn of events to cloud our great nation’s Valentine’s Day. Why, it seems like only yesterday Tom was moved to grand couch-jumping, Eiffel-Tower-climbing gestures of fake love…and now all he can manage is to buy his soon-to-be-former fake ex a lousy mansion in which to raise the child Tom will forever refer to as his biological son. Unless, of course, Katie conveniently is unfortunate enough to have a miscarriage just prior to the release of the incredibly virile Tom’s next big action movie (“Mission Impossible: 3,” in theaters May 5, tickets on sale soon), a circumstance which would be tragic for everyone involved and is certainly not being planned right this minute. In that case, Katie will have to find her own housing.

True love is fragile, indeed. Let us pray for Tom and Katie, and observe a moment of silence to mourn their deeply pretended, completely heterosexual, non-enduring love.

U.S. Olympic team gets beat up by a bunch of girls

Speaking of smackdowns, the ratings are in, and things aren’t looking so hot for struggling NBC. Sunday night the peacock net’s one great hope for climbing out of the ratings basement, the Winter Olympics telecast, was soundly trounced by a new episode of ABC’s “Desperate Housewives” and by the stellar conclusion to “Grey’s Anatomy’s” “Code Black” Super Bowl cliffhanger.

The world’s finest amateur athletes take on a skinny medical intern and a bunch of over-privileged suburban housewives, and the athletes get their asses handed to them in a lovely gingham-lined wicker basket. Imagine what would have happened if ABC had put Meredith, Izzy, Gabrielle and Edie on figure skates: NBC might have just thrown in the towel and aired a test pattern instead, to save money.

DVD shuffle: 02/14/06 – Hallmark Day: Part One Edition

New on DVD this week:

1) Saw II – RENT: Let me just begin by saying that while I find the “Saw” franchise to be an interesting idea, the producers should have never allowed anybody else near their baby. The script for the sequel wasn’t intended for the “Saw” series, and it’s pretty obvious in the everyday horror conventions that appear. Still, the film is worth checking out at least once, but don’t lay down the cash for this version – a SE is sure to hit shelves by the end of the year.

2) Proof – RENT: Another great film that received little attention come awards time. I’m not saying that the film is that good, but it’s refreshing to see Gwyneth Paltrow back in the game. Almost no special features to name of, but director John Madden (no, not that Madden) offers a decent commentary track.

3) Zathura – PASS: I never saw this film, nor do I have any intention to. It surprises me that the author who wrote “Jumanji” could be sitting around his room one day and think: “I’ll just do it ALL over again… but in space!” I’m usually a fan of anything Jon Favreau does, but this kid’s movie is one thing I’ll make the exception for.

Also out on DVD this week is the Neil Gaiman-created “Mirrormask,” season one of “Grey’s Anatomy,” as well as new season releases for several other shows like “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,” “Golden Girls,” “Living Single,” “Gimme a Break” and “Charles in Charge.”

24: Should I take ‘em to the bridge? Should I take ‘em to the bridge? Heeeeeyyyy!

James Brown. You gotta love him.

Ah, it was only a matter of time before the infamous bridge episode appeared. Very little actually happened this week; the terrorists tried to detonate one canister of the nerve gas in a mall, supposedly to test the remote detonators. Of course, the people sent to collect Rossler (our mysterious Russian from last week), who ultimately collect Bauer due to Rossler’s permanent unavailability, conveniently do not know what Rossler looks like, and are completely okay with Rossler’s flawless American accent. Jack, of course, disobeys the coerced order of the President to dispense the gas – he may be a ruthless government agent, but even Jack has his own sense of right and wrong, however morally ambiguous it can be at any given time – and saves the lives of about 900 people in the process…though he ultimately loses the trail of Goodbye Yellow Brick Tie and the canisters after killing one of his henchmen and tailing the other, who kills himself on command before he can be forced to talk. Of course, witnessing the hostile shoot himself in the head should have been enough to make Jack think that maybe they were being watched. But no, the truck carrying all of the remaining canisters drives away, in full view of CTU…from the other side of the street. Sweet Jesus.

Samwise Gamgee, meanwhile, is acting like an injured, cornered animal. I suppose getting beaten up by his sister’s pimp will do that to a person. To make up for his shortcomings, he barks at anyone who dares to cross him, though God love Audrey for having the balls to stand up to both him and Buchanan and force them both to look at the mall scenario from a more humanistic perspective. God knows, that’s more thought than President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk put into it. How many bucks (wow, I just accidentally made a funny here: President Buck Buck Brawwwwwwk tried to pass the buck…ah, never mind) did he try to pass this week? “This is your call, CTU.” (Uh, no, Mr. President, legally, it’s not). “Mike, what do you think I should do?” The man is the poster boy for CYA.

