Month: January 2006 (Page 16 of 22)

Girls gone boring

January 9, 2006 /

Last night I woke up around 3:30 needing to take some ibuprofen after coming off the high that was a good night of drinking to the Steelers playoff victory against the Bengals. I grabbed a coke and the pills and got back into bed and switched the tube on for a few minutes to lull myself back to sleepiness. And once again while channel surfing the late night shows, I tripped over the “infomercial” for some “Girls Gone Wild” videos. The guys that created this series have made a fortune, but honestly, I’d love to know who buys them. I like the female body as much as the next person, but I’ll be damned if watching drunk chicks in thongs drunkenly flash their boobs isn’t one of the unsexiest things I’ve ever seen. Someone tell me, what exactly is the thrill of that? Drunk boob shot after drunken boob shot. Oh wait, now they’re kissing each other while fighting off some alcoholic pukes! Act now and get a bonus video with 90 more minutes of this detritus!

I think my 71 year old dad would enjoy it. That older generation still gets a rush out of seeing that kind of poop and thinking it’s “naughty.” Still, I don’t think he’d ever actually plunk down good money for it. I just seriously hate it when boobs get boring. It’s something that should always be mysterious and exciting. Bah…these kids these days having everything far too easy. Respect to the breasts, my brothers and sisters!

Humor, TV

Box Office Roundup: Evil triumphs over good

January 8, 2006 /

Based on Sunday’s estimates:

1) Hostel: $20.1 million (first weekend)
After the tremendous success of the “Saw” movies and now “Hostel,” one thing is abundantly clear about the American moviegoing public: we hate ourselves and want to die, preferably at the hands of a guy with pliers and a chainsaw.
2) The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe: $15.4 million ($247.5 million, fifth weekend)
As a token of their appreciation, Disney has set aside a special slush fund to keep Adam Samberg and Chris Parnell up to their eyeballs in hookers and coke for the next five years.
3) King Kong: $12.4 million ($192.5 million, fourth weekend)
This is going to sail past $200 million, and people are still going to think of it as a failure. Does that seem at all right?
4) Fun with Dick and Jane: $12.2 million ($81.3 million, third weekend)
It’s time to call a moratorium on all of the “$100 million bomb” jokes, as Jim and Tea seem to be doing just fine, thank you. Still, did they really need to spend $100 million on this?
5) Cheaper by the Dozen 2: $8.3 million ($66.4 million, second weekend)
Trust us, when “The Pink Panther” comes out, you’ll try to remember when Martin had better taste in scripts. You know, when he did movies like this.

Movies, News

I reiterate: I heart Kristen Wiig

January 8, 2006 /

Last night SNL reran the very funny episode hosted by Eva Longoria, and I couldn’t have been happier. I went gaga when the episode first ran, but it was less because of Longoria (though she does a wicked Lucille Ball impression) than it was because of newcomer Kristen Wiig.

The first skit, a joke awards show for spam email, featured Wiig as Megan Mullally, which the producers liked so much that they asked her to do it again a couple weeks later. Her money scene, though, came during this silly Vincent Price Thanksgiving special circa 1957, and Wiig positively steals the scene with the funniest Judy Garland impression you’ve ever seen.

Don’t look now, but SNL, with the additions of Wiig, Bill Hader and Adam Samberg, is about to get funny again.

Actresses, TV Comedies

Quandaries in the year 2006

January 8, 2006 /

The new season of “The Shield” starts this week and I’m faced with a tough decision. Do I watch the show as it goes on FX, which basically looks like garbage on my 92″ HD front projection system (as my cable company does not yet carry FX in HD) or do I wait for the DVDs, which will allow me to watch the season in semi-glorious 480p?

I find this dilemma quite humorous considering what quandaries my father and grandfather were likely facing at my age. My father, a teacher at a technical college, was likely stressed about the energy crisis in the ’70s. My grandfather, who moved all over the country chasing jobs as a welder, probably wasn’t sure where he’d be living in the next few months.

I guess we are a product of our times. So, do I wait for those DVDs?

Humor, TV, TV Action, TV Dramas, TV DVDs

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