Michael Douglas is back and his putting the smack down on fellow actors and actresses! Namely Brad Pitt (“”I don’t know about Brad Pitt, leaving that beautiful wife to go hold orphans for Angelina”) and Renee Zellweger (” I mean, don’t ask me what happened with Renee Zellweger. I don’t know how you get married for four months”). Psst, Michael…it’s really only a matter of you getting saggier and baggier before Catherine tires of you or winds up in some affair with a much younger dude. I know what you’re doing though. You’ve already figured this out and are jealous that you’ve missed out on Angelina and Renee. It’s OK to vent, man. Just remember your number will soon be up as well. It probably already is.
Month: March 2006 (Page 12 of 23)
Last night’s “American Idol” show featured a bigger stage, bigger backing band, more lights and more fanfare. Judge Paula Abdul said this season was the most talked about on the streets, and for good reason–the talent is better than it’s ever been. Or at least there is no clear-cut favorite to win it all.
This time it was Stevie Wonder Week for all the contestants. Not only did they have to choose a song by the living legend, they got to hang with him and have him coach them on their vocals. Some of the contestants were overwhelmed with emotion as they worked with Mr. Wonder, and who woudn’t be?
But then we had the performances. Last night there were quite a few mediocre showings and a few clunkers. Here’s the Vandalay recap:
THE GOOD
Katharine McPhee sang “Till You Come Back To Me,” a song Stevie wrote that was made famous by Aretha Franklin. And though Katharine wore a dress that once again made her look pregnant, she brought it vocally. Simon even compared her at this stage of the competition to Kelly Clarkson.
Taylor Hicks did a great job with “Livin For the City,” a perfect track for the gray haired wonder, and Paula said it best: “You had everyone smiling.”
Paris Bennett sang “All I Do” and was strong as usual. The judges made note of Paris’ confidence and the fact that, at 17 years old, comes off like a seasoned veteran.
Chris Daughtry did well with his song choice too, taking on “Higher Ground,” and effectively combining the Stevie version with the Red Hot Chili Peppers version and sounding great in the process. Simon even said Chris could have a hit single with that song right now.
THE IN-BETWEEN
Ace Young redeemed himself this week after that incredibly limp-wristed Michael Jackson song a week ago. He sang “Do I Do” and while his Scott Stapp hairstyle is still annoying, the dude sounded a lot better this time and seemed to pick the right song. Randy and Simon said it was mediocre overall, and I agree.
Elliott Yamin sang “Knocks Me Off My Feet” and even Stevie Wonder said he’s got a great, natural voice. Talk about an endorsement. Elliott did a decent job but just didn’t wow anyone, and that probably included most of America.
Mandisa took on “Don’t You Worry” and it was one of her worst performances yet, though still pretty good by everyone else’s standards.
Bucky sang “Superstitious” and it wasn’t bad overall. He had some balls to his voice though at times had a little too much of that Creed-esque “pickle in mouth” vocal thing going on. Simon said Bucky’s hairstyle reminded him of Jessica Simpson–hey, that’s better than looking like Scott Stapp, isnt’ it?
Lisa Tucker was very good as usual but not quite on par with the four great performances of last night. Lisa sang “Signed, Sealed, Delivered” and if anything, she did a good job of commanding the audience’s attention.
THE BAD
Kellie Pickler, what happened to you? Well, Kellie was a bit out of her element. First of all, she had to wear a nice dress instead of jeans, and secondly, she is a country girl and wasn’t used to singing anything with soul. Kellie sang “Blame It On The Sun” and was pretty much all over the place. Randy said it was like a “non-event” and Simon, who we all know digs this chick, said it was boring. But somehow Kellie’s good looks and quick-witted charm are going to take her a few more rounds.
Melissa McGhee sang “Lately” and messed up the lyrics both in her session with Stevie Wonder and on the stage last night. Simon said it was her best performance yet and Paula said her voice is soothing (soothing? like a carton of smokes maybe). Anyway, Melissa wasn’t awful but still not good enough for mediocre in my book.