And that is going to be his undoing, because if they go in the direction they appear to be going, Mike Novick is about to show his inner Anakin Skywalker. Novick has always been a guy who was willing to make a tough decision when he had to, but always had the best interests of the country, if not the presidency, at heart. This season, however, he seems to be much more morally compromised, suggesting that Logan cover up Cumming’s “suicide” (I think we all know that Walt the Weasel didn’t really kill himself) and now going along with the decision to release nerve gas in a mall? That’s not Novick at all. He may be a shady double-dealer, but he’s not a murderer…or is he?

The one great bit came when the righteous First Lady Martha (please, please tell me they’ll take the gloves off her soon) had her first helping of humble pie in dealing with the widow of Walt the Weasel. She had fully planned on telling the woman everything, and then changed her mind at the last minute, presumably because she finally realized how freaking crazy it would sound if she told a woman who’s just been told that her husband killed himself that her loving husband was also a traitor and a conspirator in the assassination of former President David Palmer. She’d react the same way any of us would: “Are you kidding me?” Marty may have thought that she sold out, but in truth, she did the only thing she could have done in that situation.

There is talk that “24” will soon become a feature film, and while in most instances that is a bad thing, I think it would be a very, very good thing here. Forget that Johnny Depp real-time mess that was “Nick of Time,” if you even saw it. I think that moving the premise of “24” to the silver screen will enable the producers to leapfrog some of the things that hold the show back….such as episodes like this one. Oh no, there has to be a major, tense moment at the top of every hour? Life just doesn’t work like that, kids. And making a movie of “24”: would skirt past that predictability instantly. Problems could happen at any time, which would keep the viewer constantly on guard. As it is, we always know that something bad is going to happen at the top of every hour, and no matter how drastic it is, it loses its impact since we can see the conflict coming down Broadway. I love “24,” but I’d be lying if I said that its trappings weren’t becoming a big, big hindrance.

“Let me just take this out to the BOOM!!!”

(Spoiler alert: Do not read this post if you have not yet watched last night’s conclusion to “Grey’s Anatomy: Code Black,” but still intend to)

After scoring the highest post-Super Bowl ratings in a decade with last week’s tension-drenched cliffhanger, “Grey’s Anatomy” delivered an equally satisfying finale to the two-part episode. With almost too many nerve-wracking storylines to keep track of — Meredith holding onto a live bazooka shell inside the body of a patient; Miranda Bailey about to give birth while her husband undergoes brain surgery in the operating room right next to the active artillery; top surgeons Preston Burke and Derek Shepherd risking death to save their respective patients; Chief of Surgery Richard Webber suffering an apparent heart attack (okay, that one was too much) — there was no way every single plot line could end happily, tied up in a shiny little bow festooned with hearts and flowers. Someone had to die.

But whom to kill off? Obviously, it couldn’t be a cast regular. They can’t kill Meredith, Burke, Shepherd or Bailey, and we all knew that supposed heart attack wasn’t going to slow Webber down. That still left a handful of appealing options, though: Christina Ricci’s freaked-out paramedic was ripe for some redemptive sacrifice, after abandoning her post and putting the regular cast members’ lives at risk. The patient housing the bazooka shell seemed a likely — if less exciting — candidate, based on sheer stupidity alone. And offing Bailey’s husband just as she gives birth to their child would have been a poignant, satisfying choice — and one with interesting long-term ramifications for her already prickly character.

And yet, none of these characters drew the short straw. That honor went to Kyle Chandler (who is better known for his work in CBS’s “Early Edition,” and who owes his agent a giant french kiss for getting him this part on the heels of his “King Kong” coup), the good-looking, no-nonsense guy from the bomb squad, who deals with this kind of thing every day.

After talking Meredith into removing the bomb from her patient, Kyle carefully takes the shell from her, tells her “You did good,” gingerly walks the live ammunition down the hall…and promptly explodes into a million tiny pieces.

It. Was. So. Freaking. Awesome.

The only problem is: How are the writers ever going to top this episode?

The honest truth is, they may not be able to. But I can’t wait to watch them try.

« Older posts Newer posts »

© 2026 Premium Hollywood

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