You wanted it? You got it. A short trailer for the upcoming Sam Jackson flick “Snakes on a Plane” is now up at YouTube. The quality isn’t great, but it’ll do. Click here to view the trailer.
Month: March 2006 (Page 11 of 23)
We’ve all seen upsets in the NCAA tournament. Who can forget #15-seed Santa Clara overcoming a 25-0 run to beat Arizona in 1993? But what about romantic upsets? You know, the schlubby guy with the model wife. They’re everywhere on TV, from sitcoms to commercials. But these upsets happen in real life and you need a way to describe the upset couple to your buddies without actually having to rate the guy. Because rating a man’s looks is not a very heterosexual thing to do.
Here’s an example:
12/5 – Sharon (Gwenyth Paltrow) and Hal (Jack Black) from “Shallow Hal”
The favorite is clear, but the spunky 12-seed often finds a way to win. We see these kinds of upsets all the time, so they’re not too surprising.
Click the link for more details.
Only two new movies opening in wide release this week: the sci-fi actioneer “V for Vendetta” and the teen comedy “She’s the Man.” Both are average films and both will make tons of money come Sunday. So what’s new? Also out this week, but in limited release, is the Jason Reitman satire “Thank You For Smoking” and the Vin Diesel court dramedy “Find Me Guilty.” I’d recommend seeing one of those if they’re playing in your town.
(The role of Art Vandalay will be played by Mike Wazowski, since that miserable Vandalay bastard is having fun at South by Southwest. Fucker just called me to tell me that he shared an elevator with Wayne Coyne of Flaming Lips. Die, Vandalay, die. What? We’re rolling? Shit…)
Art Vandalay is a prophet. His prediction yesterday:
“Melissa McGhee, meanwhile, is the odd one out and will be eliminated this week. Stay tuned America….”
And just like that, she’s gone. The rest of the bottom three was filled out by Ace – whose brother, in attendance, sports a ‘do that more closely resembles Scott Stapp’s than Ace’s – and Lisa, both of whom were greeted by a reign of boos from the audience. (That sounds bad, but it’s actually a good thing, since it means that the audience vehemently disagreed with the voting). It was clear that Lisa was not going to be the one to go, but then again, several talented singers (LaToya London) have been unceremoniously dismissed in the past, so this wouldn’t be the first time the public got it wrong…though, in effect, they did get it wrong, since Kevin Michael Hall should have been the one to go. A 16-year-old virgin is singing about a part time lover? Are you kidding me?
The worst part of the show, honestly, was having to sit through some god-awful new song from performer-of-the-week Stevie Wonder, while the AI hopefuls swayed and clapped along behind him. Stevie’s lucky he has about 30 years of good will going for him, because if he had performed that song as a contestant on “Rock Star: INXS,” like Mig did with that sappy-ass ballad of his, Little Stevie would have gotten the boot.
Wazowski, out.
In yet another example of movie executives just plain missing the point, the film industry has come out with two new ideas designed to halt the decline in moviegoing. According to MPAA chief Dan Glickman, all that’s needed to put those missing butts back in cinema seats is a good old-fashioned ad campaign promoting the general idea of moviegoing (as opposed to touting specific films). Oh, that, and the ability to prevent moviegoers’ cell phones from receiving a signal while inside the theater.
That’s right, folks: the movies themselves don’t need any fixing. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo was an outstanding piece of filmmaking with widespread appeal; the only reason it didn’t score higher at the box office was because the general public was simply worried about being bothered by cell phone users at the cinema, or needed to be reminded that moviegoing is a generally enjoyable activity.
Now, don’t get me wrong: I hate those drooling inbred halfwits who yap on their phones during movies, and I support any steps taken to curb their inappropriate behavior. I have been known to hurl both expletives and popcorn in their direction, and I would be pleased as punch if the FCC actually grants the theater owners’ wishes to jam cell signals while on theater property. It won’t happen, but it’s a lovely dream.
But if the MPAA actually thinks that a cell-signal jam and a happy-go-lucky ad campaign reminding America how much fun it is to go out to the movies is going to solve the problem, they’re in for a nasty surprise. It was bad enough that they wasted precious Oscar telecast time scolding us for viewing movies on DVD and honoring “movies that should only be viewed on the big screen;” now they plan to waste huge gobs of money on an ill-fated ad campaign, as well. Imagine the results they might get if they instead devoted that time, energy and money into making movies that people actually have an interest in seeing.
Of course, that one’s even more of a long shot than getting the cell-signal jam approved…but Hollywood’s all about making dreams come true, right?
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