Then there is Kevin Covais, who proclaimed himself a sex symbol before performing. Well, maybe to little girls like the ones that came up and hugged him. Anyway, Kevin showed why he soon will be homeward bound by doing “Part Time Lover.” Somehow this kid makes you want to root for him, but he’s just not in the same class as most of remaining contestants. He does get points for snapping back at Simon though:
Simon: “That was appalling.”
Kevin: “That’s okay, I wasn’t expecting much from you.”
Freaking hilarious. If anything, Kevin and Kellie could probably host their own comedy show after they get booted off.
So here’s the deal…I have to pick one contestant for elimination……I think it should be Kevin, though I don’t believe it will be. In fact, both Kevin and Kellie have too much of the cute factor going on. Melissa McGhee, meanwhile, is the odd one out and will be eliminated this week. Stay tuned America….
In what had to have been the most pivotal, jam-packed episode of the season, Vic also managed to get laid not once, but twice, by two different women in about as many days. The first was Hot Lawyer Chick, whose obvious sexual attraction yielded in some much-needed action for a bald friend, while the surprise bang was with none other than Kavanaugh’s ex-wife. And I don’t care how wrong that might have been, because any day you get to see the beautiful Gina Torres’ naked ass is a good day. And speaking of sex, everyone’s favorite gloryhole assailant is back with a whole new line of dangerous mouse traps including ones with serrated edges. Ouch is right. Claudette and Dutch are given the pleasure of investigating the matter further, while Billings drags Julien into the mess as well. And now that Tina is out of his life, Julien’s past dabbling with homosexuality is sure to come back and haunt him by the series’ end. Why else would he go apeshit on the gloryhole suspect when he had him all alone in the investigation room?
Meanwhile, Lem has just about had enough of playing cat and mouse with Kavanaugh (i.e. throwing up blood), and in an attempt to close the investigation, makes a deal with the Chief of Police to plead guilty to the theft of the block of heroin. With it comes a five-year jail sentence, or 18-months with good behavior, but the rest of the Strike Team aren’t as confident with his decision, and so Vic visits Antoine Mitchell to talk with him about Lem’s “comfort of living” should he land in prison. The deal includes Vic and the other guys helping out Antoine’s One-Niner lackeys with a heist at the police warehouse, but when the job goes south, Antoine withdraws his offer. And since the chances of Lem staying alive for more than a few weeks is slim, Vic convinces him to go on the run until they can smooth out all of the details. Like the good boy that he is, Lem listens, but it’s probably only going to spell even more trouble for him in the long run. He would have been better off sticking with his first deal, but lobbying for incarceration in another state. I don’t know if that’s even possible, but it would have been worth a shot.
And in a very surprising turn of events, Claudette’s sitdown with the Assistant Chief about her undisclosed lupus went from a lecture about getting work approval from the city’s doctors to getting offered the captain’s spot once again. This time, however, Claudette actually takes the position (only because there’s a new Chief of Police) and Kavanaugh gets booted out of the Barn. Somehow, he ends up on Vic’s ex-wife’s steps. Is this revenge, or is his attraction the real thing? Also, we already know that Corrine’s an ugly bitch, but would she really fall for a guy like Kavanaugh? I think not, but then again, it would make for some pretty interesting television.
As if anyone really cares, Sharon Stone will be revealing it all again in Basic Instinct 2. According to the article she’s tired of seeing young starlets getting naked and flaunting their hot-ass bods all over the silver screen. The 48-year-old wants to do it again and prove to someone out there that she’s still hot as well. How seeing Stone’s pubic region again is going to prove this to anyone is beyond me. And besides that, who gives a rat’s about Stone anymore, anyway? Oh so that’s why she’s doing full-blown nude scenes again. I gotcha…
Out on DVD this week:
1) A History of Violence – BUY: One of the best movies of the year, hands down.
2) Good Night, Good Luck – RENT: I haven’t seen this film yet, but after all of the Oscar buzz and the positive review by fellow BE movie critic David Medsker, I’m going to go ahead and recommend this one. The DVD, however, contains almost no special features and should probably only be purchased by die-hard fans.
A slow week for new releases, but there’s a slew of Special Editions debuting including “Ice Age,” “Basic Instinct,” “Remember the Titans,” “Deuce Bigalow: Male Gigolo” and “A Fish Called Wanda.”
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