…20th Century Fox has released three more entries in their ongoing series of Shirley Temple DVD reissues.
But, first, welcome to a new feature on Premium Hollywood, where we make note of some new releases that possess a certain degree of merit, even if, y’know, I wouldn’t buy them, personally.
Anyway, back to Shirley Temple.
If last week’s box office business is any indication, then the thriller/comedy “Lucky Number Slevin” should open somewhere in the bottom ten this weekend. That’s what happened to “Slither,” a far superior film when compared to the likes of “Ice Age: The Meltdown” and the other major breadwinners. This means that while “Take the Lead” and “Phat Girlz” (ye gods) probably won’t make a lot of change this weekend either, the latest Adam Sandler-produced “The Benchwarmers” will earn more money than it deserves. It’s not exactly fair, but since when has Hollywood treated the American public with any respect?
Does the world really need a remake of the Burt Reynolds flick, “Sharky’s Machine”? Warner Brothers says, “Hell, yes, it does!”
Okay, so I’m paraphrasing.
The director has even been selected: Phil Joanou, best known for helming U2’s “Rattle and Hum.”
The folks at WB also have remakes of “The Dirty Dozen” and “The Wild Bunch” in the works. Please go see them. If there’s one thing the world doesn’t need, it’s original ideas. Only by going to see tepid remakes can you prevent originality.
David Spade and Heather Locklear? OK, hell must have officially frozen over. All I can say is, “what the fuck?” Mr. Spade, I believe I was in line before you. How you managed to not only get in front of me, but also managed to woo Ms. Locklear is beyond me. I hope you enjoy all that hot, greasy sex, you undeserving man. “The Benchwarmers” better be hella good. Yes, I actually just did say “hella.” Christ.
Can anyone tell me why MCA Home Video can not only get away with releasing a straight-to-video animated feature entitled “The Adventures of Brer Rabbit” but get major names in the African-American community like Wayne Brady, Nick Cannon, D. L. Hughley, Wanda Sykes, and Danny Glover to do the characters’ voices, even as Disney’s “The Song of the South” (1946), which tells approximately the same stories, remains locked tightly in their vaults…right next to Walt’s cryogenic freezer, presumably…and, to date, has NEVER received a home video release in the United States?
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